A Friend With Weed Is Better

Cliffhanger indeed! Sheesh! I's been a busy, busy girl since my last post!
First things first, the boy and I never really discussed issues any further. I'm okay with that, for now. Enough was discussed at the time to keep me at bay. Besides, I have more important things on my mind right now to get overly stressed out on boy stuff, right? Needless to say, things have been going really well with him. I'm not calling him my boyfriend, but what's in a word, really? He explained his side, I explained mine. We'll leave it at that for now.
Midterms are finally over! I had one oral exam on my birthday which totally blew, but it's over so yay. My other midterm was a take home and I turned it in yesterday. So now it's back to the normal school stuff. My Astro teacher decided that he was overloading us with work and thus is giving us an option to either take another oral exam final or write the paper. I am waiting to see how well I did on the last oral before making my decision. Really? Oral would be less time consuming. But I'd prolly do better if I wrote the paper. But it's nice that he finally realized how much he's expecting from us.
I moved! Out of the parentals! Woot! I moved at the beginning of the month into a townhouse in CV with my friend from CSUH, Josh. Awesome! I was so ready to move out. I love my daddy and all, but there's only so long I can handle living with him again (aka, one year). So I moved out. Josh is one of those WoW peeps, so he wouldn't move in until we got internet. Specifically, cable internet. Which was Monday. So I had my own place for 10 whole days. 'Twas nice, actually! On my birthday, the boy brought me sushi with candles in it and we stayed in and watched a movie in my own place. :) yay. It's hard dating when you both live at home with parents! But such is the Bay Area life, I s'pose.
Yeah, yeah... need to work now. Hope that can tide you over, Ms. Shiva!!! Much kisses!
*S*

So Give Me Something To Believe

Still no word back from the boy. It's hardly been a day and a half, but I still want the letter to be ash. It's to the point of making me sick to my stomach. When I think about it. Which is pretty much always.
I realized today that even though I am on Spring Break, I should prolly actually work on school stuff. I was trying my damnest to ignore it, but really? I don't want to be uber stressed out in two weeks when I am overwhelmed with midterms and papers and homeworks. Yuck! So I seriously need to finish up the homework that was due last Friday that my teacher decided to give us the break to finish up. And? 15 page paper comes to mind. And seeing as how I completely skipped over the undergrad Astrophysics class (it was cancelled, so I went straight into the grad level Astrophysics course), I have a lot of research to do on my topic (X-Ray Binary Formation and Evolution) before I can even do the research. Since I have zero background on the subject except a nice picture in my brain of a star swirling around a black hole which is gobbling up the star's mass (pretty picture, actually... but I can't write 15 pages on how much I think the picture is pretty, right?), I need to actually LEARN about X-Ray Binary Systems before I can delve right into reading 5 recent physics journal arcticles on the topic (not the easiest of tasks, if you've ever tried to read a physics journal article on a topic you know nothing about...). And then come up with 15 pages to write about! Wooooo! And a smidgen of hoo to boot.
So that's where I've been all semester. Learning about stuff so I can learn about stuff. I guess that's what Grad school is all about? I dunno. I'm not even sure anymore that I want to even do Astrophysics. It's pretty hard! But then what? I kinda like Quantum. I hear there's a Quantum Astrophysics field that is up and coming... I'll have to look into that. After the paper is done, of course. Providing I ever even start it. Teehee. Such the procrastinator, I am.

Black Holes and Revelations

Sarah made a booboo yesterday. She told the boy that she is in love with him. What the eff, man?!?!? What was I thinking? Was I even thinking at all? Everything was all fine and good and we had a fun night at D&B's on Saturday night. Sunday morn, he went to take a shower and get ready for family gathering nonsense and by the time he came back, I was in tears. So here's the deal. We've been dating for (almost) 6 months and I kinda feel like we're in limbo-land. I understand that he has girlfriend issues right now because of some past bull that he had to deal with... but I just can't sit idylly by anymore. I have feelings too! And if he isn't going to step up to the plate at some point, now is the time for me to know. I guess that's my argument. I dunno anymore. I was sad because all these doubts are totally overwhelming. But in the end, I had to tell him. He was utterly confused as to why I was happy when he left me and in tears when he came back. I had to tell him something, why not the truth? So now I dunno. He wanted me to write everything down because sometimes it's easier to get thoughts out on paper. I would have agreed with him 5 years ago. But writing all that stuff down just made me feel icky inside. Basically it was like this, "Here's how I feel - and here's why I am sad because of it." So it was a pretty depressing note by the end, in my opinion. I wanted to burn it. I still do. But he talked me into letting him keep it so he could mull it over for a few days and get back to me. Then I'll burn it. I want no evidence of 4 pages of negative thoughts roaming around my life. Blegh. So now I wait until he has some sort of organized feedback for me. I felt worse before I saw him last night. He keeps telling me not to worry... but the last time I said "I love you" to someone, he broke my heart immediately following. I know Ry wants nothing to do with another broken Sarah heart... so I hope he can move forward with me.
Oh yeah and Wooooooo Spring Break!

Empty Walls

Hey all!
I went and saw Serj Tankian on Saturday night at the Warfield. Awesome. With a little sprinkle of FANTABULOUS on top! What a good show! And the Warfield? I forgot how utterly awesome that place is!!! I went with the boy - who is not my boyfriend, but technically he is cuz we are exclusive but whatever.
Shortest post ever. More to come when I'm not at work haha.
*S*

If You Show Me Heaven I Will Meet You There

Well, evil demon-lady gave me a B-. I should be happy it isn't a C, but I worked my ass off for a freakin' B-. That means that if I don't get a combo of a B+ and a B or better next semester, I am out of the program.
I hope she's happy.
And to think, I still have another class to take from her before my time at SFSU is done. And it's a harder class. Vomit.

How Long Must We Sing This Song?

Finals.
Need I say more?
Noether's Theorem can go eff itself. Even if Noether was a chick. And there are never any chick theorems in physics. I dare you to check out the proof here. Part (c) of Problem #3 on my PHYS 701 final will be on this principle. Be sad for me. Be scared for me. Most of all, be glad you are not me.

"Noether's theorem is a central result in theoretical physics that shows that a conservation law can be derived from any continuous symmetry. For example, the conservation of energy is a consequence of the fact that all laws of physics (including the values of the physical constants) are invariant under translation through time; they do not change as time passes.

Noether's theorem, published in 1918, holds for all physical laws based upon the action principle. It is named after the early 20th century mathematician Emmy Noether. Noether's theorem is a relationship of classical mechanics between pairs of conjugate variables—if the action is invariant under a shift in one of the two physical variables, then the equations of motion resulting from holding that action stationary conserve the value of the other of the pair of variables. These conjugate pairs also play a crucial role in quantum theory—they are the pairs of variables that are related by the Heisenberg uncertainty principle (such as position and momentum, time and energy, angle and angular momentum, etc)."

(From Wikipedia, who I wish would do my final for me)

Never Let Me Down Again

Is it too early to want my school-free week back? I had way too much fun with my family and lovely friends and surprise visits and and and... well, you know.
Sure would be nice if afore-mentioned boy called a girl back. But I'm not REALLY counting how long it takes... on the outside...
Short post = too much homework a-waiting!
Stars!

Across the Universe

I have a whoooole week off of school for Thanksgiving and guess what that means? One free blog-no guilt attached!

So, I have been in a funk all week. Well, not all week... since I finally got some freakin' sweet bootie on Sunday night! Yippee! Yep, met a boy. In a bar. In Castro Valley, of all places. It was on the night of the CV Pub Crawl at the beginning of October, and it was the last stop of the night-so you can imagine how utterly hammered I was. Anyways, cute boy wants a kiss. Drunk Sarah hasn't had any kisses in a long time so obliges. Yum yum! Puts phone number in his cell, not expecting a phone call ever. But gets one the following week! Doesn't answer, nor call back... he calls again. Wants a date. Okee dokee, why the hell not. He takes me to comedy show and pool hall. Much fun was had and more kisses. Following weekend watched scary movies at his house. More kisses. Following weekend went to the movies and dinner. Yep, kissing occurred. And last weekend watched more movies and got me some lovin'! ;) Happy Sarah was me on the Monday. Happy Sarah will be me on this weekend, if I can help it! ;)

Sad Sarah was Tuesday when ELIZABETH of all mother lovin people was on MY elevator on my way out of class. Ok, so it's not MY elevator, but how is it that I haven't seen her face since the first day of school in August until now. And of course she absolutely has to say something. I wouldn't have even noticed it was her if she hadn't said anything. Why she feels the need to say anything is beyond me. We are not friends. We haven't been in a very long time. And it was her flippin' decision to not be friends in the first place. So why the hell did she need to say words to me? She didn't. And she doesn't. And so then, to my disgust, she gets on the elevator again on Thursday and says more words to me. I couldn't even look at her. I wanted to punch her in the face or barf on her head... It took me all of Tuesday night to get over seeing her the one time and then it happens again?!?!?! Do I need to be taking the stairs now? Just stop saying words to me. WE ARE NOT FRIENDS. And not-friends say not-words to each other. They do nothing! Let's do nothing, shall we, Elizabeth? I thought that was the agreement, here. We are either friends who say words or not-friends who say not-words. There's no such thing as an aquaintanceship for us anymore. We are well beyond that point. So if you want words, then there needs to be more words than elevator words. And that's all on you.

Okay...
Rant:done
Happy-speak:done

What's left... school? Not much to say about that. I hate it. I am reaching a point where I want to quit. Seeing Elizabeth prolly didn't help that much. I'm hoping it's just bcuz this semester is almost over and I'm just over it. But I'm realizing more and more that it's the math I am good at and enjoy more so than the physics. The physics is hard. And I just don't always get it. Is that a sign? Or is it just because, after taking 2 years off of school and starting my master's program off with 2 extremely math-based physics classes hasn't truly gotten me back into the swing of things? I'll give it another go next semester with a lovely Grad level Quantum class and a nice big heaping of Undergrad Astrophysics... that should give me the tell-tale signs I'm looking for. It scares me to think that if I decide to switch to Math... she'd actually be IN my classes. Let's not think about that.

Okay, back to work. I'll see you all back in another 2 months haha.
No, seriously, I'll try to update more soonlier than that.
And yes, soonlier is a word.

*S to the Arah*

Once More, With Feeling

Physics tests are stoopid. Especially ones that are 11 pages long, 17 questions, and take 7 hours to complete. Granted, it was open book. And I took extreme advantage of that fact... I had my Jansport Backpack and my Sierra Club Messenger Bag chalked full of reference material. About 11 books total, one binder full of notes, index cards that I had previously prepared for myself for the Physics GRE, and a graphing calculator. Plus my lunch, of course. I lugged all of that on my poor back and shoulders from Castro Valley BART to Daly City BART to SFSU via a MUNI bus. Fun times, let me tell you. I've decided to do the BART and bus thing instead of driving... it costs about the same in the end. BART is $4.45 each way, the bus is free. Driving would mean $4 toll charge over the bridge, $5 to park on campus all day (or else find 2 hour parking for free and move may car every 2 hours-ick!), plus any gas charges of course. So BART won the prize. Which means I am going to get bored pretty dang quick with all my breaks between classes, having no car to go exploring in. It's pretty much all residential around the campus. On the upside, I won't get all aggro being stuck in commuter traffic twice a week. We'll see how much I hate BART and bus when the rains come...
Back to the test: it covered pretty much what I was expecting it to. Doesn't mean it was easy. By any means. I wanted to rip my hair out of my head, actually. All for the sake of placing me. Stoopid placing me. Can't they just be happy with my freakin' DEGREE????? I am not being graded on it, technically. It's just to see where I have holes in my education. Since we all come from different places, different schools, different curriculums, different educations... makes sense-if you don't have a DEGREE in physics. Which I do. I don't want to have to retake those classes. I was glad to be done with my undergrad for a reason!!! Monday, I have an appointment with my advisor to go over the test. But I pretty much know how I did. We'll see what he has to say.
On a happier note, got to hang with my girls after the test. All I really wanted was to curl up in the fetal position for many many hours days weeks whathaveyou... but I decided that I needed to move on from the poo depressed stage of post-test. So we had coffee. 'Twas nice. We rarely get to go out the three of us anymore.
Then it was Buffy time! Yaaaay! There has got to be nothing better than "Once More, With Feeling" on the big screen as a sing-a-long (that would be the musical episode of Buffy, for those of you who never discovered the show's awesomeness) with a full theater of fellow Buffy enthusiasts! Who can be depressed after that plus 2 additional episodes in all their cheesy glory? Not me, that's for sure!!!

Rebar Girl

Here's something I would gladly go without having to look at for the next 3 days:


But alas, I agreed to help out Fernando again while his bro is in town from NY. Blah. Did I mention I have to be in Napa tomorrow at 5:30 in the am? Blah to the second power.

Wish me luck.

Panther Rock

Everyone should hang out at beaches!
Cuz it's fun!
Especially when there are caves to crawl into!

Beaches Are Fun

It's getting down to the line, folks! I have 15 days of freedom left before school starts. Freaked out much? Why yes, yes I am. I had orientation on Saturday for the new school and all its grad-iness. Not only do I have to jump through a half million hoops for these people before I can actually receive my degree, but I have to maintain a 3.0 GPA in the process, with nothing less than a C in any class. Not that I am a C student, bcuz I am not and never have been. But it's still a little bit intimidating on paper. Campus is tiny, but I like it all in all. Not much is nearby... within walking distance is Lake Merritt, but that's about it. UCSF and Golden Gate Park are close-ish. So that means that Logan will come have some lunch with me sometimes-yay! I have been thinking about getting a new bike so I have some sort of transportation... but I don't know that it's necessary. Since Daly City is consistently and constantly covered in a blanket of fog, riding a bike may not be the funnest. I remember having to ride my bike in Chico in the rainy season and nothing good ever came of it! So we'll see. I should be spending my breaks studying or working on homework or something equally productive, anyways. It's just that they're so loooooong.

Yesterday was beach day. I so needed it before embarking on this journey! We went to Panther Rock-classic! It always amazes me that we don't go there more often. It's less than 1.5 hours away, it's generally sunny (altho often windy), and there's never hoards of people there! We had a beautifully terrific day lounging about the beach in the waves and in the caves.

Relaxation is key.

Knights in White Satin

I must say that waking up at the butt crack of dawn for the purpose of working is not fun in the slightest. For the past two days, I have been waking up at 4:30, getting picked up at 5:00, and starting work at 5:30 in the a.m. Yucky! Yesterday was especially difficult, it being Monday and all. I couldn't really get to sleep as early as I would have liked, and then I was so scared I wouldn't wake up at 4:30 or that I would turn off my alarm without getting up that I woke up every 45 minutes to an hour for the duration of the time that I was sleeping. Today was a little better. I set my cell phone alarm as a back-up, and that helped to get me to sleep through the night without waking up. I feel way more rested today! Granted, I have a sore throat and a slight cough, but minor details. I'm ignoring it for now. Just for today. Then I go back to my normal schedule until Friday, when Fernando leaves for Mexico for a week and I take his place getting up early. Yucky!

It's What You Do To Me

Hey! Here are some good pics of testing I do at my new job!

Pretty bizarre looking, eh?

Black Holes and Revelations

Had to go back to my old job today to pick up a check from San Ramon. 'Twas weird being there on the other side of things - picking up a check as opposed to cutting the check. It was a year ago in April that I moved over to the lab. I'd say that I don't miss that awful desk job pushing papers, but I kind of do. It was definitely easier in the sense that I wasn't lifting heavy things, unless a huge stack of paper counts as "heavy." Everyone who was still there seemed pretty excited to see me. So that was nice. I got some big hugs and good lucks (for going back to school). I even got the latest gossip. Girl/office gossip is so much different than boy/lab gossip! My old Accounts Payable boss wants me to report the happenings described previously about my now old Met Lab boss to the President of the company so that some action will be taken to correct his behavior. Since the big boss here in Oak-town isn't going to do anything drastic himself. She said she'd put something together and show me before she brings it up to the Pres. She doesn't want to do anything I wouldn't agree to. On the one hand, I think it's a good idea. It's awesome that she's got my back, still, even though I left her for the lab... on the other hand, do I want to go over anyone's head that I would have to see everyday? I dunno. She claims it's a law-suit waiting to happen. And she's right. I could probably sue the company for harrassment. I wouldn't, but I could. So maybe getting the President involved is the right thing to do in this case. So it doesn't happen again to someone who might sue the company. Plus, he likes me. If he knew that I was treated badly, he wouldn't be pleased. At all. What do you guys think? Should I do something?

See You on the Dark Side of the Moon

I've decided to try to design a workout schedule in the hopes that I will actually abide by it. For the last week and a half, it has worked.
Monday: Gym - Elliptical 35 minutes + Weight Resistance 10 minutes
Tuesday: Soccer with the peeps - 1-2 hours
Wednesday: Yoga with Jessa - 1.5 hours
Thursday: Gym - Elliptical 35 minutes + Weight Resistance 10 minutes
Friday: Work-out at home - arms and abs 10 minutes each
Saturday: Gym - Elliptical 35 minutes + Weight Resistance 10 minutes
Sunday: Off
Plus hiking thrown in there when I'm so inclined to do so. Yoga tonight! If I can push through my sore ass leg muscles from soccer last night - good turn out! 6 on 6 made for an excellent game :)

Yum Yum In My Tum Tum

Make these whence you have time. They are easy and delicious! Thanks, Food Network!
Let me know if you like these recipes as much as I did!!!


Anytime Vegetable Salad
Recipe courtesy Giada De Laurentiis
Show:
Everyday Italian
Episode:
Personal Chef

2 cups shelled edamame soy beans
8 ounces thin green beans, trimmed
8 ounces yellow wax beans, trimmed
1 1/2 cups cherry tomatoes, halved
1/3 cup red wine vinegar
3 tablespoons extra-virgin olive oil
2 teaspoons chopped fresh basil or tarragon leaves
2 teaspoons chopped fresh thyme leaves
1 teaspoon salt
3/4 teaspoon freshly ground black pepper

Cook the edamame in a large pot of boiling water until crisp-tender, about 3 minutes. Drain. Rinse with cold water, then drain well and pat dry. Repeat with the green beans and yellow beans. Combine the vegetables in a bowl.

Add the vinegar, oil, herbs, 1 teaspoon of salt, and 3/4 teaspoon pepper to a glass screw-top jar. Seal the jar and shake vigorously to mix the vinaigrette.

When you're ready to serve, shake the jar again to re-mix the vinaigrette and pour it over the vegetables. Season with more salt and pepper, if desired.


Cheese Tortellini in Light Broth (I used Pesto Tortellini from Trader Joe's)
Recipe courtesy Giada De Laurentiis
Show:
Everyday Italian
Episode:
Weekend Lunch


8 cups low-salt chicken broth
Freshly ground black pepper
2 (9-ounce) packages refrigerated cheese tortellini
2 tablespoons chopped fresh Italian parsley leaves

Pour the broth into a heavy large saucepan. Cover and bring to a boil over high heat. Season the broth with pepper, to taste. Add the tortellini. Simmer over medium heat until al dente, about 7 minutes.

Ladle the broth and tortellini into soup bowls. Top with parsley and Parmesan crisps and serve.

Parmesan Crisps: 1/2 cup grated Parmesan

Preheat oven to 400 degrees F.

Pour a heaping tablespoon of Parmesan onto a silicone or parchment lined baking sheet and lightly pat down. A silicone baking sheet is highly recommended. Repeat with the remaining cheese, spacing the spoonfuls about a 1/2 inch apart.

Bake for 3 to 5 minutes or until golden and crisp. Cool.

Yield: 8 to 10 crisps

We're all in the mood for a melody

I start my "new" job on Monday. We had the official meeting yesterday. My boss has yet to apologize to me. He claims that when he gets hot in the head, he doesn't remember the things that he said. Now, isn't that terribly convenient? Why yes, yes it is. Argh. I hate it when I don't get my way. And I don't even think it's so bad to request my way, seeing as how it is just an apology.... but if he wants to burn his bridges, then so be it! We'll just see what happens when they get totally swamped and come to me for help. Am I bitter, you ask? Yep. But at least I'm bitter and not jobless. I really didn't want to look for a new job when I'm about to go back to school.

Speaking of which, Simone and I went to Hot Topic last night for baby shower gifts for Cliff and Aariel and I got an uber cute new backpack covered in stars, weeeeee! Hopefully it's big enough. Cuz if I wind up with 6 HUGE textbooks that I must lug around, then I'm effed. See?

Ok, not the best picture, but it was all I could find on such short notice.

I got for Cliff and Aariel 2 onesies, also from Hot Topic. One is white and yellow with the Sublime logo/sun and the other is gray and says "I listen to Led Zeppelin with my daddy." Too cute! Why is everyone having babies? Should I be having babies now too? Nooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo! I don't want any babies.

Free Bird

We have an audit today. I guess we're trying to get re-certified by ICBO, the bigwigs. If we do, then we look good and will get more work. But that means I have to know what I am doing. And I have to care. Neither of which is true at the moment. Well, I wouldn't say that I don't know what I'm doing. Because I do. I just don't know that what I know is what they are looking for, and I have to perform a test in front of them for the audit. Woo, fun! Shouldn't be too bad. Aside from the caring part.
I'm switching departments. As soon as possible. Our camera went missing, and my boss would like to blame the fact that he thinks it got stolen on me. I'm so over it. Here's what happened:
I needed a camera for a special job I was doing for a client. Our old camera is broken (or, this was my understanding anyways), so I asked my boss to use the new camera. He went to his office, got it for me, and handed it directly to me. I then proceeded to do my work as normal, and when I was done, I went to give him back the camera. He was in our new office, moving things around and such, so I held it up and said, "here's the camera, can you download the pictures for me when you have a chance? I'll leave it right here." And put it down. Out of my hands, right? Apparently not. Because when I returned on Thursday (after the fourth of July holiday), the pictures had not yet been downloaded, so I couldn't finish the report. When my boss called me to say he was running late, I reminded him about the pictures and he said the camera was where I left it and he'd do it when he got in. So I went in to do it myself, and no camera. In it's place was our laptop, however. But no camera. When my boss came in, I said I couldn't find it, so he looked all over for it. Couldn't find it. Therefore, he assumes it was stolen. And he says it was MY fault. What the eff, man?!?!? He first says that I shouldn't have been using the new camera in the first place, that he only got it for close up pictures and such (our old camera didn't take good pics of close up things, which we often need). So I'm supposed to use the old camera, which he told me was broken? Then why didn't he say that BEFORE giving me the new one? It's not like I just went in there and took it from his office or something... he brought it to me! So I say, it's not my fault, you can't blame me. And he says that yes, he can. He says I know how absent minded he can be, so I shouldn't have just left it any-old-where because I should have known he would forget about it. I'm sorry, was that in my job spec? To keep track of his things? He acknowledged me when I said I was leaving it there, and never said anything about me needed to put it back away in his office or something. But since I did not take into account his absent-mindedness, it's now my fault that the camera "got stolen" (I still think he misplaced it when he moved the laptop). Mind you, this whole conversation took place over the phone and consisted of me in near tears while my boss is practically screaming these things at me with curse words thrown in to boot.
So he was on his way out of town. And I was on my way out the door. The next day, he wasn't in, so I talked to the big boss and requested a transfer to another department. He said that was fine, he wasn't suprised. Now it's the following week, we're buried in an external ICBO audit to get us re-certified. I do not want to help this guy out in the least, but it's my job so whatever. I haven't mentioned to him what me and the big boss discussed, so I have no idea where we stand in terms of that nonsense. I don't know if big-boss told him already or what. We've all been so busy with this audit, no one's had time to think or worry about much else.
All I wanted was a freakin' apology for him blaming me. But instead I got a lot of yelling. I do not deserve that sort of treatment. No one deserves that sort of treatment. And I won't stand for it anymore. This is not the first time my boss and I have butted heads over his inability to take responsibility for some of his own actions, too.
And I'm done with the vent. Phew!

Every Time I See Your Bubbly Fade, I Get The Tingles In A Silly Place

My back hurts. It sucks getting older. I remember thinking when I was younger that it was weird how adults don't want to sit on the floor anymore and compain about their backs a lot. And now I see myself arriving at that place. Yuck! I decided I needed a break from my manual labor job in order for my back to not completely crumble underneath me while on a ladder. Cuz that would be oh-so-bad!!! Stupid back.
I'm sure it didn't help that I played soccer last night. For a long time. But it was so fun! We had an actual game (sort of)! 12 people came this week, woohoo! Go people! We got our run on for 2 whole hours! On the good field!!! It's awesome when people share. The other team that was practicing was kind enough to let us use half of the field. Oddly, it was chilly last night. I guess our latest hot streak is over for the time being. Unbeknownst to me, of course, who wore soccer shorts and a tee-shirt instead of pants. Oops. For the most part, I kept warm by running as much as possible. But by 8:30, no running was keeping me warm in the slightest. And my back was arguing with me to stop anyways. So I went for another half an hour with my sweatshirt until the rest of the group had had enough. Ah, summer days. Playing until 9 at night is quite possibly the best thing ever.
Monday we buried my grandma. I'm not really sure what else I can say about that. It was nice to have closure. My grandpa is not doing well. I really hope that he can semi-move on before he delves much deeper into his depression. It's a beautiful thing to see someone love someone else as much as he does. But it's a terrifying thing to see what happens when one of them goes. We all miss her. I think about her every day. It's hard not to.
Saw 1408 on Sunday. AWESOME! Go see it.
My friend Aubrey turned 30 on Saturday, and Bobby threw her a huge bash at his parent's house. There was much dancing, drinking, game playing, and swimming. I somehow forgot about my bathing suit, which was left in my car until last night. Now it smells. Bad. Really, really bad. Like, I might have to throw it away bad. I rinsed it, washed it... to no avail. I will rinse and wash once more before I lose all hope.
Let's try this work thing again.

Soccer Funtimes

And indeed it was (funtimes, that is)! We had minor setbacks upon arrival to decided on field at Stonebrae School. Setbacks being that the fields (yep, 2 fields of awesome gopher-free goodness) were being hoarded by hoodlums. Okay, okay. They probably weren't hoodlums, seeing how they were playing some organized sports, but there were so freaking many of them! Why do they have to practice on the days that we want to get out and run around? Do we seriously have to organize ourselves into a "real" team onto a league in order to play on the good fields? So, we moved on over to the classics - East Ave School. It would be nice if it were flat, but you take what you can get. All seven of us got out and ran our arses off for about two hours. Sweet! Obviously, we didn't play full field, lest our legs fall off. So we played half (give or take), three on three, with rotating goalie. If you scored, goalie comes out and you take their place. It works out. Except that I never make any goals, so I never get to be goalie (ie, take a break). Hopefully next week we get some more peeps. I miss having a real game! If we got everyone to come who says they are going to come, we could totally do it. But we somehow tend to always have seven people. Not necessarily the same seven people. It's fun! It's exercise! And if you stretch properly before and after, it only hurts a little bit the next day. Or the next two days.
The rebar is calling. I have 76 to test by the end of today. Looks like I'll be here all night unless I have some super powers I haven't yet discovered that will suddenly go into effect right...
Now.

To Quit Or Not To Quit...

Welp, I've done it again. Gone back on the patch, that is. It's time, I figure, since I've been gearing up for that back to school nonsense the last couple of weeks. San Francisco State officially accepted me, of course. Orientation is on August 11th. 5 hour placement test is on August 23rd. School starts August 27th. Providing all goes well at the placement test (which is open book, thank goodness), here is what I'll be pulling my hair out over:

PHYS 701-Classical Mechanics-Lagrangian mechanics, rigid-body kinematics and dynamics, theory of small vibrations, Hamiltonian mechanics, and canonical transformations.
Tues/Thurs 935-1050

PHYS 726-Quantum Field Theory-Relativistic wave equations; quantization of the scalar, Dirac, and Maxwell fields. The LSZ reduction formula for S-matrix elements. Path-Integral evaluation of time-ordered products. Tree-level Feynman diagrams in quantum electrodynamics, and an introduction to non-abelian gauge theory.
Tues/Thurs 5-615

PHYS 785-Introduction to Theoretical Physics-Advanced concepts and techniques in mathematics applied to problems in physics. Applications in mechanics, electricity and magnetism, and fluids.
Tues/Thurs 210-325

It's quite a workload, if I do say so myself! But I'm absolutely ready to move up in the world and join the ranks of my fellow physicsts! Scared? Most definitely. But in that crazy rollercoaster-horror movie sort of way that I love. Which is why I needed to quit smoking pronto-ly. Cuz if I don't do it before school starts, then I'll find every excuse to continue smoking for the next 2 years of my program. And that just will not do.

So wish me luck on this next portion of my life. It's not gonna be easy...

One Word Survey

One word survey...
You
Can
Only
Type
One
Word
Not as easy as you might think.
1. Where is your cell phone?purse
2. Your boyfriend/girlfriend/husband/wife?single
3. your hair?blonde
4. Your mother?working
5. Your father?retired
6. Your favorite thing?stars
7. Your dream last night?nothing
8. Your favorite drink?coffee
9. Your dream car?celica
10. The room you're in?office
11. Your ex?poop
12. Your fear?drowning
14. Where were u last night?plane
15. What you're not?flying
16. Muffins?breakfast?
17. One of your wish list items?boyfriend
19. The last thing you did?tested
20. What are you wearing?safety-glasses
21. Your TV?off
22. Your pet or pets?purrrrmeow
23. Your computer?on
24. Your life?uneventful
25. Your mood?exhausted
26. Missing someone?yes
28. Your car?outside
29. Your work?lab
31. Like someone?unfortunately
32. Your favorite color?red
33. When is the last time you laughed?yesterday

What happened to 13,18, 27, and 30? I feel totally jipped!

Tell me more, tell me more...

1. Can you cook?
2. What would you do if you were stuck in an elevator?
3. What talent do you wish you had?
4. Favorite place?
5. Favorite vegetable?
6. What was the last book you read?
7. Are you Dirty or Clean?
8. Any tattoos and/or piercings?
9. Worst habit?
HERE COMES THE FUN ...
1. How did we meet?
2. What's your philosophy on life?
3. Negative or Optimistic?
4. What was your dream growing up?
5. Worst thing to ever happen to you?
6. What was your first impression of me?
7. Tell me one weird fact about you:
8. What's your favorite memory of us?
9. If you could go anywhere, where would you go?
10. Have you ever kept anything from me?
11. What do you think of me as a person?
12. Do you think I'm sane or insane?
13. Would you cry for me if I died?
14. Would you be my crime partner or my conscience?
15. If you could change anything about me, would you?
16. How do you fall asleep?
17. Ever gotten angry with me?
18. Would you go on a blind date if I set you up?
19. If you had one day to live, what would you do?
20. A million bucks... what would you do with it?
21. What is your worst fear?
22. Favorite thing to do in your spare time?
23. Can you sing or dance?
24. In one word, how would you describe me? Be honest...
25. Will you repost this so I can fill it out?

The Beginning of the End

I'm going back to school! Well, almost. Just a few more hoops I need to jump through.

Dear Ms. Speckman,
We have receiced your application materials for graduate study in physicsand astronomy at SFSU, and we thank you for your interest in our program.Your application is complete, and currently under review with thegraduate division. Pending this, I do expect that we will be ableto admit you to our program. I hope that you will consider coming toSFSU. I hope that we will be able to process the formal paperwork soon.
Best regards,
-Maarten Golterman

Everything About You Is So Easy To Love

Is there a support group for Lost addicts?
Cuz I have a problem.

It's A New Dawn

I went to the gas station the other day and thought "hmmmm, some water might be nice." You see, it was pretty warm outside (I love California) and I was ever-so-parched. So I walk to the back of the mini-mart and there's a sign posted on the glass for $1 Dasani, 1 pt. Yay! $1. Not too bad of a deal. A small bargain, if you ask me.
To my dismay, the cashier at the front said that it was only $1 after you bought one at regular price. Confused, I went back to the rear of the store to re-read the sign posted on the glass. Nope, nothing on it said anything about having to purchase 2 in order to get the $1 deal.
Is this not misadvertising? What could I do? I made a small hubbub at the counter where the lady and what looked like her manager were talking. It wasn't like an AMPM or some huge chain, just a small gas station. But I feel that it was wrong of them to advertise $1 water when it was not, in fact, $1 at all! Can I report them to some sort of false advertising agency? Then will I get the water for $1?

I heart John Cusack

Ok, so here are all the movies John Cusack has made... I've highlighted in red which movies I own. I'm on a mission to own them all, and any help to acheive this feat would be most appreciated. Next on my list to own are The Journey of Natty Gann and One Crazy Summer. Still hoping to find them used, but no luck yet. And no, I don't have a problem ;)
As always, it's been a pleasure.
*S*

Actor - filmography(In Production) (2000s) (1990s) (1980s)
1408 (2007) (pre-production) .... Mike Enslin
Grace Is Gone (2007) (filming) .... Stanley Philipps
The Martian Child (2006) (post-production)
The Contract (2006) (post-production)
Cosmic Banditos (2007)
The Ice Harvest: Alternate Endings (2006) (V)
The Ice Harvest (2005) .... Charlie Arglist
Must Love Dogs (2005) .... Jake
Runaway Jury (2003) .... Nicholas Easter
Identity (2003) .... Ed
Max (2002/I) .... Max Rothman
Serendipity (2001) .... Jonathan Trager
America's Sweethearts (2001) .... Eddie Thomas
High Fidelity (2000) .... Rob Gordon
Being John Malkovich (1999) .... Craig Schwartz
Cradle Will Rock (1999) .... Nelson Rockefeller
Pushing Tin (1999) .... Nick Falzone... aka Turbulenzen - und andere Katastrophen (Germany)
The Jack Bull (1999) (TV) .... Myrl Redding
The Thin Red Line (1998) .... Captain John Gaff... aka Mince ligne rouge, La (Canada: French title)
This Is My Father (1998/I) .... Eddie Sharp, the Pilot... aka Histoire de mon père, L' (Canada: French title: TV title)
Chicago Cab (1998) .... Scary Man... aka Hellcab (USA: video title)
Midnight in the Garden of Good and Evil (1997) .... John Kelso
Anastasia (1997) (voice) .... Dimitri
Con Air (1997) .... U.S. Marshal Vince Larkin
Grosse Pointe Blank (1997) .... Martin Q. Blank
"Frasier" - Our Father Whose Art Ain't Heaven (1996) TV Episode (voice) .... Greg
City Hall (1996) .... Deputy Mayor Kevin Calhoun
The Road to Wellville (1994) .... Charles Ossining
Bullets Over Broadway (1994) .... David Shayne
Floundering (1994) .... JC
Money for Nothing (1993) .... Joey Coyle
Map of the Human Heart (1993) .... The Mapmaker
Roadside Prophets (1992) (as John Cusak) .... Casper
Bob Roberts (1992) .... Cutting Edge Host
Shadows and Fog (1992) .... Student Jack
True Colors (1991) .... Peter Burton
The Grifters (1990) .... Roy Dillon
Fat Man and Little Boy (1989) .... Michael Merriman... aka Shadow Makers (UK)
Say Anything... (1989) .... Lloyd Dobler... aka ...Say Anything... (USA: promotional title)
Elvis Stories (1989) .... Corky
Tapeheads (1988) .... Ivan Alexeev
Eight Men Out (1988) .... George "Buck" Weaver
Broadcast News (1987) (as John Cusak) .... Angry Messenger
Hot Pursuit (1987) .... Dan Bartlett... aka Persecución intensa (Mexico)
One Crazy Summer (1986) .... Hoops McCann
Stand by Me (1986) .... Denny Lachance
Better Off Dead... (1985) .... Lane Meyer... aka Better Off Dead (USA)
The Journey of Natty Gann (1985) .... Harry
The Sure Thing (1985) .... Walter (Gib) Gibson
Grandview, U.S.A. (1984) .... Johnny Maine
Sixteen Candles (1984) .... Bryce
Class (1983) .... Roscoe Maibaum

Filmography as: Actor, Producer, Writer, Miscellaneous Crew, Himself, Archive Footage
Producer - filmography(In Production) (2000s) (1990s)
Grace Is Gone (2007) (filming) (producer)
Cosmic Banditos (2007) (producer)
Max (2002/I) (associate producer)
Never Get Outta the Boat (2002) (executive producer)
High Fidelity (2000) (co-producer)
The Jack Bull (1999) (TV) (executive producer)
Chicago Cab (1998) (executive producer) ... aka Hellcab (USA: video title)
Grosse Pointe Blank (1997) (co-producer)

Filmography as: Actor, Producer, Writer, Miscellaneous Crew, Himself, Archive Footage
Writer - filmography(2000s) (1990s)
High Fidelity (2000) (screenplay)
Grosse Pointe Blank (1997) (screenplay)

How do you own disorder?

My head hurts. And it has for the last two days. I woke up yesterday morning with the headache and it's been sort of in the background ever since. Yesterday I kept myself pumped up with caffeine which actually seemed to help as long as I drank more within 3 or 4 hours. Now, not so much. It's almost to the point of affecting my work, which totally blows. The light is beginning to hurt my eyes, which is definitely a bad sign. I'm not sure what to do about it. My mom thinks I need to go and see an internalist. Perhaps she is right. I do have frequent headaches. And some of them, like this one, make me just wanna curl up in a dark closet with a wet washcloth. I dunno. Could be the weather, too. It's been very blah here... cold and dry. Which, combined with the dry of the heater, equals more dry. Maybe my sinuses are screaming for some humidity. Sinuses? Sini? Sinusi? I drink a lot of water these days, so I doubt it's dehydration. Stress maybe? I don't feel terribly stressed out, but I do have a lot of things going on in my head as of late. But they're all background things. Gotta pack for the move back to Daddy's house, gotta pay rent (tomorrow-after payday), gotta deal with "the boy" and whatever's bugging him that he hasn't managed to talk to me about yet, gotta visit my grandma who isn't doing altogether well right now, gotta get back to the gym before I gain 10 lbs from quitting smoking (day one is today, again *sigh*), gotta finish my personal statement and apply to SFSU. Nothing terribly major or headache inducing, in my opinion. What else could be causing me headache-strife? Any ideas out there?
Here's an idea, shut off the computer screen...

Don't waste your time or time will waste you

It has been far too long since I have been to a concert! So when Simone reminded me that Muse was coming to town in April, I decided to buy us a pair of tickets. Yay! I lurve concert-going! Should be a good show. Their newest cd is pretty awesome. I would know, as I haven't removed it from my cd player in a month or so. Woo, music! I still need to locate some moolah in order to purchase their previous cd, but I fear not that it will be equally awesome, if not more so.

This whole posting thing is kinda weird. It's been so long since I have updated on a semi-regular basis, I think I forgot how!

Last night I went to sushi with my loverly soon to be ex-roommate Logan and Simoney. We went to Ta-Ke Sushi in Oakland on Grand (or maybe Lakeshore? Not sure). So good! I love that place! It will be a sad day when it's not close to home anymore. I'd better eat there again before I move back home to the CV. Yeah, definitely need to eat there at least one more time. It was good to talk to Logan. I was a little worried about how he was doing. But he seems pretty okay when it comes down to it. He's totally stoked about this new place he'll be moving into with the Dylan-type folk this month. A huge Victorian house in San Ramon, I guess. Like 4300 square feet and shit. I don't even know what I would do with that much space to fill! Aside from that, it seems as though things with the Kristen are going all right with him. They're gonna do the friend thing, which is a definite plus. I hope they can make that work. 2 years is a long time to spend with another human being to not be friends afterwards. Unless, of course, the 2 years was crap like in some situations which I won't mention here but most people know what I'm referring to anyways.

After that, we watched last week's 24 so that I could tape over it with this week's 24. All so we could watch Heroes. Sometimes I wish I watched less tv. But then I remember that I get way too stressed out when I do other things. My brain sometimes needs the tv to stop it from thinking about other silly things that I'd rather not waste my time on. Not a good reason to promote tv watching, I know. But with the school coming back into the picture, I can justify it for the time being. Because once the schooling starts back up, I won't have time for anything except physics, physics, physics.

Speaking of tv, is Lost back yet? I'm having major withdrawls, here! I think it starts back next week and I am oh-so-grateful that it will be 16 episodes in a row with no breaks, repeats, or shenanigans. Altho, this whole waiting 2 months to get my fix is pretty ridiculous.

Ok, done venting now.

Goodbye, House

It appears as though the time in my life of living in my own place has come and gone. For now, anyways. I received word last night that the future of my roommate's relationship is non-existent. I'm sad that they couldn't work it out, but not extremely surprised. Sometimes it just doesn't work and there's only so much you can do to try and ignore the problem instead of make it better. So they've been on a "break" for the last couple of weeks and apparently decided to make it permanent.

So, what does that mean for little me? It means that my sweet deal on rent is now officially gone. I must say that it was awesomely terrific while it lasted! They were by far the best roommates I could have asked for. Not to mention that I will never find $233/mo rent on a house ever again. I am very grateful to them both for allowing me to share in the splendor that was The House.

I s'pose I could stay... it was offered to me. But the rent will not be so sweet and I would have to find a new roommate to share in the not-so-sweet rent. It sounds good in theory, but unlikely that I could truly afford it at this point.

It's back to the parents. That was my final decision after thinking about it for, oh, about 2 minutes. Heh. I'm going back to school in less than a year, so finding a new place for myself isn't too reasonable either. I was planning on moving back home, anyways. I just wasn't going to do it until much later... but shit happens and you have to take it in strides. I'm sad, yes. For Logan and Kristen. And for me. That's allowed, I think.

I'll just take a deep breath... and exhale later...

I Think Too Much... Apparently

I'm a Star

Because my brain hurts today after yesterday's running around.

Note to self: Don't go to 3 different colleges before graduating again. It's just too much trouble!

So, I find it very interesting that the Tarot Card I received is the Star. It gives me some sort of satisfaction at the present moment as I try to gather all of my application materials together for Grad School to study... well, stars to some extent. I'm amazed and impressed by how many schools in California actually have some sort of Astrophysics Program. May not be exactly what I was looking for (which would be Berkeley and Santa Cruz's program... wait, Cruz's? Does that work?), but at least I can get my Masters or Ph.D with an emphasis in Astrophysics. Sure beats trying to find some sort of other speciality I would want to study. Not that High Energy Particle Physics doesn't SOUND appealing, but it's not where my main interest lies or has lay over the past 10 years, you know?

Wow, I am so excited and giddy. Going back to my old schools (CSUH/CSUEB and Chabot/Hesperian High) really got me stoked again. I forgot how much I liked learning! Just the whole college experience is something that I can't wait to go back to. Especially since now it means Research. RESEARCH! That's what I want to do, and I will be doing it in less than a year! WOOOOOOOOOOO! It kind of makes me feel purposeful again. Not that I feel like I somehow don't have a purpose, but I feel like my life is going somewhere... and it's somewhere good! It's what I have been waiting for for so long! And now I am so close it's ridiculous!

Ok, must contain myself. Breathe.

You are The Star

Hope, expectation, Bright promises.

The Star is one of the great cards of faith, dreams realised

The Star is a card that looks to the future. It does not predict any immediate or powerful change, but it does predict hope and healing. This card suggests clarity of vision, spiritual insight. And, most importantly, that unexpected help will be coming, with water to quench your thirst, with a guiding light to the future. They might say you're a dreamer, but you're not the only one.

What Tarot Card are You?
Take the Test to Find Out.

Correction/Update

I talked to my sissy last night... and she has actually lost 25 lbs now. That's 10 lbs in the last month! Go Becky!

Where Were We?

Hellooooooooooooo!
I really have no idea what I should blog about. Just know that I haven't updated in a long while so it seems like a good time now. Especially since we are slowslowslow at the working these days. Stoopid rain making construction slow down. It's not even raining right this instant, but it could pour any second now. It rained quite a lot last week. Well, quite a lot in one day's time. It's not raining in Long Beach. That's where my Thanksgiving will be spent this year. It's Becky's last year of school and she can't make it home this time. So we are taking Thanksgiving to her! Weeee! She's on this crazy Becky-Diet which basically consists of working out 1-2 hrs a day 6 days a week and eating less than 1500 calories a day. It's working, though. She looks freaking fabulous. Lost something like 15 lbs already! And it totally shows! She's stoked... as am I, for her. She needs to know she can do it. I think it was 2 months before she actually started to see results, but she stuck with it and now she's losing weight on a weekly basis! Go Sister! However, she doesn't want us to make stuffing for Thanksgiving dinner. No stuffing! I think my mom and I are going to make it nonetheless. Can't have no stuffing! It's just too good to pass up!
So let's see... what else is new? I took the dreaded Physics GRE. I'm so over it I don't even wanna talk about it anymore. But here's a list of schools I am going to apply to:
UC Berkeley
UC Santa Cruz
San Francisco State
UC Davis
UC Riverside
UC San Diego
UC Santa Barbara
San Jose State
One of them should accapet me, right? I'm at least counting on San Francisco State's vote since they don't require the Physics GRE or a Statement of Purpose, thank goodness. We shall see. I won't even get my scores for a few more weeks... 3-4 more weeks. I hate the waiting game almost as much as I hated the test.
I miss Shiva. I have been thinking about her a lots lately. Should she read this-I heart you!
Okay, well work beckons. Happy Thanksgiving everybody!
*S to the arah*

Hmmm... That's Weird!

HowManyOfMe.com

There are: 2 people with my name in the U.S.A. How many have your name?

Last Day of Summer

Well, this is it. As of 12:03 am (tonight/tomorrow), it is officially Fall in the West. I wouldn't say that I'm sad to see Summer go, nor would I say I am glad. With the ebbs and flows of this last Summer, I am afraid to be a part of the Winter. I guess that's what it comes down to. It got hotter here than it has ever been before this Summer. So I fear that the Winter will bring in a similar fate.
At work, we are having an end-of-summer BBQ. I don't really think that 90% of the people I work with even realize that this is, in fact, the last day of Summer. Nor do I believe that any of them knows what that means in term of the length of the day or it's significance in history. And that makes me sort of sad. Sad that they don't know, that they don't care to know. They will just continue on their day as normal, doing whatever it is that these people do.
Now I sound like I feel superior to them. Which I do not, in any way. I am absolutely positive that they all have some sort of knowledge or know-how in their brains that I could not ever truly comprehend. And I'm okay with that. Most of the time.
For now, let's just take a moment to breathe. Breathe in that last Summer breath and bid it farewell for another year. It's time for the seasons to change.

Physics GRE

Yep... driving me crazy. I have 2 months to remember everything I learned in six years. It's possible, I know. But that doesn't make it any easier, really. Harrumph. So I've just been keeping busy with reviewing my old notes, doing practice problems on the most basic of levels, and making as many note cards as humanly possible. At some point I need to sit down and take one of the two practice tests I have in my possession. Only two. So I figure I'll save those for last. Then I can sit down in my 170 minute time allotment and crank out all 100 problems. You heard me right. 100 problems in 170 minutes. Less than 2 minutes per problem. So I really need to know this stuff. Breathe it. Be able to look at the problem and know what the answer is without having to do any extensive math or derivations. My friend Josh has the utmost faith in my abilities since I have the math background. I, on the other hand, have less faith in myself. I'm scared to death. He took the test twice and did not do so well either time. But it is extremely helpful that he has taken it twice. It means that he knows what is or what is not important. So he's given me an outline to make the best use of my time remaining:

Mechanics
Quantum
Electromagnetism
Optics
Thermal
Nuclear
Lagrangian/Hamiltonian Mechanics

The only reason that Quantum is second on the list is because that's the most recent of things I learned that I am relatively comfortable with. So yeah. I have my work cut out for me. But it's for the best. At least I have a plan. I was trying to work problems from some book claiming to be a Physics GRE Prep Book and getting nowhere fast. Josh basically told me to throw the book away. None of the problems they use are in any way related to the test. So that made me feel a wee bit better. A wee.
Tonight my buds are coming over for study time. Granted we will all be studying various subjects as we are all studying various things, but it will be nice to have some people around who are also trying to get work done. 2 months. Seems like a long time and yet it feels like forever. Only because I'm stressing out so much about the test. I need to just chill. Perhaps take a vacation or two. Oh, right! I am taking a vacation or two! Woohoo! Except that both of them will have to have some study time included. Yucky. Who wants to study in Maui? Not me. But I must. And then I'm going to see my sissy after that for a few days of Universal Studios and Disneyland madness. I doubt I'll study there. I'd study on the plane except that it's only like an hour and I can't do much in an hour aside from organize my 15 books of reference. Well, we shall see how it all pans out.
Until next time,
*Raevyn*

UC Berkeley

Can't they just accept me because I am an awesomely terrific and intelligent person? Why must I have to continually prove myself to people in order to give them money? All I want is a friggin' degree, so what if it is a ph.D?
The day the testing ceases is the day I will finally be able to breathe again.

I Miss My Hair

...it's short now. In case you haven't seen it yet, go here.
I got it did last Saturday before my company picnic. I must admit, I was freakishly nervous. Thankfully, I had all three of my favorite local people there with me. My sister being the biggest help of them all, of course. Since she cut her hair drastically many, many years ago, this totally makes sense. I really wasn't sure what I should do (ie, how to style it in the shorter length-layers or bangs or whathaveyou), but Becky had it down in her mind, so I left it to her to describe it to the hairdresser.
Went to a new place in Pleasanton which a friend recommended a couple of weekends ago wakeboarding. Yep, I tried wakeboarding. 'Twas hard. Really, really hard. Much harder than it looks, even. I kept watching person after person get right up and play around on the wakes. But me? Me no get it. Well, I think I got pretty close, but I didn't actually stand up all the way. Logan, Kristen and I went to New Malones (spelling?) Reservoir near Angel's Camp. Dylan met us there, at Vic (Cliff's cousin) and Kristin's house in Angel's Camp where the three of us (not Dylan) stayed the night. We took up Kristen's parent's boat and quite frankly had a blast! There is absolutely nothing wrong with riding around in a boat all day on a lake that is comfortably cool. So I wasn't upset when I couldn't get up on the wakeboard the first day. The second day did not provide any additional luck in my direction, however. I did manage to get up about halfway on 2 occasions. I thought for sure I had it on the next try. But alas, I did not. I actually managed to smoosh and squish my fingers between the edge of the board and the ropetow. Poop. And ouch. My knuckles on my middle fingers have not yet recovered completely. So better luck next time, I guess.
Anyways, back to the hair. It was per Kristin's recommendation that I go to this particular hair place. And rightly so! She did a pretty awesome job!
So I walk in and sit down and she comes over to talk to me (aka Becky) about how I want it cut yaddayadda. And since I was cutting off a lot, she asked if I would like to donate it. Which of course I did. So off went the 1 foot of healthy, naturally blonde locks to a happy cancer patient.
I miss my hair. I keep playing with it, amazed at how soonly my fingers reach the bottom of my hair when I run them through it.
Buuuuut... all in all, it looks pretty good.
A nice change.
For now, anyways.

Top 10 Star Mysteries

See also: Why I want to do what I want to do

In an effort to post something, anything... I have discovered an excellent article on star mysteries care of Space.com. I would absolutely LOVE to share with you now!

Top 10 Star Mysteries
By Jeanna Bryner

For many stargazers, the night sky might look like a backdrop of very similar twinkling lights. But actually the billions of stars that make up the universe are varied and full of tantalizing marvels. From stellar fireworks caused by supernova explosions to invisible black holes, astronomers are gradually figuring out how stars work and what makes each variety unique. Many mysteries remain, however.

Number 10: Diamonds In the Sky
When a star the mass of our Sun uses up its nuclear fuel, it expels most of its outer layers to leave just a very hot core called a white dwarf. Scientists had speculated that at the bottom of a white dwarf’s 31 mile (50 kilometer)-thick crust was crystallized carbon and oxygen, similar to a diamond. And in 2004, they found that a white dwarf near the constellation Centaurus, BPM 37093, was made of crystallized carbon weighing 5 million trillion trillion pounds. In diamond-speak, that’s 10 billion trillion trillion carats!

Number 9: Stellar Corpses
Magnetars are dense neutron stars—a type of stellar corpse—with magnetic fields billions of times stronger than any magnet on Earth. They release flashes of X-rays about every 10 seconds with an occasional gamma-ray burst. They weren’t classified as a distinct star type until 1998, nearly two decades after their telltale light shows were first spotted: In March 1979, nine spacecraft observed a release of radiation equaling the amount of energy the Sun lets off in a 1,000 years coming from the location of a supernova remnant called N49.

Number 8: Close Quarters
Stellar clusters are composed of many stars that develop at the same time. Some contain several dozen stars, and others many million stars. Some star clusters can be seen with the naked eye, such as the famous Pleiades cluster in the constellation Taurus. Stars form in the same region, but why some stay together forming clusters is a mystery.

Number 7: Stellar Rumbles
A starquake is thought to be the tearing apart of the surface of a neutron star, much like an earthquake here on Earth. In 1999 astronomers identified these bursts as the cause of gamma rays and X-rays coming from neutron stars. Predicting these powerful bursts has remained a mystery. Recently, John Middleditch of Los Alamos National Laboratory and his team found that for a particular type of spinning neutron star called a pulsar, the time to the next quake is proportional to the size of the last quake.

Number 6: Super Stars
A neutron star is born out of a supernova explosion, which compresses the dying star's core—with a mass greater than the sun's—into a ball with a diameter the size of a small city. One step from becoming black holes, neutron stars are the densest objects in the universe. Just a teaspoon would weigh roughly a billions tons on Earth. In 2005, NASA scientists found the source of gamma-ray bursts that emit as much light as 100,000 trillion suns—and solved a 35-year mystery: When two neutron stars collided at speeds tens of thousands of miles per second, they emit gamma-ray fireworks.

Number 5: Star Bursts
A new class of stars called rotating radio transients (RRATs) can be fickle flashers. They are massively compressed neutron stars that intermittently send out bursts of radio waves that can last for as few as two milliseconds with dark gaps lasting as long as three hours. Not only are these outbursts short-lived, in order to detect RRATs astronomers must distinguish the fleeting radio flashes from terrestrial radio interference. Even so, there could be hundreds of thousands of them in the Milky Way.

Number 4: Singles Club?
Stars may not be loners, as once thought. Now astronomers predict that 85 percent of the stars in the Milky Way galaxy reside in multiple-star systems. More than half of all stars are binary stars, or two stars that are bound by their mutual gravitational attraction, with each star orbiting around the center of mass. When three or more stars huddle together, it’s called a multiple star system. In 2005, astronomers presented evidence for the first planet orbiting a binary system.

Number 3: Enigmatic Explosions
The catastrophic explosion of a star sends out shock waves that radiate outward at 22 million mph (35 million kph). The end of life for some stars can be a spectacular event. Called a supernova, when a star that’s more than eight times the mass of our Sun burns out, gravity’s inward push tears apart the star’s innards. The explosion propels jets of high-energy light and matter out into space. Since Johannes Kepler’s supernova was spotted in 1604, astronomers haven’t witnessed one in our own galaxy.

Number 2: Sun Rays
The Sun’s atmosphere, or corona, can reach a bubbling 3.6 million degrees F (2 million degrees C), and can unpredictably fling out streams of high-energy particles at near light-speed. Called solar flares, these bundles of charged particles accelerate along curved magnetic field lines toward Earth, where they can disrupt communications and satellite technology, electronic devices, and even cell phones. The largest solar flares can release millions of hydrogen bombs’ worth of energy, or enough energy to power the United States for 100,000 years if it could be harnessed. Astronomers are just beginning to understand the inner workings of the sun, with the goal of predicting these fiery flares.

Number 1: Grim Reapers
Black holes are so dense that nothing can escape from their gravitational clutches. Once past the event horizon, or the boundary beyond which even light cannot escape, there’s no way out. Now astronomers have strong evidence for the existence of stellar black holes, which form from the collapse of massive stars, as well as super-massive black holes that reach jaw-dropping weights of millions of solar masses.

http://www.space.com/scienceastronomy/top10_star_mysteries.html

Testing... Testing... 123

So the GRE Results are in for round two. Here's how I did both times:

Round One (October 2005):
Verbal - 510 - 52nd Percentile
Math - 710 - 71st Percentile
Essays - 5 - 70th Percentile

Round Two (May 2006):
Verbal - 550 - 62nd Percentile
Math - 790 - 90th Percentile
Essays - 5 - 70th Percentile

Ok well really those scores are off the top of my head, but I think they are correct... Verbal and math are out of 800 points total and the essays are scored on a scale of 1-6 for 2 essays scored by 2 readers and then averaged. I guess it's good I did a little better. 10 more percent on the verbal looks way better, but may still not be enough for Berkeley or Santa Cruz... but that doesn't mean I'm not going to apply. No hurt in that, I figure. But honestly... a 790 in the math section?!?!? I think that means I'm a mathematical genius! Haha, not really... but damn it feels good! Too bad I can't remember enough vocabulary to do as well on the Verbal section!

Dark Crystal Sequel

Can I get a what-what?!?
I am so excited! And it even looks like Brian Froud will be doing the design work again! Woohoo!

http://www.muppetcentral.com/news/2005/051305.shtml

Starbucks Discovery

Did you know that a venti starbucks has the same amount of espresso as the grande? They just add more milk to the venti! I feel totally gipped! All this time I was getting the larger size, thinking that spending that little bit more money on a commodity I neither need nor can afford was waking me up a little bit more! But no! I actually need to fork over even more dough if I want the venti to actually be worth that extra 4 ounces of drink! I am flabberghasted that no one had ever mentioned it to me before. All my time spent in Starbucks, getting to know each and every barista, and nothing! I had to overhear it from some bubbley blonde girl in pigtails shining a fake smile from here to neverland while batting her lashes over blue contact lens laden eyeballs.

I need to find a new cafe.

Fire

Fancy that... I scored as fire and I'm a fire sign, who's surprised?

You scored as Fire. Fire is your predominating element; it rules the signs of Aries, Leo and Sagittarius. Water 65% Fire 65% Air 55% Earth 50% Spirit 35% Which of the Five Elements are you? created with QuizFarm.com

I am so bored! Apparently I work too fast, so now there isn't really anything to do. I guess that's a good thing... getting caught up and all. But now I am just sitting here. My boss is out picking up his son from the airport and Ryan just went to visit his sister in the hospital. That makes me want to go visit Sierra in the hospital. Except that Ryan's sister is in Alameda and Sierra is in Chico. Chico = much, much farther away. I hope she's feeling better! I called her earlier since I haven't heard anything since Saturday, but she didn't answer which leads me to believe that she is still in there. Hopefully she's getting all caught up on the latest Soap gossip or something!
Lalala. Typatypatypa. I guess I could just go home early. I know I'll have work tomorrow and possibly Friday too, but not today it seems. Carol from the Soils Lab may have me help her with some data entry, but she seemed too swamped to even train me on that, so we shall see. She said that she would come and find me. That was awhile ago. An hour maybe? Hum. And la.
It's my sister's birthday today and she isn't here. She'll be here soon, but not until Monday I think. Today she is at a spa all day and I'm totally jealous. My brain feels like jello. I can't even think straight cuz I am so freakin' bored. I can't decide which is better: being overwhelmed with work that is boring or being underwhelmed with work that is fun. Maybe it will pick up soon. Gosh, I hope so.
Yay! Sierra just called me and she is alive, woo! She is still in the hospital, but she sounds like she is doing ten times better, so that is good. I think she will get to leave tomorrow. And she says she's coming down in a month or so for Elizabeth's wedding so that means that I'll get to see her soon too! Yippee!
Ok, well I'm obviously not the creative type today so I'm going to stop the blabbery typing and find something else to do for a little bit.
*~*Raevyn Mystique~*~

The First Thing I've Written Since The Last Thing I Wrote

Swing sets and sing songs
Are longing to play
But His tarnished wheelbarrows
Adulterate Her stay

Impassive and stolid
With tacit, His eyes
Their whimsical opprobrium
A worthy disguise

Her pristine mind
Will inevitably fail
Quiesce the waters
Under Her soporific tale

Moving On

Ok, I'm ready. Ready for what, you may ask... ready to move on. I'm done letting dumb people run my life, and ruin it! I was so over it and moving on, but He just kept on haranguing me. Pretty irritating, if you ask me. Why did He feel the need to call me and let me know that yes, he had had sexual relations with that girl. First of all, I'm no idiot. They have a past together and yadda yadda. But is it truly necessary to call me and tell me it? I'm thinking no, but He did it anyways! So yeah. Not answering the phone when His number pops up anymore. Plus, He for some reason finds it useful to corner me at my car when I'm trying to leave to ask me if we can be friends. Only, it's not as nice as that. It's more of a demand than a request. You can't demand someone whose heart you've broken FOUR times to be your friend, no matter what time of night or how much money she's just won at the poker table! Especially when You make it sound like it's her fault!
So for awhile, I've been avoiding Him. I don't like getting cornered at my car and told how to run my life. Only, He's part of the crew. Even more now than ever before. So that means that I've been excluding myself from outings and gatherings. I've missed 2 soccer games (which turned out to be okay because they only ended up playing basketball instead cuz the field was too muddy), most jam sessions, and numerous poker games. Not any more.
First of all, New Boy Interest is involved in the jam sessions... so, if I start going, then I start connecting. Who cares if poo ex-boyfriend is there? Well, prolly me. But I'll work on that one next. Anyways, He's not always there. I plan on taking my lovely new Irish Tin Whistle to jam out with! Moving up from the spoons, I am!
So we'll see how my new plan pans out. Well, I am sure. If He tries to corner me again, I'll just punch Him in the nose! Ok, maybe not. But I'll tell Him to freakin' leave me alone. When it's time, it's time. When I'm ready, I'm ready. But don't force me into something by making me feel guilty and worthless! Who would want to be that Guy's friend? Sure as hell not me.

Day 5

Of my new life... smoke free and working full-time in the lab! Both are going quite well, actually! I'm wishing I could just be fully trained already because I was getting a little frustrated yesterday. Everyone keeps talking to me like I know everything already, but I don't, so it's a little hard to keep up. But aside from that, it's pretty fun! I had a brief sautering (sp?) lesson yesterday which was awesome. All of my sauters were done correctly the first time which totally helped boost my self-esteem! Jay also took me around to all of the machine shops and outside service labs that we use here, so it was interesting to finally see and meet all of the people I used to send checks to way back in the old A/P days, haha. All in all, things are going well. Speaking of which, I'd better get back to it!

Day 2

Of the non-smoking.
So far, so good!

Surprise!

I have the bestest friends on the planet! Not only did I have an excellent birthday on Friday, but they threw me a surprise party on Saturday night, woo-hoo!
On Friday I had to work. I pulled a full day, even! My boss got me a cake and so we had some chat-time in the break room which was nice, especially for a Friday. It was chocolate with chocolate, but it was still good! I'm not going to complain about work-bought cake!
It started pouring down rain sometime before I left work at 4, so when I attempted to drive my birthday arse down Crow Canyon I discovered that it was totally stopped! I'm pretty sure the hills were trying to take over the road, so as soon as the "Road Work Ahead" came into view I flipped a bitch and went straight for the freeway. Not to mention that at that same instant my gas light flicked on. Hooray for having to buy gas in San Ramon! Actually, it wasn't so bad because the guy at the gas station (who was so short he had to stand on a footstool to see me and reach the cash register, but was cute no less) ran out before I left to give me a Red Bull (for drinking of the Jager Bombs or Red Bull and Vodkas) for my b-day! Woo hoo free Red Bull! So to the freeway I went. And then proceeded to get off the freeway and onto the secret side road that leads to Castro Valley cuz the freeway appeared to be having just as much troubles as Crow Canyon.
But alas, I made it! To my daddy's house in Castro Valley, that is. Just in time to leave again for the A Street Cafe (on A Street, actually) for my b-day din-din. I was craving French food for some strange reason, so that's what I picked for my fancy dinner. And fancy it was! We had escargot and duck pate appetizers. I had a glass of Shiraz cuz my mom talked me into it even tho I felt a little weird about it at first. For dinner, I chose the special: Ostrich in a red wine sauce with Cream of Asparagas Soup. Yum, yum! Ostrich est tres bon! My mom had veal and my dad ordered a rack of lamb. Everything was superb!
Anyhoo, after the fooding (which took two and a half hours), we drove back to my daddy's house and I traversed on to Simoney's house for some festivities.

Haha, I never made it to the party... well, anyways, I am going to post this and be done with it! 4/25/06

Happy Birthday To Me

A quarter of a century...
And I still feel like a wee lass!
So, Reno was the first one to wish me a Happy Birthday this morning.
I love that guy.

Happy B-Day Jessa!

Here are some pics from her par-tay last Saturday (3/25/06). Much fun was had by all!

Job Posting: Metalurgist in Consulting [Oakland]

The Consulting Division is looking for a full time Metallurgical Technician.

SUMMARY: [Hourly position] Under the supervision of the Senior Engineer, this person will be responsible for day-to-day performance of testing programs, organization of the laboratory and maintenance of equipment. Participation in field projects will be part of the job as needed.
The Technician will work closely with the Senior Engineer or other supervisory personnel regarding project requirements, the testing schedule and quality control. Primary activities include scheduling, coordination of materials used in testing programs, conduct of testing, data collection and submission of test results to a senior engineer. The person will typically work on an assigned project basis in writing with an overall schedule and intermediate milestones.

ESSENTIAL DUTIES AND RESPONSIBILITIES include the following.
Technical
1. Complete and pass CEL Training modules for testing procedures (Met Lab)
2. Develop a basic working knowledge of the test equipment and electronic data acquisition systems
3. Comply with requirements of CEL quality program
4. Read test criteria and related technical standards (e.g., ICC-ES, ASTM) as assigned and deemed necessary for test preparation
5. Prepare test area, equipment and fixtures for testing
6. Prepare specimens to be tested according to requirements
7. Perform testing according to requirements

Administrative
1. Report status of daily lab testing programs and activities to Senior Engineer verbally or in writing as directed
2. Submit test results at the end of each day to Senior Engineer for review
3. Keep lab area neat and organized
4. Maintain inventory and storage of sampled and tested product

Other duties as assigned.

QUALIFICATIONS: To perform this job successfully, this individual must be able to perform each essential duty [above] satisfactorily. The requirements listed below are representative of the knowledge, skill and/or ability required. Reasonable accommodations may be made to enable individuals with legally protected disabilities to perform the essential functions.

EDUCATION and/or EXPERIENCE: High school diploma or equivalent; five years related experience and/or training; or equivalent combination of education and experience.

LANGUAGE SKILLS: Ability to read and comprehend instructions, correspondence, memos, safety rules, operating and maintenance instructions and procedures. Ability to write routine reports and correspondence. Ability to effectively present information in one-on-one and small group situations to customers, clients, and other employees of the organization.

WORK SCHEDULE: Regular work schedule is 8:00 a.m. to 5:00 p.m., with a 40 hour, Monday-Friday work week.

If you know of anyone who might be qualified have them get in touch with Jay Dorst in Oakland.

Quite the Predicament!

I'm not even totally sure it is a predicament... but I do feel at a loss as to what I should do (or even what I really want to do!). So maybe someone could give me some enlightening words of advise?
Last week I went on a tour of our Oakland Lab. Yeah, yeah, I know I've been working here for a pretty long time and it's a wee sad that I hadn't toured the lab until last week, but at least I finally had the opportunity to do so! Gary, the president of CEL, offered the tour to those of us who had not had the chance to do so yet. Our Oakland lab consists of the following departments: CEL Consulting (Metals Lab, Forensics Lab, Structural Lab, Temp-Screw, and Consulting Services), Soils Lab, Concrete Lab, and X-Ray. I found the tour pretty interesting... mostly because I love labs (I love lamp). Jay Dorst runs the metals lab/temp-screw department and very much so appreciated my enthusiasm. So much so, in fact, that since my return to the ever-lovable A/P department, he has been calling all of the big-wigs to express interest in my transfer to his department in the Oakland lab.
So then the VP of the company says that he spoke with Jay and that we could always work something out if I wanted to go over there. I said it was in the back of my mind, but I really wasn't looking to move around until Grad School started up and I have to go part time anyways. But then Gary (the Pres) brings it up to me also, saying that he spoke with Jay as well. I guess Jay could really use the help or something! So Gary gave me a similar story, saying that he would be willing to work something out with me if I wanted to go the lab. He said that I could always have a trial period where I could go visit the lab for awhile to get a feel for things without losing my position here.
So, I dunno what to do. I talked to my parents who really want me to try this thing out. I know how much I love working in a lab, I just don't know that this, persay, is what I want to be doing in the lab... whatever this is, exactly. Maybe I should do the trial thing?
See, here's the thing. I'm really excited about going back to school and getting my phD and all that good stuff, and I am afraid that it will be easier for me to not go back to finish if I have a job that I like! So would it not be better to stay in this semi-crappy position that pays fairly decently in order to motivate me to "stay in school"?
And therein lies the predicament.

Is Narcolepsy Contagious?

Music I've Recently Purchased:
Death Cab For Cutie - Plans
Madonna - Confessions on a Dance Floor
Sublime - Gold

Clothes I've Recently Purchased:
Lost Numbers T-Shirt
Red Cords

Listening to Right Now:
Live 105 Online

Did at Lunch:
Drove down Bollinger Canyon to see if the zebra was out... it wasn't, but I did see an ostrich! Talked to some people who live next door to zebra-man and discovered that zebra-owner-man is a zoo psychologist (I think that's what he said...) and there are actually more than one!

Did Last Night:
Sushi with Mom
Spent time with Katy MacMillan who is 7 months prego and called to invite me to the baby shower in April... instead of calling her back, I showed up at her door! I miss her so very much, I forget until I see her again. Note to self: Self, keep in touch with Katy! She's living in Hayward again (and right down the hill from the SJSJ crew!), you no longer have excuses! Baby = girl... Name = Molly (tentatively)

Doing Right Now:
Eating Sunflower Seeds (ie, SALT)

End Transmission

I Know Where You Live Now

Once upon a time I knew What I wanted from this life.
And then
There was you... waltzing in and out of my life
Until butting into my dance.
Not that I truly minded -
Playing your games was the only prerequisite.
Maybe I didn't play them long enough...
Every facet of your being
Was all I wanted to see.
Yet the more I played along,
The further you drifted from me...
Hiding behind a plethora of vocabulary words
And metaphors of song.
Now I wonder who you really are
And what you really wanted from me.
Boys smell nice.
It stains my clothes.
So night sweats masquerade as you,
So quiet and still next to me.
Did you discover sleep, I wonder -
Is that what's taken you from me?
I wonder if you even see
What you're doing and what it truly does to me.
This pipe I smoke to make it stop.
To make the pain you gave me turn to thoughts.
I want to sleep, but in your dreams
You've lost all hopes and faiths in me.
So when I'm gone you'll think no less,
Since life goes on in happiness.
But where will I end up in this,
When everything returns to bliss?
I know where you live now,
I've tasted it.

Time To Go Now

Is it 5 o'clock YET????????????

The President Is My Best Friend

Could it be true? Are people finally coming to their senses?



Taken From msnbc

'Member When I Worked Here?

Just testing the photo feature.

Finally Free!

Do you wanna know what I hate? People who don't even have the decency to say goodbye.
It took three months, but at least I can honestly say that I am finally free.