If I Can't Have You, I Don't Want Nobody, Baby!

So... the quantum grade is in already and it's a B+. I'm ever so slightly disappointed. I was really hoping on, nay, counting on an A or at least an A-. You know, that whole academic probation thing is still hanging over my head. Granted, the B+ brings up my GPA to a 3.0, the minimum I am allowed as a grad student. What does that mean? I have no cushion. That means I have to get a B or better in my Astro calss. Sad face. I was really wanting to do extra well this semester so I wouldn't have to worry about this anymore! Argh!

On a lighter note, here's an interesting article from msn.com:

Einstein's 'God' letter fetches $400,000
He dismissed belief as product of human weakness, called Bible 'childish'

LONDON - A letter in which Albert Einstein dismissed the idea of God as the product of human weakness and the Bible as "pretty childish" has sold at auction for more than $400,000.

Bloomsbury Auctions said Friday that the handwritten letter sold to an overseas collector after frenetic bidding late Thursday in London. The sale price of $404,000, including the buyer's premium, was more than 25 times the pre-sale estimate.

Bloomsbury did not identify the buyer, but managing director Rupert Powell said it was someone with "a passion for theoretical physics and all that that entails."

"This extraordinary letter seemed to strike a chord, and it gave a deep personal insight one of the greatest minds of the 20th century," Powell said.

The letter was written to philosopher Eric Gutkind in January 1954, a year before Einstein's death. In it, the Einstein said that "the word God is for me nothing more than the expression and product of human weaknesses, the Bible a collection of honorable but still primitive legends which are nevertheless pretty childish."

"For me," he added, "the Jewish religion like all other religions is an incarnation of the most childish superstitions."

Addressing the idea that the Jews are God's chosen people, Einstein wrote that "the Jewish people to whom I gladly belong and with whose mentality I have a deep affinity have no different quality for me than all other people. As far as my experience goes, they are also no better than other human groups, although they are protected from the worst cancers by a lack of power. Otherwise I cannot see anything 'chosen' about them."

Bloomsbury spokesman Richard Caton said the auction house was "100 percent certain" of the letter's authenticity. It was offered at auction for the first time, by a private vendor.

'Rather quirky about religion'
Einstein experts say the letter supports the argument that the physicist held complex, agnostic views on religion. He rejected organized faith but often spoke of a spiritual force at work in the universe.

John Brooke, emeritus professor of science and religion at Oxford University, said the letter lends weight to the notion that "Einstein was not a conventional theist" — although he was not an atheist, either.

"Like many great scientists of the past, he is rather quirky about religion, and not always consistent from one period to another," Brooke said.

Born to a Jewish family in Germany in 1879, Einstein said he went through a devout phase as a child before beginning to question conventional religion at the age of 12.

In later life, he expressed a sense of wonder at the universe and its mysteries — what he called a "cosmic religious feeling" — and famously said: "Science without religion is lame, religion without science is blind."

But he also said: "I do not believe in the God of theology who rewards good and punishes evil. My God created laws that take care of that. His universe is not ruled by wishful thinking, but by immutable laws."

Brooke said Einstein believed that "there is some kind of intelligence working its way through nature. But it is certainly not a conventional Christian or Judaic religious view."

Einstein's most famous legacy is the special theory of relativity, which makes the point that a large amount of energy could be released from a tiny amount of matter, as expressed in the equation e=mc2 (energy equals mass times the speed of light squared). The theory changed the face of physics, allowing scientists to make predictions about space and paving the way for nuclear power and the atomic bomb.

Einstein's musings on science, war, peace and God helped make him world famous, and his scientific legacy prompted Time magazine to name him its Person of the 20th Century.

Did I Fail To Mention...

That I got 48/50 on my Graduate Quantum Mechanics midterm? Can I get a what-what? Maybe my calling isn't Astrophysics, after all...

Giving All My Power To The Money Machine

This just in: Friday night, the boy asked me to be his girlfriend. Granted, he was more than just a littled effed up at the time... but he asked, no less. He actually texted me earlier in the evening saying he had something to tell me. Which kinda freaked me out. Especially since he proceeded to lose contact with me for the next few hours. So, I think he was serious about it? We had breakfast the next morning and I mentioned that he said that and he wasn't terribly surprised (but didn't remember). Since he was drunk at the time, I asked him to ask me again when he was sober. So, of course when he didn't remember, I was a little sad. But I think his words the next day were, "the offer still stands." Grr. Boys are a little slow sometimes. Does he not realize that I wanted him to REALLY ask again? "The offer still stands" is so blah! Whatever. I'll take what I can get. He also said those three little words when we were all cuddled together. I didn't tell him about that part. That, we can save for another day.

A Friend With Weed Is Better

Cliffhanger indeed! Sheesh! I's been a busy, busy girl since my last post!
First things first, the boy and I never really discussed issues any further. I'm okay with that, for now. Enough was discussed at the time to keep me at bay. Besides, I have more important things on my mind right now to get overly stressed out on boy stuff, right? Needless to say, things have been going really well with him. I'm not calling him my boyfriend, but what's in a word, really? He explained his side, I explained mine. We'll leave it at that for now.
Midterms are finally over! I had one oral exam on my birthday which totally blew, but it's over so yay. My other midterm was a take home and I turned it in yesterday. So now it's back to the normal school stuff. My Astro teacher decided that he was overloading us with work and thus is giving us an option to either take another oral exam final or write the paper. I am waiting to see how well I did on the last oral before making my decision. Really? Oral would be less time consuming. But I'd prolly do better if I wrote the paper. But it's nice that he finally realized how much he's expecting from us.
I moved! Out of the parentals! Woot! I moved at the beginning of the month into a townhouse in CV with my friend from CSUH, Josh. Awesome! I was so ready to move out. I love my daddy and all, but there's only so long I can handle living with him again (aka, one year). So I moved out. Josh is one of those WoW peeps, so he wouldn't move in until we got internet. Specifically, cable internet. Which was Monday. So I had my own place for 10 whole days. 'Twas nice, actually! On my birthday, the boy brought me sushi with candles in it and we stayed in and watched a movie in my own place. :) yay. It's hard dating when you both live at home with parents! But such is the Bay Area life, I s'pose.
Yeah, yeah... need to work now. Hope that can tide you over, Ms. Shiva!!! Much kisses!
*S*

So Give Me Something To Believe

Still no word back from the boy. It's hardly been a day and a half, but I still want the letter to be ash. It's to the point of making me sick to my stomach. When I think about it. Which is pretty much always.
I realized today that even though I am on Spring Break, I should prolly actually work on school stuff. I was trying my damnest to ignore it, but really? I don't want to be uber stressed out in two weeks when I am overwhelmed with midterms and papers and homeworks. Yuck! So I seriously need to finish up the homework that was due last Friday that my teacher decided to give us the break to finish up. And? 15 page paper comes to mind. And seeing as how I completely skipped over the undergrad Astrophysics class (it was cancelled, so I went straight into the grad level Astrophysics course), I have a lot of research to do on my topic (X-Ray Binary Formation and Evolution) before I can even do the research. Since I have zero background on the subject except a nice picture in my brain of a star swirling around a black hole which is gobbling up the star's mass (pretty picture, actually... but I can't write 15 pages on how much I think the picture is pretty, right?), I need to actually LEARN about X-Ray Binary Systems before I can delve right into reading 5 recent physics journal arcticles on the topic (not the easiest of tasks, if you've ever tried to read a physics journal article on a topic you know nothing about...). And then come up with 15 pages to write about! Wooooo! And a smidgen of hoo to boot.
So that's where I've been all semester. Learning about stuff so I can learn about stuff. I guess that's what Grad school is all about? I dunno. I'm not even sure anymore that I want to even do Astrophysics. It's pretty hard! But then what? I kinda like Quantum. I hear there's a Quantum Astrophysics field that is up and coming... I'll have to look into that. After the paper is done, of course. Providing I ever even start it. Teehee. Such the procrastinator, I am.

Black Holes and Revelations

Sarah made a booboo yesterday. She told the boy that she is in love with him. What the eff, man?!?!? What was I thinking? Was I even thinking at all? Everything was all fine and good and we had a fun night at D&B's on Saturday night. Sunday morn, he went to take a shower and get ready for family gathering nonsense and by the time he came back, I was in tears. So here's the deal. We've been dating for (almost) 6 months and I kinda feel like we're in limbo-land. I understand that he has girlfriend issues right now because of some past bull that he had to deal with... but I just can't sit idylly by anymore. I have feelings too! And if he isn't going to step up to the plate at some point, now is the time for me to know. I guess that's my argument. I dunno anymore. I was sad because all these doubts are totally overwhelming. But in the end, I had to tell him. He was utterly confused as to why I was happy when he left me and in tears when he came back. I had to tell him something, why not the truth? So now I dunno. He wanted me to write everything down because sometimes it's easier to get thoughts out on paper. I would have agreed with him 5 years ago. But writing all that stuff down just made me feel icky inside. Basically it was like this, "Here's how I feel - and here's why I am sad because of it." So it was a pretty depressing note by the end, in my opinion. I wanted to burn it. I still do. But he talked me into letting him keep it so he could mull it over for a few days and get back to me. Then I'll burn it. I want no evidence of 4 pages of negative thoughts roaming around my life. Blegh. So now I wait until he has some sort of organized feedback for me. I felt worse before I saw him last night. He keeps telling me not to worry... but the last time I said "I love you" to someone, he broke my heart immediately following. I know Ry wants nothing to do with another broken Sarah heart... so I hope he can move forward with me.
Oh yeah and Wooooooo Spring Break!

Empty Walls

Hey all!
I went and saw Serj Tankian on Saturday night at the Warfield. Awesome. With a little sprinkle of FANTABULOUS on top! What a good show! And the Warfield? I forgot how utterly awesome that place is!!! I went with the boy - who is not my boyfriend, but technically he is cuz we are exclusive but whatever.
Shortest post ever. More to come when I'm not at work haha.
*S*

If You Show Me Heaven I Will Meet You There

Well, evil demon-lady gave me a B-. I should be happy it isn't a C, but I worked my ass off for a freakin' B-. That means that if I don't get a combo of a B+ and a B or better next semester, I am out of the program.
I hope she's happy.
And to think, I still have another class to take from her before my time at SFSU is done. And it's a harder class. Vomit.

How Long Must We Sing This Song?

Finals.
Need I say more?
Noether's Theorem can go eff itself. Even if Noether was a chick. And there are never any chick theorems in physics. I dare you to check out the proof here. Part (c) of Problem #3 on my PHYS 701 final will be on this principle. Be sad for me. Be scared for me. Most of all, be glad you are not me.

"Noether's theorem is a central result in theoretical physics that shows that a conservation law can be derived from any continuous symmetry. For example, the conservation of energy is a consequence of the fact that all laws of physics (including the values of the physical constants) are invariant under translation through time; they do not change as time passes.

Noether's theorem, published in 1918, holds for all physical laws based upon the action principle. It is named after the early 20th century mathematician Emmy Noether. Noether's theorem is a relationship of classical mechanics between pairs of conjugate variables—if the action is invariant under a shift in one of the two physical variables, then the equations of motion resulting from holding that action stationary conserve the value of the other of the pair of variables. These conjugate pairs also play a crucial role in quantum theory—they are the pairs of variables that are related by the Heisenberg uncertainty principle (such as position and momentum, time and energy, angle and angular momentum, etc)."

(From Wikipedia, who I wish would do my final for me)

Never Let Me Down Again

Is it too early to want my school-free week back? I had way too much fun with my family and lovely friends and surprise visits and and and... well, you know.
Sure would be nice if afore-mentioned boy called a girl back. But I'm not REALLY counting how long it takes... on the outside...
Short post = too much homework a-waiting!
Stars!

Across the Universe

I have a whoooole week off of school for Thanksgiving and guess what that means? One free blog-no guilt attached!

So, I have been in a funk all week. Well, not all week... since I finally got some freakin' sweet bootie on Sunday night! Yippee! Yep, met a boy. In a bar. In Castro Valley, of all places. It was on the night of the CV Pub Crawl at the beginning of October, and it was the last stop of the night-so you can imagine how utterly hammered I was. Anyways, cute boy wants a kiss. Drunk Sarah hasn't had any kisses in a long time so obliges. Yum yum! Puts phone number in his cell, not expecting a phone call ever. But gets one the following week! Doesn't answer, nor call back... he calls again. Wants a date. Okee dokee, why the hell not. He takes me to comedy show and pool hall. Much fun was had and more kisses. Following weekend watched scary movies at his house. More kisses. Following weekend went to the movies and dinner. Yep, kissing occurred. And last weekend watched more movies and got me some lovin'! ;) Happy Sarah was me on the Monday. Happy Sarah will be me on this weekend, if I can help it! ;)

Sad Sarah was Tuesday when ELIZABETH of all mother lovin people was on MY elevator on my way out of class. Ok, so it's not MY elevator, but how is it that I haven't seen her face since the first day of school in August until now. And of course she absolutely has to say something. I wouldn't have even noticed it was her if she hadn't said anything. Why she feels the need to say anything is beyond me. We are not friends. We haven't been in a very long time. And it was her flippin' decision to not be friends in the first place. So why the hell did she need to say words to me? She didn't. And she doesn't. And so then, to my disgust, she gets on the elevator again on Thursday and says more words to me. I couldn't even look at her. I wanted to punch her in the face or barf on her head... It took me all of Tuesday night to get over seeing her the one time and then it happens again?!?!?! Do I need to be taking the stairs now? Just stop saying words to me. WE ARE NOT FRIENDS. And not-friends say not-words to each other. They do nothing! Let's do nothing, shall we, Elizabeth? I thought that was the agreement, here. We are either friends who say words or not-friends who say not-words. There's no such thing as an aquaintanceship for us anymore. We are well beyond that point. So if you want words, then there needs to be more words than elevator words. And that's all on you.

Okay...
Rant:done
Happy-speak:done

What's left... school? Not much to say about that. I hate it. I am reaching a point where I want to quit. Seeing Elizabeth prolly didn't help that much. I'm hoping it's just bcuz this semester is almost over and I'm just over it. But I'm realizing more and more that it's the math I am good at and enjoy more so than the physics. The physics is hard. And I just don't always get it. Is that a sign? Or is it just because, after taking 2 years off of school and starting my master's program off with 2 extremely math-based physics classes hasn't truly gotten me back into the swing of things? I'll give it another go next semester with a lovely Grad level Quantum class and a nice big heaping of Undergrad Astrophysics... that should give me the tell-tale signs I'm looking for. It scares me to think that if I decide to switch to Math... she'd actually be IN my classes. Let's not think about that.

Okay, back to work. I'll see you all back in another 2 months haha.
No, seriously, I'll try to update more soonlier than that.
And yes, soonlier is a word.

*S to the Arah*

Once More, With Feeling

Physics tests are stoopid. Especially ones that are 11 pages long, 17 questions, and take 7 hours to complete. Granted, it was open book. And I took extreme advantage of that fact... I had my Jansport Backpack and my Sierra Club Messenger Bag chalked full of reference material. About 11 books total, one binder full of notes, index cards that I had previously prepared for myself for the Physics GRE, and a graphing calculator. Plus my lunch, of course. I lugged all of that on my poor back and shoulders from Castro Valley BART to Daly City BART to SFSU via a MUNI bus. Fun times, let me tell you. I've decided to do the BART and bus thing instead of driving... it costs about the same in the end. BART is $4.45 each way, the bus is free. Driving would mean $4 toll charge over the bridge, $5 to park on campus all day (or else find 2 hour parking for free and move may car every 2 hours-ick!), plus any gas charges of course. So BART won the prize. Which means I am going to get bored pretty dang quick with all my breaks between classes, having no car to go exploring in. It's pretty much all residential around the campus. On the upside, I won't get all aggro being stuck in commuter traffic twice a week. We'll see how much I hate BART and bus when the rains come...
Back to the test: it covered pretty much what I was expecting it to. Doesn't mean it was easy. By any means. I wanted to rip my hair out of my head, actually. All for the sake of placing me. Stoopid placing me. Can't they just be happy with my freakin' DEGREE????? I am not being graded on it, technically. It's just to see where I have holes in my education. Since we all come from different places, different schools, different curriculums, different educations... makes sense-if you don't have a DEGREE in physics. Which I do. I don't want to have to retake those classes. I was glad to be done with my undergrad for a reason!!! Monday, I have an appointment with my advisor to go over the test. But I pretty much know how I did. We'll see what he has to say.
On a happier note, got to hang with my girls after the test. All I really wanted was to curl up in the fetal position for many many hours days weeks whathaveyou... but I decided that I needed to move on from the poo depressed stage of post-test. So we had coffee. 'Twas nice. We rarely get to go out the three of us anymore.
Then it was Buffy time! Yaaaay! There has got to be nothing better than "Once More, With Feeling" on the big screen as a sing-a-long (that would be the musical episode of Buffy, for those of you who never discovered the show's awesomeness) with a full theater of fellow Buffy enthusiasts! Who can be depressed after that plus 2 additional episodes in all their cheesy glory? Not me, that's for sure!!!

Rebar Girl

Here's something I would gladly go without having to look at for the next 3 days:


But alas, I agreed to help out Fernando again while his bro is in town from NY. Blah. Did I mention I have to be in Napa tomorrow at 5:30 in the am? Blah to the second power.

Wish me luck.

Panther Rock

Everyone should hang out at beaches!
Cuz it's fun!
Especially when there are caves to crawl into!

Beaches Are Fun

It's getting down to the line, folks! I have 15 days of freedom left before school starts. Freaked out much? Why yes, yes I am. I had orientation on Saturday for the new school and all its grad-iness. Not only do I have to jump through a half million hoops for these people before I can actually receive my degree, but I have to maintain a 3.0 GPA in the process, with nothing less than a C in any class. Not that I am a C student, bcuz I am not and never have been. But it's still a little bit intimidating on paper. Campus is tiny, but I like it all in all. Not much is nearby... within walking distance is Lake Merritt, but that's about it. UCSF and Golden Gate Park are close-ish. So that means that Logan will come have some lunch with me sometimes-yay! I have been thinking about getting a new bike so I have some sort of transportation... but I don't know that it's necessary. Since Daly City is consistently and constantly covered in a blanket of fog, riding a bike may not be the funnest. I remember having to ride my bike in Chico in the rainy season and nothing good ever came of it! So we'll see. I should be spending my breaks studying or working on homework or something equally productive, anyways. It's just that they're so loooooong.

Yesterday was beach day. I so needed it before embarking on this journey! We went to Panther Rock-classic! It always amazes me that we don't go there more often. It's less than 1.5 hours away, it's generally sunny (altho often windy), and there's never hoards of people there! We had a beautifully terrific day lounging about the beach in the waves and in the caves.

Relaxation is key.

Knights in White Satin

I must say that waking up at the butt crack of dawn for the purpose of working is not fun in the slightest. For the past two days, I have been waking up at 4:30, getting picked up at 5:00, and starting work at 5:30 in the a.m. Yucky! Yesterday was especially difficult, it being Monday and all. I couldn't really get to sleep as early as I would have liked, and then I was so scared I wouldn't wake up at 4:30 or that I would turn off my alarm without getting up that I woke up every 45 minutes to an hour for the duration of the time that I was sleeping. Today was a little better. I set my cell phone alarm as a back-up, and that helped to get me to sleep through the night without waking up. I feel way more rested today! Granted, I have a sore throat and a slight cough, but minor details. I'm ignoring it for now. Just for today. Then I go back to my normal schedule until Friday, when Fernando leaves for Mexico for a week and I take his place getting up early. Yucky!

It's What You Do To Me

Hey! Here are some good pics of testing I do at my new job!

Pretty bizarre looking, eh?

Black Holes and Revelations

Had to go back to my old job today to pick up a check from San Ramon. 'Twas weird being there on the other side of things - picking up a check as opposed to cutting the check. It was a year ago in April that I moved over to the lab. I'd say that I don't miss that awful desk job pushing papers, but I kind of do. It was definitely easier in the sense that I wasn't lifting heavy things, unless a huge stack of paper counts as "heavy." Everyone who was still there seemed pretty excited to see me. So that was nice. I got some big hugs and good lucks (for going back to school). I even got the latest gossip. Girl/office gossip is so much different than boy/lab gossip! My old Accounts Payable boss wants me to report the happenings described previously about my now old Met Lab boss to the President of the company so that some action will be taken to correct his behavior. Since the big boss here in Oak-town isn't going to do anything drastic himself. She said she'd put something together and show me before she brings it up to the Pres. She doesn't want to do anything I wouldn't agree to. On the one hand, I think it's a good idea. It's awesome that she's got my back, still, even though I left her for the lab... on the other hand, do I want to go over anyone's head that I would have to see everyday? I dunno. She claims it's a law-suit waiting to happen. And she's right. I could probably sue the company for harrassment. I wouldn't, but I could. So maybe getting the President involved is the right thing to do in this case. So it doesn't happen again to someone who might sue the company. Plus, he likes me. If he knew that I was treated badly, he wouldn't be pleased. At all. What do you guys think? Should I do something?

See You on the Dark Side of the Moon

I've decided to try to design a workout schedule in the hopes that I will actually abide by it. For the last week and a half, it has worked.
Monday: Gym - Elliptical 35 minutes + Weight Resistance 10 minutes
Tuesday: Soccer with the peeps - 1-2 hours
Wednesday: Yoga with Jessa - 1.5 hours
Thursday: Gym - Elliptical 35 minutes + Weight Resistance 10 minutes
Friday: Work-out at home - arms and abs 10 minutes each
Saturday: Gym - Elliptical 35 minutes + Weight Resistance 10 minutes
Sunday: Off
Plus hiking thrown in there when I'm so inclined to do so. Yoga tonight! If I can push through my sore ass leg muscles from soccer last night - good turn out! 6 on 6 made for an excellent game :)

Yum Yum In My Tum Tum

Make these whence you have time. They are easy and delicious! Thanks, Food Network!
Let me know if you like these recipes as much as I did!!!


Anytime Vegetable Salad
Recipe courtesy Giada De Laurentiis
Show:
Everyday Italian
Episode:
Personal Chef

2 cups shelled edamame soy beans
8 ounces thin green beans, trimmed
8 ounces yellow wax beans, trimmed
1 1/2 cups cherry tomatoes, halved
1/3 cup red wine vinegar
3 tablespoons extra-virgin olive oil
2 teaspoons chopped fresh basil or tarragon leaves
2 teaspoons chopped fresh thyme leaves
1 teaspoon salt
3/4 teaspoon freshly ground black pepper

Cook the edamame in a large pot of boiling water until crisp-tender, about 3 minutes. Drain. Rinse with cold water, then drain well and pat dry. Repeat with the green beans and yellow beans. Combine the vegetables in a bowl.

Add the vinegar, oil, herbs, 1 teaspoon of salt, and 3/4 teaspoon pepper to a glass screw-top jar. Seal the jar and shake vigorously to mix the vinaigrette.

When you're ready to serve, shake the jar again to re-mix the vinaigrette and pour it over the vegetables. Season with more salt and pepper, if desired.


Cheese Tortellini in Light Broth (I used Pesto Tortellini from Trader Joe's)
Recipe courtesy Giada De Laurentiis
Show:
Everyday Italian
Episode:
Weekend Lunch


8 cups low-salt chicken broth
Freshly ground black pepper
2 (9-ounce) packages refrigerated cheese tortellini
2 tablespoons chopped fresh Italian parsley leaves

Pour the broth into a heavy large saucepan. Cover and bring to a boil over high heat. Season the broth with pepper, to taste. Add the tortellini. Simmer over medium heat until al dente, about 7 minutes.

Ladle the broth and tortellini into soup bowls. Top with parsley and Parmesan crisps and serve.

Parmesan Crisps: 1/2 cup grated Parmesan

Preheat oven to 400 degrees F.

Pour a heaping tablespoon of Parmesan onto a silicone or parchment lined baking sheet and lightly pat down. A silicone baking sheet is highly recommended. Repeat with the remaining cheese, spacing the spoonfuls about a 1/2 inch apart.

Bake for 3 to 5 minutes or until golden and crisp. Cool.

Yield: 8 to 10 crisps