Super-smasher targets massive mystery
Chapter 1: Particle collider comes close to the big bang on a small scale
By Alan Boyle
Science editor
MSNBC
updated 2:12 p.m. ET Sept. 8, 2008
MEYRIN, Switzerland - In the beginning was the big bang.
God may have been around before then — but as far as scientists are concerned, the big bang is as far back as they can go. And to get back there, they're getting ready to blast subatomic particles so energetically that the extreme conditions of the freshly born universe will be re-created on Earth.
Will those "little big bangs" crack age-old scientific mysteries? Or, despite repeated assurances from the world's top experts, will they create black holes that could gobble up the planet? After decades of preparation, scientists are finally switching on a machine that will separate the facts from what is plainly science fiction.
The machine is the $10 billion Large Hadron Collider, or LHC — the most powerful, most expensive particle-blaster ever invented. On Wednesday, Europe's CERN particle-physics lab is due to start shooting beams of protons through the LHC's 17-mile-round (27-kilometer-round) ring of tunnels beneath the French-Swiss border.
It will take months for the machine to reach full power. But eventually, those protons will be whipped up to 99.999999 percent of the speed of light, slamming together with the energy of two bullet trains colliding head-on. Underground detectors as big as cathedrals will track the subatomic wreckage on a time scale of billionths of a second. Billions of bits of data will be sent out every second for analysis.
As big as the numbers surrounding the LHC are, the mysteries it was built to address are bigger:
* What was the newborn universe made of?
* What causes things to have mass?
* Why is most of that mass hidden?
* Where did all the antimatter go?
* Is our entire universe a mere sliver of all that is?
"The LHC is the most powerful microscope that's ever been built," said John Ellis, a theoretical physicist here at CERN. "It will be able to explore the inner structure of matter on a scale that is 10 times smaller than anyone's been able to do before."
Ellis said the LHC also serves as "the most powerful telescope ever built," even though it looks inward rather than outward.
"We know that the way elementary particles interacted with each other controlled the very early universe," he explained. "So with the LHC we are able to, in some sense, re-create the conditions that existed in the universe when it was just a fraction of a second old — the sort of thing that the optical telescopes just can't see."
What's the point?
Past experiments in particle physics have yielded scores of practical spin-offs, ranging from new medical therapies to high-tech industrial materials — and even the World Wide Web, which you're using to read this report. But the potential for spin-offs isn't why more than 10,000 researchers around the world are looking forward so anxiously to the LHC.
"People ever since the ancient Greeks – and probably a long time before that – have wanted to understand how matter is made up, how it behaves, where the universe comes from,” said Ellis, surrounded in his office by stacks of research papers. “And so we are responding to that continuing human urge.”
The quest is not without controversy: Scientists say there's a chance that the LHC could create microscopic black holes, a phenomenon never before observed on Earth. They hasten to add that the tiny singularities will instantly pop out of existence, but that hasn't stopped critics from trying to block the collider's startup. Two of the critics have filed suit in federal court in Hawaii, seeking the suspension of LHC operations until more studies are done.
Responding to the critics, CERN has issued a series of reports explaining why the LHC will pose no threat. Ellis was one of the report's authors. "If the LHC were to make microscopic black holes, it would be tremendously exciting — and no danger," he said.
The 62-year-old London native has spent more than half his life at CERN, delving into topics ranging from dark matter to the theory of everything. Once the LHC is up and running, he expects to find out whether the theories he and other physicists have developed over all those years lead to solid evidence — or lead to a scientific dead end.
“Theoretically, that would be the most interesting possibility, because it would really mean that we had to tear up our notebooks of the last 45 years and start more or less from scratch,” Ellis said.
The God Particle
The theory described in all those notebooks is known as the Standard Model, which ranks among the scientific world's most successful theories. The Standard Model lays out a menagerie of subatomic particles and their interactions — and provides the basis for inventions ranging from television sets to microwave ovens to nuclear bombs.
Only one elementary particle predicted by the Standard Model has not yet been detected: the Higgs boson, which is thought to interact with other particles to give them mass. Without the Higgs, the big bang might have been an insubstantial flash in the pan — all energy, and no mass. Or so the theory goes.
The elusive Higgs boson looms so large as a gap in the Standard Model that Nobel-winning physicist Leon Lederman wrote a book about it called "The God Particle." (He joked that he wanted to call it the "Goddamn Particle," but his editor wouldn't let him.)
"This is in some sense the holy grail of particle physics, to find this missing link in the Standard Model," Ellis said. "So that's one thing that we're really looking forward to with the LHC. In fact, back when we persuaded the politicians to stump up the money to build the thing, that's probably what we told them."
Not even the LHC will be able to spot the Higgs boson directly. Instead, physicists will have to infer its existence through an analysis of the other particles that should be created when it decays. It's not an easy task, but Ellis believes the evidence should turn up within a year or two of the machine's startup.
Even that won't mark the end of the quest. Ellis compared the Higgs boson to a doorway that should lead beyond the Standard Model.
"I don't think that the Higgs door, if you like, is just closing off the room, and there is nothing beyond," he said. "I believe there's going to be a lot more physics beyond. What it's going to be, I don't know. Maybe it's supersymmetry. Maybe space has additional dimensions. Maybe it's something that we haven't thought of yet. I certainly hope it's something we haven't thought of yet. It would be great to come across a real surprise."
But Ellis and his colleagues at CERN have two nagging concerns in the back of their minds: What if somebody else finds the magic door first? Or what if they spent all these billions of dollars and there's no Higgs particle at all?
A competitive twist
Fifteen years ago, when Leon Lederman wrote "The God Particle," he thought the Higgs boson would be found in the Superconducting Super Collider, a project that was just getting started in Texas. That machine would have been four times as powerful as the LHC — but when the costs started running far beyond the initial estimates, Congress killed the program.
Over the decade that followed, U.S. scientists weren't just waiting for the LHC to be built: The focus shifted to the Tevatron collider at Fermilab in Illinois, which theorists figured might have just enough punch to pick up the Higgs' trail.
Last year, researchers at Fermilab passed the word that they had found some interesting data — readings that hinted at the presence of the Higgs but weren't yet solid enough to publish. That added a competitive twist to the grail quest.
"The longer we wait, the higher the probability that Fermilab discovers something that we wouldn't mind discovering ourselves here," Jos Engelen, CERN's chief scientific officer and deputy director general, said last year.
Beyond the God Particle
What if physicists don't find the God Particle they are expecting to see? Ellis acknowledged that was a possibility. "This might be a little bit difficult to explain to our politicians, that here they gave us 10 billion of whatever, your favorite currency unit, and we didn't find the Higgs boson," he said.
But Ellis has faith that even then, there'd be something to discover — maybe something even weirder and more wonderful than the Higgs boson.
"Probably the most likely option then might be extra dimensions," Ellis said. "And there are some ideas where if you have some additional dimensions of space, you could somehow do the job that the Higgs does in the Standard Model."
For years, string theorists have noted that their equations come out better if they assume that the universe has nine or 10 spatial dimensions instead of the three we can perceive. The LHC could provide the first evidence of those extra dimensions: Some theorists say the collisions could produce anomalously heavy particles, suggesting that part of their momentum was going into the extradimensional realm. Harvard physicist Lisa Randall estimates that the LHC could nail down the evidence for extra dimensions in five years.
Other theorists have focused on the idea that every subatomic particle should have an as-yet-undetected "supersymmetric" partner that mirrors many of the characteristics of the particles we know, but is dramatically different in other respects. The partners would have greater masses and a different spin, for example.
To date, no actual evidence of supersymmetry has been found. But if supersymmetric particles don't exist, then a lot of the theories that look beyond the Standard Model would have to be thrown out.
If supersymmetric particles do exist, they could account for a large part of the universe's dark matter. That's the 90 percent of all matter that scientists can detect only by its gravitational effect — a puzzle that has bedeviled astronomers for decades. "There are good reasons to think that these dark matter particles, if they exist, will be observable in the LHC," Ellis said.
Exploring the big-bang frontier
One of the LHC's detectors, known as ALICE, is devoted to studying the stuff that the universe was made of less than a billionth of a second after the big bang. Earlier experiments have hinted that the stuff was a super-hot liquid consisting of subatomic particles known as quarks and gluons.
For one month out of every year, the LHC will switch from smashing protons to smashing heavy lead ions, in an effort to re-create that quark-gluon soup and let ALICE analyze the recipe.
Yet another detector, LHCb, will study the tracks of particles containing specific types of quarks and antiquarks. The Standard Model predicts that equal amounts of matter and antimatter should have been produced in the big bang — but today, we see hardly any antimatter in nature. That's a good thing, because matter and antimatter annihilate each other when they come in contact, leaving pure energy behind.
LHCb will follow up on earlier experiments that suggest matter won out over antimatter because they somehow decay in different ways.
And then there are the wild cards in the deck: Could the LHC really create black holes or exotic forms of matter? What about all these claims that the world is in peril?
Tuesday: Doomsday fears and futuristic dreams
© 2008 MSNBC Interactive
Monday, September 08, 2008
Friday, September 05, 2008
Shiny Disco Balls
Well, I made it through my first two weeks of school. Granted, only 2 of my 4 classes had already started, but I made it. So far, so good. First 2 homework assignments, done and done! Next week, I start the 2 harder graduate-level classes. So we'll see how chipper I am by this time next week haha.
I bought myself a laptop on Wednesday. I still don't have a car, but now I have pretty new electronical devices to play with! I converted over to Mac-land and got the cheapest of the MacBooks for $1099. Student discount of $100 so $999... plus an iTouch for free (after rebate = $299). So now I have a computer at my townhouse woohoo! I've been living there since April with no computer. Kinda lame. I didn't really have room for my desk and pc! Well, really I just didn't want to clutter up my space with the desk and pc. So now I can leave it at my dad's house for him to use plus I still have it should the need arise.
What about your car, you may ask... it's in the shop. My boss's brother's shop in Hayward. He verified on Wednesday that my engine does, indeed, need to be replaced. Yuckie. I was hoping that I only needed a new timing belt, but I was wrong. He quoted me $2875. I guess that's do-able. Only because I was gonna spend $3000 on a used car anyways.
And that's what's new with me this week.
I bought myself a laptop on Wednesday. I still don't have a car, but now I have pretty new electronical devices to play with! I converted over to Mac-land and got the cheapest of the MacBooks for $1099. Student discount of $100 so $999... plus an iTouch for free (after rebate = $299). So now I have a computer at my townhouse woohoo! I've been living there since April with no computer. Kinda lame. I didn't really have room for my desk and pc! Well, really I just didn't want to clutter up my space with the desk and pc. So now I can leave it at my dad's house for him to use plus I still have it should the need arise.
What about your car, you may ask... it's in the shop. My boss's brother's shop in Hayward. He verified on Wednesday that my engine does, indeed, need to be replaced. Yuckie. I was hoping that I only needed a new timing belt, but I was wrong. He quoted me $2875. I guess that's do-able. Only because I was gonna spend $3000 on a used car anyways.
And that's what's new with me this week.
Thursday, August 28, 2008
Who's Gonna Save My Soul?
Me? I is exhausted. Yesterday was not a happy day for me. I made it into work at 7, that part was semi-okay. Had my co-worker Russell give me a ride in. Then I left for BART at about 8:15 from another co-worker, Paula. Got to campus pretty early and had the worst white mocha possibly known to man. I think they burned the espresso or something. I drank it anyways, don't get me wrong.... but it was in no way as delicious as I would have hoped. Must be all new people working at the coffee place on campus now. Hopefully it'll be better next time, cuz I needs me the coffee to make it through class! So, class was from 10:10-11:00. Boring. But, since I've taken the class before (at CSUH, from my least fave teacher), I'd expect no better than boring. That's a good sign, really. We'll just see how I do otherwise. After class, I was walking to the elevator and my freakin' arch-nemesis was standing there. I just kept on walking. What I really wanted to do was stop and scream in her face and then keep walking, but I thought better of myself, as the hall was pretty crowded with people. So I took the stairs instead. Barf. Not the best way to start my semester, let me tell you. So I went outside for a smoke and called the boy to calm my nerves from seeing her, mostly so I wouldn't start hysterically crying. He didn't answer, but he did call me back later. Thank goodness. I didn't want to keep that pent up rage/anger/misery inside for too long and all of my good school friends weren't on campus (since they're not re-taking that class like I am). Anyways, hopped on BART and made it back to Oakland at noon where I really didn't want to walk to work. Called another co-worker, Memo, to see if he was going out for lunch and if he could swoop me up when he did so. Met him at Subway and made it back to work a little before 1. Searched for work to do.... which was a little disconcerting since I came all the way back from school to work and I really had nothing to do. Got another co-worker, Richard, to give me a ride back to BART at 3:30. Had GRE Prep class at 5:10. Kinda interesting. Short lecture on Laboratory Techniques: standard deviation vs. uncertainty, graphing Bell's curve and log-log and semi-log plots... etc. Was outta there at about 6. Waited for my friend Aariel to show up on campus to say hi. It's nice to know someone outside of the physics department! After she was off to class, I got in line for the shuttle back to BART. And I waited. And I waited. And I waited. I'm pretty sure there was only the one shuttle bus. So I waited for about an hour. All I wanted to do at this point (about 7 now) was go home and curl up into a ball and pass the eff out. But no. Instead, I waited. For so long. I could have walked it faster than that. If you could walk on the freeway, of course. Anyways, finally got to BART at 8 and was on a train back to the CV within 5 minutes. The ride is about another hour, in which my phone was about to die. I was trying to hold onto it's life for as long as possible so I could get picked up from CV BART when I got there. Luckily, my roommate was there waiting when I pulled in about 9. Got home, charged my phone. Ryan was so worried about me because he called and called while my phone was off/dead. He came over and gave me hugs and kisses galore and held me until I fell asleep. I fall asleep so much faster when he is with me. Maybe my brain doesn't go a mile a minute when he's there. Either way, I was out by 11.
Never again.
I am officially taking Wednesdays off of work and staying on campus the whole day. Which means I'll be working on Saturdays which I am less than thrilled about, but what can you do? I can't commute back and forth like that. It was just too damn much.
Never again.
I am officially taking Wednesdays off of work and staying on campus the whole day. Which means I'll be working on Saturdays which I am less than thrilled about, but what can you do? I can't commute back and forth like that. It was just too damn much.
Tuesday, August 26, 2008
Leaving On A Jetplane
I'm gonna need a jetplane for this school schedule I got this semester. Starting tomorrow. Woot. I can't even contain my excitement. Here it is. Laugh at me, please. So's I won't cry.
Monday/Friday:
Work 7-8:15 am
BART/Bus to campus 8:20-9:45
Undergrad Electromagnetism II 10:10-11:00
Bus/BART to Oakland 11:30-12:30
Work 12:30-5
Tuesday/Thursday:
Work 7-3:30
BART/Bus to campus 3:30-4:45
Grad Statistical Mechanics 5-6:30
Bus/BART to Castro Valley/Oakland
Wednesday:
Work 7-8:15 am
BART/Bus to campus 8:20-9:45
Undergrad Electromagnetism II 10:10-11:00
Bus/BART to Oakland 11:30-12:30
Work 12:30-3:30
BART/Bus to campus 3:30-4:45
Physics GRE Prep Course 5:00-???
Bus/BART to Castro Valley/Oakland (wherever my non-existent car is)
Somewhere in there is homework and independent study in General Relativity...
Shoot me now.
Monday/Friday:
Work 7-8:15 am
BART/Bus to campus 8:20-9:45
Undergrad Electromagnetism II 10:10-11:00
Bus/BART to Oakland 11:30-12:30
Work 12:30-5
Tuesday/Thursday:
Work 7-3:30
BART/Bus to campus 3:30-4:45
Grad Statistical Mechanics 5-6:30
Bus/BART to Castro Valley/Oakland
Wednesday:
Work 7-8:15 am
BART/Bus to campus 8:20-9:45
Undergrad Electromagnetism II 10:10-11:00
Bus/BART to Oakland 11:30-12:30
Work 12:30-3:30
BART/Bus to campus 3:30-4:45
Physics GRE Prep Course 5:00-???
Bus/BART to Castro Valley/Oakland (wherever my non-existent car is)
Somewhere in there is homework and independent study in General Relativity...
Shoot me now.
Monday, August 25, 2008
Butterflies and Hurricanes
And just when I thought that things couldn't get any better... Ryan took me away for the weekend. I'm pretty sure he's officially the best boyfriend ever. I've decided to nickname him bbe for short. Not as cute as his for me... he calls me Sarah Star or his Shiny Star. I wanted to call him the Ry-meister because he love love loves Jagermeister, but he said that makes him sound too much like an alcoholic. He's probably right.
Anyways, the weekend... awesome!!! He called me when I was on my way home from work on Friday afternoon to see if I wanted to go away with him and I said a hundred times yes! I start school on Wednesday and didn't really do too much all summer, so I figured what the hell. Who needs to go car shopping when there is fun to be had? He wanted to go home and take a nap before heading out (so as to also miss traffic times), said he'd call me. He did call me... at 1 in the morning. He also loves to sleep, I may have failed to mention that. I was pretty mad. I canceled all my other fun plans for Friday night (poker night with the peeps) since I had no car and wound up doing nothing on Friday night until Ry came over. I hate being mad at him. It's too hard! Especially when he comes over to make things better. I want to just be like, "whatever, it doesn't matter anymore." But then it keeps on happening! This was not the first time that he's basically kept me waiting all night because he wanted to take an 8 hour "nap" after work. I don't want to be pessimistic and just always assume he will flake on me, but at the same time, I don't want to sit at home alone on a Friday night on my last free weekend before school starts!
Needless to say, he did come over and made things right with me when he did wake up. And we were on our way to Tahoe on Saturday morning. Yay for weekends with boys! We had so much fun! On our way up, we stopped and had the best burger ever at a place called Moo-Moo's. Yum-o! When we got there, we went to a few casinos to see how much a room would be. The first place said $450. Yep, you read that right. $450. Holy shiat. And no, thank you. The next place said $299, and they were at 107%, so we moved on. To the parking lot. Where we went online to Orbitz to book a room from his phone. Got a room, semi-close-by, for $150. Showered and changed. Then to the gambling. Where we both lost kind of a lot of money on Blackjack, Roulette, and Hold 'Em. But we had fun losing it! And got slightly drunk off of free drinks in the interim. Dinner was sushi. Hecka yummy sushi, mind you. On the walk back to the hotel, we stopped for some beer and Jager and snacks. And the rest of the night I will leave to your imagination. But it was fun. In case you were wondering.
Sunday, we woke up, checked out of the hotel, and had some breakfast. Gambled a little bit more. Just enough for me to lose my money and for Ry to almost make up for what I lost. Then he took me to Emerald Bay. It was so beautiful. I had never actually been to Tahoe in the summertime, and it was amazing. It was hot, which seemed a little weird to me... like 85-90 degrees outside and shit. But we hiked down the 1 mile slope to the beach below. There's some weird Viking house there. The water was pretty cold, but felt really good on the footsies after hiking in the sun. We wandered around a bit down there before hiking back up in the sun. And then we headed back for home. Stopped for dinner at Chevy's. Grabbed a couple movies from Blockbuster. Passed out pretty early, after watching The Bank Job.
So yeah! BBE! Best Boyfriend Ever. I finally found a guy who can take care of me. And wants to. I can hang out with him as a friend and be intimate with him when we are alone. And either way, he makes me happy. And stress-free. Until Wednesday. Today, he's picking me up from work to go and look at cars when he is off work. Hopefully we find something good. I'm already sick of looking for rides and it's only been one day.
Happy Monday!
*S*
Anyways, the weekend... awesome!!! He called me when I was on my way home from work on Friday afternoon to see if I wanted to go away with him and I said a hundred times yes! I start school on Wednesday and didn't really do too much all summer, so I figured what the hell. Who needs to go car shopping when there is fun to be had? He wanted to go home and take a nap before heading out (so as to also miss traffic times), said he'd call me. He did call me... at 1 in the morning. He also loves to sleep, I may have failed to mention that. I was pretty mad. I canceled all my other fun plans for Friday night (poker night with the peeps) since I had no car and wound up doing nothing on Friday night until Ry came over. I hate being mad at him. It's too hard! Especially when he comes over to make things better. I want to just be like, "whatever, it doesn't matter anymore." But then it keeps on happening! This was not the first time that he's basically kept me waiting all night because he wanted to take an 8 hour "nap" after work. I don't want to be pessimistic and just always assume he will flake on me, but at the same time, I don't want to sit at home alone on a Friday night on my last free weekend before school starts!
Needless to say, he did come over and made things right with me when he did wake up. And we were on our way to Tahoe on Saturday morning. Yay for weekends with boys! We had so much fun! On our way up, we stopped and had the best burger ever at a place called Moo-Moo's. Yum-o! When we got there, we went to a few casinos to see how much a room would be. The first place said $450. Yep, you read that right. $450. Holy shiat. And no, thank you. The next place said $299, and they were at 107%, so we moved on. To the parking lot. Where we went online to Orbitz to book a room from his phone. Got a room, semi-close-by, for $150. Showered and changed. Then to the gambling. Where we both lost kind of a lot of money on Blackjack, Roulette, and Hold 'Em. But we had fun losing it! And got slightly drunk off of free drinks in the interim. Dinner was sushi. Hecka yummy sushi, mind you. On the walk back to the hotel, we stopped for some beer and Jager and snacks. And the rest of the night I will leave to your imagination. But it was fun. In case you were wondering.
Sunday, we woke up, checked out of the hotel, and had some breakfast. Gambled a little bit more. Just enough for me to lose my money and for Ry to almost make up for what I lost. Then he took me to Emerald Bay. It was so beautiful. I had never actually been to Tahoe in the summertime, and it was amazing. It was hot, which seemed a little weird to me... like 85-90 degrees outside and shit. But we hiked down the 1 mile slope to the beach below. There's some weird Viking house there. The water was pretty cold, but felt really good on the footsies after hiking in the sun. We wandered around a bit down there before hiking back up in the sun. And then we headed back for home. Stopped for dinner at Chevy's. Grabbed a couple movies from Blockbuster. Passed out pretty early, after watching The Bank Job.
So yeah! BBE! Best Boyfriend Ever. I finally found a guy who can take care of me. And wants to. I can hang out with him as a friend and be intimate with him when we are alone. And either way, he makes me happy. And stress-free. Until Wednesday. Today, he's picking me up from work to go and look at cars when he is off work. Hopefully we find something good. I'm already sick of looking for rides and it's only been one day.
Happy Monday!
*S*
Friday, August 22, 2008
Won't You Smile Awhile For Me...
It's been brought to my attention that I haven't updated the status with the boy in a good while... so why not now, before I start school and go back into hibernation:
Status: EXCELLENT!
I couldn't be happier right now, to be perfectly honest. I can't say it hasn't been the smoothest ride up until this point, but I feel like I can be patient, when the need arises. Maybe because my feelings for him are so strong. Maybe because I am growing as a person. Who knows... either way, as of today I am completely content. I'm not worried. I don't doubt his feelings for me. I feel great, really.
He scared me for a little while. I'm not sure why he doubted my feelings for him... something to work on, I guess. Maybe after it was all said and done, he realized that he doesn't need to doubt me. I hope so. Something in my gut told me to believe him, to trust him, and now everything is better. Insert big smiley face here.
He's been terrific to me through all my car drama. So supportive. I'm not sure he knows how much it's meant to me the last week that he's been here for me. With me. Taking care of me, really. I try so hard to be a strong, independent woman, but sometimes it's just nice to have an even stronger shoulder to cry on and lament to. And he's provided that. He makes me goo. I melt still every time I see him. Little puddles of Sarah goo. I know Sierra knows what I'm talking about. It's so nice that we both can be goo simultaneously! That never happens! And Becky is goo too. She's engaged, even. My little sissy, all growed up. Tear.
So, question: Should the one year mark be the day we met, or the day we were official? How do you guys determine it?
Really, it doesn't matter. I am trying to live each day new. At least for now. It's kinda nice, really. Especially when I get to wake up in his arms. I almost forgot that feeling. Safe. Happy.
And just in time for school, when all these feelings of contentment will become stripped of me. Yay. :( Let the stress begin.
Status: EXCELLENT!
I couldn't be happier right now, to be perfectly honest. I can't say it hasn't been the smoothest ride up until this point, but I feel like I can be patient, when the need arises. Maybe because my feelings for him are so strong. Maybe because I am growing as a person. Who knows... either way, as of today I am completely content. I'm not worried. I don't doubt his feelings for me. I feel great, really.
He scared me for a little while. I'm not sure why he doubted my feelings for him... something to work on, I guess. Maybe after it was all said and done, he realized that he doesn't need to doubt me. I hope so. Something in my gut told me to believe him, to trust him, and now everything is better. Insert big smiley face here.
He's been terrific to me through all my car drama. So supportive. I'm not sure he knows how much it's meant to me the last week that he's been here for me. With me. Taking care of me, really. I try so hard to be a strong, independent woman, but sometimes it's just nice to have an even stronger shoulder to cry on and lament to. And he's provided that. He makes me goo. I melt still every time I see him. Little puddles of Sarah goo. I know Sierra knows what I'm talking about. It's so nice that we both can be goo simultaneously! That never happens! And Becky is goo too. She's engaged, even. My little sissy, all growed up. Tear.
So, question: Should the one year mark be the day we met, or the day we were official? How do you guys determine it?
Really, it doesn't matter. I am trying to live each day new. At least for now. It's kinda nice, really. Especially when I get to wake up in his arms. I almost forgot that feeling. Safe. Happy.
And just in time for school, when all these feelings of contentment will become stripped of me. Yay. :( Let the stress begin.
Monday, August 18, 2008
Honking Antelopes
Well, it's pretty much official. The Kia is dead. I can't say it wasn't my fault, it probably was. Here's what happened:
Last Thursday, on my way home from work on 880, my car randomly turned off. Thankfully, there was a bit of traffic (880 + rush hour = poop), so I managed to coast across the 3 lanes to the off ramp shoulder. Did I pee my pant anyways? Just about. It was stop and go, so as I was about to go, there was nothing. My radio was still on, but no car power otherwise. WTF?!?!?!? I looked down and the car was dead. Tried to restart to no avail. Turned on my hazards and my blinker and was able to coast safely to the side of the freeway. I called my dad, shaking... then called AAA for a tow. Told them I would tow it to the Kia dealership, since that was the closest place I could think of to take it from my location on Marina Blvd. So, I called Kia to let them know I was coming when the Freeway Patrol Service stopped by to see if I needed help: gas, a jump start, etc. They were able to tow me off the freeway to a drop location, which turned out to be almost as far as the dealership, but in the opposite direction. Whatever. My dad picked my up from the dealership which at this point was closed.
On Saturday, while I was at my company picnic, they called and left me a voicemail to say that my timing belt had stripped, causing my engine to seize. :( Now here's the zinger: this is still covered under my warranty if I could show receipts that I got the 60,000 and 90,000 mile check ups, proving that my timing belt had been checked out as a preventative measure. Which I didn't do. So, it was probably my fault the whole thing happened! Stupid me!!! I had my stupid clutch replaced at 70,000 miles, you would think that might count for something.... we'll see if it does. I haven't called them back yet. But really? I am not putting any more money into that stupid car. I'd rather spend the money on a car that can get me through the next year of school, at least. Then I can get the car that I really want, after I finally start my career.
I hate being so dependent on cars. Now I don't know what to do. I start school next Tuesday, so that doesn't leave me much time to get my shit together. Today I will go by the dealership and see exactly how much it would cost to fix and if its more than $1000, which it will be, I guess I'll get a new car. Actually, my dad took me down Auto Row yesterday to look at some options, and there was a nice looking Nissan for $3000 that was a stick. I want to get a diagnostic on it before anything else, but I'm not sure how that works. "Hey, car salesman, can I borrow this car for a few hours to get a diagnostic?" Will they let me?
And then there's still the problem with the Kia being at the dealership. I'm sure they're going to make me take it away. Where the hell do I take it? What am I supposed to do with a car that doesn't have a working engine?
Argh! What the hell did I do to Karma to deserve this one? Have I been too happy lately or something???
Le sigh.
Last Thursday, on my way home from work on 880, my car randomly turned off. Thankfully, there was a bit of traffic (880 + rush hour = poop), so I managed to coast across the 3 lanes to the off ramp shoulder. Did I pee my pant anyways? Just about. It was stop and go, so as I was about to go, there was nothing. My radio was still on, but no car power otherwise. WTF?!?!?!? I looked down and the car was dead. Tried to restart to no avail. Turned on my hazards and my blinker and was able to coast safely to the side of the freeway. I called my dad, shaking... then called AAA for a tow. Told them I would tow it to the Kia dealership, since that was the closest place I could think of to take it from my location on Marina Blvd. So, I called Kia to let them know I was coming when the Freeway Patrol Service stopped by to see if I needed help: gas, a jump start, etc. They were able to tow me off the freeway to a drop location, which turned out to be almost as far as the dealership, but in the opposite direction. Whatever. My dad picked my up from the dealership which at this point was closed.
On Saturday, while I was at my company picnic, they called and left me a voicemail to say that my timing belt had stripped, causing my engine to seize. :( Now here's the zinger: this is still covered under my warranty if I could show receipts that I got the 60,000 and 90,000 mile check ups, proving that my timing belt had been checked out as a preventative measure. Which I didn't do. So, it was probably my fault the whole thing happened! Stupid me!!! I had my stupid clutch replaced at 70,000 miles, you would think that might count for something.... we'll see if it does. I haven't called them back yet. But really? I am not putting any more money into that stupid car. I'd rather spend the money on a car that can get me through the next year of school, at least. Then I can get the car that I really want, after I finally start my career.
I hate being so dependent on cars. Now I don't know what to do. I start school next Tuesday, so that doesn't leave me much time to get my shit together. Today I will go by the dealership and see exactly how much it would cost to fix and if its more than $1000, which it will be, I guess I'll get a new car. Actually, my dad took me down Auto Row yesterday to look at some options, and there was a nice looking Nissan for $3000 that was a stick. I want to get a diagnostic on it before anything else, but I'm not sure how that works. "Hey, car salesman, can I borrow this car for a few hours to get a diagnostic?" Will they let me?
And then there's still the problem with the Kia being at the dealership. I'm sure they're going to make me take it away. Where the hell do I take it? What am I supposed to do with a car that doesn't have a working engine?
Argh! What the hell did I do to Karma to deserve this one? Have I been too happy lately or something???
Le sigh.
Wednesday, July 23, 2008
Why I'm Not Practicing...
Woman stabs herself during Wiccan ceremony
Accident happens during good-luck ritual
updated 3:24 p.m. MT, Tues., July. 22, 2008
LEBANON, Ind. - A woman accidentally stabbed herself in the foot with a 3-foot-long sword while performing a Wiccan good luck ritual at a cemetery in central Indiana.
Katherine Gunther, 36, of Lebanon, pierced her left foot with the sword while performing the rite at Oak Hill Cemetery, police said.
Gunther said she was performing the ceremony to give thanks for a recent run of good luck. The ceremony involves the use of candles, incense and driving swords into the ground during the full moon.
Gunther said was aiming to put the sword in the ground, but hit her foot instead.
"It wasn't the first time I performed the ritual, but it was the first time I put a sword through my foot," she said.
Gunther immediately pulled the sword out of her foot, and her companions took her to Witham Memorial Hospital, where she was kept a couple days for treatment.
No charges were filed, police said. The Wiccans were warned that being in the cemetery in the city about 20 miles northwest of Indianapolis after posted visiting hours constitutes trespassing.
Wicca is a nature-based religion based on respect for the earth, nature and the cycle of the seasons.
Accident happens during good-luck ritual
updated 3:24 p.m. MT, Tues., July. 22, 2008
LEBANON, Ind. - A woman accidentally stabbed herself in the foot with a 3-foot-long sword while performing a Wiccan good luck ritual at a cemetery in central Indiana.
Katherine Gunther, 36, of Lebanon, pierced her left foot with the sword while performing the rite at Oak Hill Cemetery, police said.
Gunther said she was performing the ceremony to give thanks for a recent run of good luck. The ceremony involves the use of candles, incense and driving swords into the ground during the full moon.
Gunther said was aiming to put the sword in the ground, but hit her foot instead.
"It wasn't the first time I performed the ritual, but it was the first time I put a sword through my foot," she said.
Gunther immediately pulled the sword out of her foot, and her companions took her to Witham Memorial Hospital, where she was kept a couple days for treatment.
No charges were filed, police said. The Wiccans were warned that being in the cemetery in the city about 20 miles northwest of Indianapolis after posted visiting hours constitutes trespassing.
Wicca is a nature-based religion based on respect for the earth, nature and the cycle of the seasons.
Thursday, July 03, 2008
10,000 Days
Sierra: Yay for awesome hikes
me: i know! it was perfect weather yesterday
Sent at 10:23 AM on Thursday
me: we had to walk past a huge group of cows
i was scared
pretty sad, i know
Sierra: why were you scared of the cows?
Have you been bum rushed by cows before?
me: no but there were so many of them!
they could totally crush me by head butting me or something
:-o
Sierra: OK
LOL
you are funny
me: have you ever had to walk past cows before?
theyre intimidating, man!
Sierra: lol
Um yeah but I think usually they are behind a fence
One day all the grazing cows came over to watch me run by it was cute
Sent at 10:32 AM on Thursday
me: these guys were in the pathway
like 10 of them
all staring at us with their dead eyes
Sierra: did you find it creepy?
me: i wanted to run
do you think cows can sense fear?
or are they too stupid?
Sierra: I dunno
lol
I would be afraid to run
me: i was wearing red too
i think that's a myth
and they were all girl cows
Sierra: I think it's ok as long as they wern't bulls
hee hee hee
me: i know! it was perfect weather yesterday
Sent at 10:23 AM on Thursday
me: we had to walk past a huge group of cows
i was scared
pretty sad, i know
Sierra: why were you scared of the cows?
Have you been bum rushed by cows before?
me: no but there were so many of them!
they could totally crush me by head butting me or something
:-o
Sierra: OK
LOL
you are funny
me: have you ever had to walk past cows before?
theyre intimidating, man!
Sierra: lol
Um yeah but I think usually they are behind a fence
One day all the grazing cows came over to watch me run by it was cute
Sent at 10:32 AM on Thursday
me: these guys were in the pathway
like 10 of them
all staring at us with their dead eyes
Sierra: did you find it creepy?
me: i wanted to run
do you think cows can sense fear?
or are they too stupid?
Sierra: I dunno
lol
I would be afraid to run
me: i was wearing red too
i think that's a myth
and they were all girl cows
Sierra: I think it's ok as long as they wern't bulls
hee hee hee
Monday, June 02, 2008
Eating Seeds As A Pastime Activity
The results are in:
I am no longer on academic probation.
Phew.
And thank goodness!
The official grades are:
Quantum Mechanics = B+
Astrophysics = A-
Total GPA = 3.17
Woooooo! I mean, it's not anything to write home about and it won't get me into any ph.d programs, but it gives me a wee amount of breathing room for next semester. In which I am taking Statistical Mechanics, Undergrad E&M II (retaking it since I learned zippo the first time 'round and I have to take a grad level E&M class in the spring), GRE Physics Prep Class (have to pass the GRE with 25th %ile or better in order to graduate), and General Relativity (taken credit/no credit only since it'll be independent study). So um yeah. I'll be a busy busy bee next year if I want to graduate next May. Honestly? We'll see what happens.
So.. since school is over, I have not much else to report. Work is lame since the economy is not so good right now. So I am not allowed to help with testing in the lab for the time being so that the lab guys have enough work to do... but that means I am working only on reports which can get tedious and old pretty fast. Plus, it depends on what those lab guys are doing on how much work I have since I pretty much get paid to make their test results look presentable. Whatevs. At least it pays the bills. I just hit my 4 year mark with the company and haven't had a raise in over a year... but I doubt I can ask for one due to afore-mentioned economy crisis. C'mon economy! Pick it up! People! Start building things again! Sarah needs something to do this summer!
Enough with the rant.
I am no longer on academic probation.
Phew.
And thank goodness!
The official grades are:
Quantum Mechanics = B+
Astrophysics = A-
Total GPA = 3.17
Woooooo! I mean, it's not anything to write home about and it won't get me into any ph.d programs, but it gives me a wee amount of breathing room for next semester. In which I am taking Statistical Mechanics, Undergrad E&M II (retaking it since I learned zippo the first time 'round and I have to take a grad level E&M class in the spring), GRE Physics Prep Class (have to pass the GRE with 25th %ile or better in order to graduate), and General Relativity (taken credit/no credit only since it'll be independent study). So um yeah. I'll be a busy busy bee next year if I want to graduate next May. Honestly? We'll see what happens.
So.. since school is over, I have not much else to report. Work is lame since the economy is not so good right now. So I am not allowed to help with testing in the lab for the time being so that the lab guys have enough work to do... but that means I am working only on reports which can get tedious and old pretty fast. Plus, it depends on what those lab guys are doing on how much work I have since I pretty much get paid to make their test results look presentable. Whatevs. At least it pays the bills. I just hit my 4 year mark with the company and haven't had a raise in over a year... but I doubt I can ask for one due to afore-mentioned economy crisis. C'mon economy! Pick it up! People! Start building things again! Sarah needs something to do this summer!
Enough with the rant.
Friday, May 16, 2008
If I Can't Have You, I Don't Want Nobody, Baby!
So... the quantum grade is in already and it's a B+. I'm ever so slightly disappointed. I was really hoping on, nay, counting on an A or at least an A-. You know, that whole academic probation thing is still hanging over my head. Granted, the B+ brings up my GPA to a 3.0, the minimum I am allowed as a grad student. What does that mean? I have no cushion. That means I have to get a B or better in my Astro calss. Sad face. I was really wanting to do extra well this semester so I wouldn't have to worry about this anymore! Argh!
On a lighter note, here's an interesting article from msn.com:
Einstein's 'God' letter fetches $400,000
He dismissed belief as product of human weakness, called Bible 'childish'
LONDON - A letter in which Albert Einstein dismissed the idea of God as the product of human weakness and the Bible as "pretty childish" has sold at auction for more than $400,000.
Bloomsbury Auctions said Friday that the handwritten letter sold to an overseas collector after frenetic bidding late Thursday in London. The sale price of $404,000, including the buyer's premium, was more than 25 times the pre-sale estimate.
Bloomsbury did not identify the buyer, but managing director Rupert Powell said it was someone with "a passion for theoretical physics and all that that entails."
"This extraordinary letter seemed to strike a chord, and it gave a deep personal insight one of the greatest minds of the 20th century," Powell said.
The letter was written to philosopher Eric Gutkind in January 1954, a year before Einstein's death. In it, the Einstein said that "the word God is for me nothing more than the expression and product of human weaknesses, the Bible a collection of honorable but still primitive legends which are nevertheless pretty childish."
"For me," he added, "the Jewish religion like all other religions is an incarnation of the most childish superstitions."
Addressing the idea that the Jews are God's chosen people, Einstein wrote that "the Jewish people to whom I gladly belong and with whose mentality I have a deep affinity have no different quality for me than all other people. As far as my experience goes, they are also no better than other human groups, although they are protected from the worst cancers by a lack of power. Otherwise I cannot see anything 'chosen' about them."
Bloomsbury spokesman Richard Caton said the auction house was "100 percent certain" of the letter's authenticity. It was offered at auction for the first time, by a private vendor.
'Rather quirky about religion'
Einstein experts say the letter supports the argument that the physicist held complex, agnostic views on religion. He rejected organized faith but often spoke of a spiritual force at work in the universe.
John Brooke, emeritus professor of science and religion at Oxford University, said the letter lends weight to the notion that "Einstein was not a conventional theist" — although he was not an atheist, either.
"Like many great scientists of the past, he is rather quirky about religion, and not always consistent from one period to another," Brooke said.
Born to a Jewish family in Germany in 1879, Einstein said he went through a devout phase as a child before beginning to question conventional religion at the age of 12.
In later life, he expressed a sense of wonder at the universe and its mysteries — what he called a "cosmic religious feeling" — and famously said: "Science without religion is lame, religion without science is blind."
But he also said: "I do not believe in the God of theology who rewards good and punishes evil. My God created laws that take care of that. His universe is not ruled by wishful thinking, but by immutable laws."
Brooke said Einstein believed that "there is some kind of intelligence working its way through nature. But it is certainly not a conventional Christian or Judaic religious view."
Einstein's most famous legacy is the special theory of relativity, which makes the point that a large amount of energy could be released from a tiny amount of matter, as expressed in the equation e=mc2 (energy equals mass times the speed of light squared). The theory changed the face of physics, allowing scientists to make predictions about space and paving the way for nuclear power and the atomic bomb.
Einstein's musings on science, war, peace and God helped make him world famous, and his scientific legacy prompted Time magazine to name him its Person of the 20th Century.
On a lighter note, here's an interesting article from msn.com:
Einstein's 'God' letter fetches $400,000
He dismissed belief as product of human weakness, called Bible 'childish'
LONDON - A letter in which Albert Einstein dismissed the idea of God as the product of human weakness and the Bible as "pretty childish" has sold at auction for more than $400,000.
Bloomsbury Auctions said Friday that the handwritten letter sold to an overseas collector after frenetic bidding late Thursday in London. The sale price of $404,000, including the buyer's premium, was more than 25 times the pre-sale estimate.
Bloomsbury did not identify the buyer, but managing director Rupert Powell said it was someone with "a passion for theoretical physics and all that that entails."
"This extraordinary letter seemed to strike a chord, and it gave a deep personal insight one of the greatest minds of the 20th century," Powell said.
The letter was written to philosopher Eric Gutkind in January 1954, a year before Einstein's death. In it, the Einstein said that "the word God is for me nothing more than the expression and product of human weaknesses, the Bible a collection of honorable but still primitive legends which are nevertheless pretty childish."
"For me," he added, "the Jewish religion like all other religions is an incarnation of the most childish superstitions."
Addressing the idea that the Jews are God's chosen people, Einstein wrote that "the Jewish people to whom I gladly belong and with whose mentality I have a deep affinity have no different quality for me than all other people. As far as my experience goes, they are also no better than other human groups, although they are protected from the worst cancers by a lack of power. Otherwise I cannot see anything 'chosen' about them."
Bloomsbury spokesman Richard Caton said the auction house was "100 percent certain" of the letter's authenticity. It was offered at auction for the first time, by a private vendor.
'Rather quirky about religion'
Einstein experts say the letter supports the argument that the physicist held complex, agnostic views on religion. He rejected organized faith but often spoke of a spiritual force at work in the universe.
John Brooke, emeritus professor of science and religion at Oxford University, said the letter lends weight to the notion that "Einstein was not a conventional theist" — although he was not an atheist, either.
"Like many great scientists of the past, he is rather quirky about religion, and not always consistent from one period to another," Brooke said.
Born to a Jewish family in Germany in 1879, Einstein said he went through a devout phase as a child before beginning to question conventional religion at the age of 12.
In later life, he expressed a sense of wonder at the universe and its mysteries — what he called a "cosmic religious feeling" — and famously said: "Science without religion is lame, religion without science is blind."
But he also said: "I do not believe in the God of theology who rewards good and punishes evil. My God created laws that take care of that. His universe is not ruled by wishful thinking, but by immutable laws."
Brooke said Einstein believed that "there is some kind of intelligence working its way through nature. But it is certainly not a conventional Christian or Judaic religious view."
Einstein's most famous legacy is the special theory of relativity, which makes the point that a large amount of energy could be released from a tiny amount of matter, as expressed in the equation e=mc2 (energy equals mass times the speed of light squared). The theory changed the face of physics, allowing scientists to make predictions about space and paving the way for nuclear power and the atomic bomb.
Einstein's musings on science, war, peace and God helped make him world famous, and his scientific legacy prompted Time magazine to name him its Person of the 20th Century.
Tuesday, April 22, 2008
Did I Fail To Mention...
That I got 48/50 on my Graduate Quantum Mechanics midterm? Can I get a what-what? Maybe my calling isn't Astrophysics, after all...
Sunday, April 20, 2008
Giving All My Power To The Money Machine
This just in: Friday night, the boy asked me to be his girlfriend. Granted, he was more than just a littled effed up at the time... but he asked, no less. He actually texted me earlier in the evening saying he had something to tell me. Which kinda freaked me out. Especially since he proceeded to lose contact with me for the next few hours. So, I think he was serious about it? We had breakfast the next morning and I mentioned that he said that and he wasn't terribly surprised (but didn't remember). Since he was drunk at the time, I asked him to ask me again when he was sober. So, of course when he didn't remember, I was a little sad. But I think his words the next day were, "the offer still stands." Grr. Boys are a little slow sometimes. Does he not realize that I wanted him to REALLY ask again? "The offer still stands" is so blah! Whatever. I'll take what I can get. He also said those three little words when we were all cuddled together. I didn't tell him about that part. That, we can save for another day.
Wednesday, April 16, 2008
A Friend With Weed Is Better
Cliffhanger indeed! Sheesh! I's been a busy, busy girl since my last post!
First things first, the boy and I never really discussed issues any further. I'm okay with that, for now. Enough was discussed at the time to keep me at bay. Besides, I have more important things on my mind right now to get overly stressed out on boy stuff, right? Needless to say, things have been going really well with him. I'm not calling him my boyfriend, but what's in a word, really? He explained his side, I explained mine. We'll leave it at that for now.
Midterms are finally over! I had one oral exam on my birthday which totally blew, but it's over so yay. My other midterm was a take home and I turned it in yesterday. So now it's back to the normal school stuff. My Astro teacher decided that he was overloading us with work and thus is giving us an option to either take another oral exam final or write the paper. I am waiting to see how well I did on the last oral before making my decision. Really? Oral would be less time consuming. But I'd prolly do better if I wrote the paper. But it's nice that he finally realized how much he's expecting from us.
I moved! Out of the parentals! Woot! I moved at the beginning of the month into a townhouse in CV with my friend from CSUH, Josh. Awesome! I was so ready to move out. I love my daddy and all, but there's only so long I can handle living with him again (aka, one year). So I moved out. Josh is one of those WoW peeps, so he wouldn't move in until we got internet. Specifically, cable internet. Which was Monday. So I had my own place for 10 whole days. 'Twas nice, actually! On my birthday, the boy brought me sushi with candles in it and we stayed in and watched a movie in my own place. :) yay. It's hard dating when you both live at home with parents! But such is the Bay Area life, I s'pose.
Yeah, yeah... need to work now. Hope that can tide you over, Ms. Shiva!!! Much kisses!
*S*
First things first, the boy and I never really discussed issues any further. I'm okay with that, for now. Enough was discussed at the time to keep me at bay. Besides, I have more important things on my mind right now to get overly stressed out on boy stuff, right? Needless to say, things have been going really well with him. I'm not calling him my boyfriend, but what's in a word, really? He explained his side, I explained mine. We'll leave it at that for now.
Midterms are finally over! I had one oral exam on my birthday which totally blew, but it's over so yay. My other midterm was a take home and I turned it in yesterday. So now it's back to the normal school stuff. My Astro teacher decided that he was overloading us with work and thus is giving us an option to either take another oral exam final or write the paper. I am waiting to see how well I did on the last oral before making my decision. Really? Oral would be less time consuming. But I'd prolly do better if I wrote the paper. But it's nice that he finally realized how much he's expecting from us.
I moved! Out of the parentals! Woot! I moved at the beginning of the month into a townhouse in CV with my friend from CSUH, Josh. Awesome! I was so ready to move out. I love my daddy and all, but there's only so long I can handle living with him again (aka, one year). So I moved out. Josh is one of those WoW peeps, so he wouldn't move in until we got internet. Specifically, cable internet. Which was Monday. So I had my own place for 10 whole days. 'Twas nice, actually! On my birthday, the boy brought me sushi with candles in it and we stayed in and watched a movie in my own place. :) yay. It's hard dating when you both live at home with parents! But such is the Bay Area life, I s'pose.
Yeah, yeah... need to work now. Hope that can tide you over, Ms. Shiva!!! Much kisses!
*S*
Tuesday, March 25, 2008
So Give Me Something To Believe
Still no word back from the boy. It's hardly been a day and a half, but I still want the letter to be ash. It's to the point of making me sick to my stomach. When I think about it. Which is pretty much always.
I realized today that even though I am on Spring Break, I should prolly actually work on school stuff. I was trying my damnest to ignore it, but really? I don't want to be uber stressed out in two weeks when I am overwhelmed with midterms and papers and homeworks. Yuck! So I seriously need to finish up the homework that was due last Friday that my teacher decided to give us the break to finish up. And? 15 page paper comes to mind. And seeing as how I completely skipped over the undergrad Astrophysics class (it was cancelled, so I went straight into the grad level Astrophysics course), I have a lot of research to do on my topic (X-Ray Binary Formation and Evolution) before I can even do the research. Since I have zero background on the subject except a nice picture in my brain of a star swirling around a black hole which is gobbling up the star's mass (pretty picture, actually... but I can't write 15 pages on how much I think the picture is pretty, right?), I need to actually LEARN about X-Ray Binary Systems before I can delve right into reading 5 recent physics journal arcticles on the topic (not the easiest of tasks, if you've ever tried to read a physics journal article on a topic you know nothing about...). And then come up with 15 pages to write about! Wooooo! And a smidgen of hoo to boot.
So that's where I've been all semester. Learning about stuff so I can learn about stuff. I guess that's what Grad school is all about? I dunno. I'm not even sure anymore that I want to even do Astrophysics. It's pretty hard! But then what? I kinda like Quantum. I hear there's a Quantum Astrophysics field that is up and coming... I'll have to look into that. After the paper is done, of course. Providing I ever even start it. Teehee. Such the procrastinator, I am.
I realized today that even though I am on Spring Break, I should prolly actually work on school stuff. I was trying my damnest to ignore it, but really? I don't want to be uber stressed out in two weeks when I am overwhelmed with midterms and papers and homeworks. Yuck! So I seriously need to finish up the homework that was due last Friday that my teacher decided to give us the break to finish up. And? 15 page paper comes to mind. And seeing as how I completely skipped over the undergrad Astrophysics class (it was cancelled, so I went straight into the grad level Astrophysics course), I have a lot of research to do on my topic (X-Ray Binary Formation and Evolution) before I can even do the research. Since I have zero background on the subject except a nice picture in my brain of a star swirling around a black hole which is gobbling up the star's mass (pretty picture, actually... but I can't write 15 pages on how much I think the picture is pretty, right?), I need to actually LEARN about X-Ray Binary Systems before I can delve right into reading 5 recent physics journal arcticles on the topic (not the easiest of tasks, if you've ever tried to read a physics journal article on a topic you know nothing about...). And then come up with 15 pages to write about! Wooooo! And a smidgen of hoo to boot.
So that's where I've been all semester. Learning about stuff so I can learn about stuff. I guess that's what Grad school is all about? I dunno. I'm not even sure anymore that I want to even do Astrophysics. It's pretty hard! But then what? I kinda like Quantum. I hear there's a Quantum Astrophysics field that is up and coming... I'll have to look into that. After the paper is done, of course. Providing I ever even start it. Teehee. Such the procrastinator, I am.
Monday, March 24, 2008
Black Holes and Revelations
Sarah made a booboo yesterday. She told the boy that she is in love with him. What the eff, man?!?!? What was I thinking? Was I even thinking at all? Everything was all fine and good and we had a fun night at D&B's on Saturday night. Sunday morn, he went to take a shower and get ready for family gathering nonsense and by the time he came back, I was in tears. So here's the deal. We've been dating for (almost) 6 months and I kinda feel like we're in limbo-land. I understand that he has girlfriend issues right now because of some past bull that he had to deal with... but I just can't sit idylly by anymore. I have feelings too! And if he isn't going to step up to the plate at some point, now is the time for me to know. I guess that's my argument. I dunno anymore. I was sad because all these doubts are totally overwhelming. But in the end, I had to tell him. He was utterly confused as to why I was happy when he left me and in tears when he came back. I had to tell him something, why not the truth? So now I dunno. He wanted me to write everything down because sometimes it's easier to get thoughts out on paper. I would have agreed with him 5 years ago. But writing all that stuff down just made me feel icky inside. Basically it was like this, "Here's how I feel - and here's why I am sad because of it." So it was a pretty depressing note by the end, in my opinion. I wanted to burn it. I still do. But he talked me into letting him keep it so he could mull it over for a few days and get back to me. Then I'll burn it. I want no evidence of 4 pages of negative thoughts roaming around my life. Blegh. So now I wait until he has some sort of organized feedback for me. I felt worse before I saw him last night. He keeps telling me not to worry... but the last time I said "I love you" to someone, he broke my heart immediately following. I know Ry wants nothing to do with another broken Sarah heart... so I hope he can move forward with me.
Oh yeah and Wooooooo Spring Break!
Oh yeah and Wooooooo Spring Break!
Tuesday, March 11, 2008
Empty Walls
Hey all!
I went and saw Serj Tankian on Saturday night at the Warfield. Awesome. With a little sprinkle of FANTABULOUS on top! What a good show! And the Warfield? I forgot how utterly awesome that place is!!! I went with the boy - who is not my boyfriend, but technically he is cuz we are exclusive but whatever.
Shortest post ever. More to come when I'm not at work haha.
*S*
I went and saw Serj Tankian on Saturday night at the Warfield. Awesome. With a little sprinkle of FANTABULOUS on top! What a good show! And the Warfield? I forgot how utterly awesome that place is!!! I went with the boy - who is not my boyfriend, but technically he is cuz we are exclusive but whatever.
Shortest post ever. More to come when I'm not at work haha.
*S*
Saturday, December 29, 2007
If You Show Me Heaven I Will Meet You There
Well, evil demon-lady gave me a B-. I should be happy it isn't a C, but I worked my ass off for a freakin' B-. That means that if I don't get a combo of a B+ and a B or better next semester, I am out of the program.
I hope she's happy.
And to think, I still have another class to take from her before my time at SFSU is done. And it's a harder class. Vomit.
I hope she's happy.
And to think, I still have another class to take from her before my time at SFSU is done. And it's a harder class. Vomit.
Friday, December 14, 2007
How Long Must We Sing This Song?
Finals.
Need I say more?
Noether's Theorem can go eff itself. Even if Noether was a chick. And there are never any chick theorems in physics. I dare you to check out the proof here. Part (c) of Problem #3 on my PHYS 701 final will be on this principle. Be sad for me. Be scared for me. Most of all, be glad you are not me.
"Noether's theorem is a central result in theoretical physics that shows that a conservation law can be derived from any continuous symmetry. For example, the conservation of energy is a consequence of the fact that all laws of physics (including the values of the physical constants) are invariant under translation through time; they do not change as time passes.
Noether's theorem, published in 1918, holds for all physical laws based upon the action principle. It is named after the early 20th century mathematician Emmy Noether. Noether's theorem is a relationship of classical mechanics between pairs of conjugate variables—if the action is invariant under a shift in one of the two physical variables, then the equations of motion resulting from holding that action stationary conserve the value of the other of the pair of variables. These conjugate pairs also play a crucial role in quantum theory—they are the pairs of variables that are related by the Heisenberg uncertainty principle (such as position and momentum, time and energy, angle and angular momentum, etc)."
(From Wikipedia, who I wish would do my final for me)
Need I say more?
Noether's Theorem can go eff itself. Even if Noether was a chick. And there are never any chick theorems in physics. I dare you to check out the proof here. Part (c) of Problem #3 on my PHYS 701 final will be on this principle. Be sad for me. Be scared for me. Most of all, be glad you are not me.
"Noether's theorem is a central result in theoretical physics that shows that a conservation law can be derived from any continuous symmetry. For example, the conservation of energy is a consequence of the fact that all laws of physics (including the values of the physical constants) are invariant under translation through time; they do not change as time passes.
Noether's theorem, published in 1918, holds for all physical laws based upon the action principle. It is named after the early 20th century mathematician Emmy Noether. Noether's theorem is a relationship of classical mechanics between pairs of conjugate variables—if the action is invariant under a shift in one of the two physical variables, then the equations of motion resulting from holding that action stationary conserve the value of the other of the pair of variables. These conjugate pairs also play a crucial role in quantum theory—they are the pairs of variables that are related by the Heisenberg uncertainty principle (such as position and momentum, time and energy, angle and angular momentum, etc)."
(From Wikipedia, who I wish would do my final for me)
Monday, November 26, 2007
Never Let Me Down Again
Is it too early to want my school-free week back? I had way too much fun with my family and lovely friends and surprise visits and and and... well, you know.
Sure would be nice if afore-mentioned boy called a girl back. But I'm not REALLY counting how long it takes... on the outside...
Short post = too much homework a-waiting!
Stars!
Sure would be nice if afore-mentioned boy called a girl back. But I'm not REALLY counting how long it takes... on the outside...
Short post = too much homework a-waiting!
Stars!
Friday, November 16, 2007
Across the Universe
I have a whoooole week off of school for Thanksgiving and guess what that means? One free blog-no guilt attached!
So, I have been in a funk all week. Well, not all week... since I finally got some freakin' sweet bootie on Sunday night! Yippee! Yep, met a boy. In a bar. In Castro Valley, of all places. It was on the night of the CV Pub Crawl at the beginning of October, and it was the last stop of the night-so you can imagine how utterly hammered I was. Anyways, cute boy wants a kiss. Drunk Sarah hasn't had any kisses in a long time so obliges. Yum yum! Puts phone number in his cell, not expecting a phone call ever. But gets one the following week! Doesn't answer, nor call back... he calls again. Wants a date. Okee dokee, why the hell not. He takes me to comedy show and pool hall. Much fun was had and more kisses. Following weekend watched scary movies at his house. More kisses. Following weekend went to the movies and dinner. Yep, kissing occurred. And last weekend watched more movies and got me some lovin'! ;) Happy Sarah was me on the Monday. Happy Sarah will be me on this weekend, if I can help it! ;)
Sad Sarah was Tuesday when ELIZABETH of all mother lovin people was on MY elevator on my way out of class. Ok, so it's not MY elevator, but how is it that I haven't seen her face since the first day of school in August until now. And of course she absolutely has to say something. I wouldn't have even noticed it was her if she hadn't said anything. Why she feels the need to say anything is beyond me. We are not friends. We haven't been in a very long time. And it was her flippin' decision to not be friends in the first place. So why the hell did she need to say words to me? She didn't. And she doesn't. And so then, to my disgust, she gets on the elevator again on Thursday and says more words to me. I couldn't even look at her. I wanted to punch her in the face or barf on her head... It took me all of Tuesday night to get over seeing her the one time and then it happens again?!?!?! Do I need to be taking the stairs now? Just stop saying words to me. WE ARE NOT FRIENDS. And not-friends say not-words to each other. They do nothing! Let's do nothing, shall we, Elizabeth? I thought that was the agreement, here. We are either friends who say words or not-friends who say not-words. There's no such thing as an aquaintanceship for us anymore. We are well beyond that point. So if you want words, then there needs to be more words than elevator words. And that's all on you.
Okay...
Rant:done
Happy-speak:done
What's left... school? Not much to say about that. I hate it. I am reaching a point where I want to quit. Seeing Elizabeth prolly didn't help that much. I'm hoping it's just bcuz this semester is almost over and I'm just over it. But I'm realizing more and more that it's the math I am good at and enjoy more so than the physics. The physics is hard. And I just don't always get it. Is that a sign? Or is it just because, after taking 2 years off of school and starting my master's program off with 2 extremely math-based physics classes hasn't truly gotten me back into the swing of things? I'll give it another go next semester with a lovely Grad level Quantum class and a nice big heaping of Undergrad Astrophysics... that should give me the tell-tale signs I'm looking for. It scares me to think that if I decide to switch to Math... she'd actually be IN my classes. Let's not think about that.
Okay, back to work. I'll see you all back in another 2 months haha.
No, seriously, I'll try to update more soonlier than that.
And yes, soonlier is a word.
*S to the Arah*
So, I have been in a funk all week. Well, not all week... since I finally got some freakin' sweet bootie on Sunday night! Yippee! Yep, met a boy. In a bar. In Castro Valley, of all places. It was on the night of the CV Pub Crawl at the beginning of October, and it was the last stop of the night-so you can imagine how utterly hammered I was. Anyways, cute boy wants a kiss. Drunk Sarah hasn't had any kisses in a long time so obliges. Yum yum! Puts phone number in his cell, not expecting a phone call ever. But gets one the following week! Doesn't answer, nor call back... he calls again. Wants a date. Okee dokee, why the hell not. He takes me to comedy show and pool hall. Much fun was had and more kisses. Following weekend watched scary movies at his house. More kisses. Following weekend went to the movies and dinner. Yep, kissing occurred. And last weekend watched more movies and got me some lovin'! ;) Happy Sarah was me on the Monday. Happy Sarah will be me on this weekend, if I can help it! ;)
Sad Sarah was Tuesday when ELIZABETH of all mother lovin people was on MY elevator on my way out of class. Ok, so it's not MY elevator, but how is it that I haven't seen her face since the first day of school in August until now. And of course she absolutely has to say something. I wouldn't have even noticed it was her if she hadn't said anything. Why she feels the need to say anything is beyond me. We are not friends. We haven't been in a very long time. And it was her flippin' decision to not be friends in the first place. So why the hell did she need to say words to me? She didn't. And she doesn't. And so then, to my disgust, she gets on the elevator again on Thursday and says more words to me. I couldn't even look at her. I wanted to punch her in the face or barf on her head... It took me all of Tuesday night to get over seeing her the one time and then it happens again?!?!?! Do I need to be taking the stairs now? Just stop saying words to me. WE ARE NOT FRIENDS. And not-friends say not-words to each other. They do nothing! Let's do nothing, shall we, Elizabeth? I thought that was the agreement, here. We are either friends who say words or not-friends who say not-words. There's no such thing as an aquaintanceship for us anymore. We are well beyond that point. So if you want words, then there needs to be more words than elevator words. And that's all on you.
Okay...
Rant:done
Happy-speak:done
What's left... school? Not much to say about that. I hate it. I am reaching a point where I want to quit. Seeing Elizabeth prolly didn't help that much. I'm hoping it's just bcuz this semester is almost over and I'm just over it. But I'm realizing more and more that it's the math I am good at and enjoy more so than the physics. The physics is hard. And I just don't always get it. Is that a sign? Or is it just because, after taking 2 years off of school and starting my master's program off with 2 extremely math-based physics classes hasn't truly gotten me back into the swing of things? I'll give it another go next semester with a lovely Grad level Quantum class and a nice big heaping of Undergrad Astrophysics... that should give me the tell-tale signs I'm looking for. It scares me to think that if I decide to switch to Math... she'd actually be IN my classes. Let's not think about that.
Okay, back to work. I'll see you all back in another 2 months haha.
No, seriously, I'll try to update more soonlier than that.
And yes, soonlier is a word.
*S to the Arah*
Friday, August 24, 2007
Once More, With Feeling
Physics tests are stoopid. Especially ones that are 11 pages long, 17 questions, and take 7 hours to complete. Granted, it was open book. And I took extreme advantage of that fact... I had my Jansport Backpack and my Sierra Club Messenger Bag chalked full of reference material. About 11 books total, one binder full of notes, index cards that I had previously prepared for myself for the Physics GRE, and a graphing calculator. Plus my lunch, of course. I lugged all of that on my poor back and shoulders from Castro Valley BART to Daly City BART to SFSU via a MUNI bus. Fun times, let me tell you. I've decided to do the BART and bus thing instead of driving... it costs about the same in the end. BART is $4.45 each way, the bus is free. Driving would mean $4 toll charge over the bridge, $5 to park on campus all day (or else find 2 hour parking for free and move may car every 2 hours-ick!), plus any gas charges of course. So BART won the prize. Which means I am going to get bored pretty dang quick with all my breaks between classes, having no car to go exploring in. It's pretty much all residential around the campus. On the upside, I won't get all aggro being stuck in commuter traffic twice a week. We'll see how much I hate BART and bus when the rains come...
Back to the test: it covered pretty much what I was expecting it to. Doesn't mean it was easy. By any means. I wanted to rip my hair out of my head, actually. All for the sake of placing me. Stoopid placing me. Can't they just be happy with my freakin' DEGREE????? I am not being graded on it, technically. It's just to see where I have holes in my education. Since we all come from different places, different schools, different curriculums, different educations... makes sense-if you don't have a DEGREE in physics. Which I do. I don't want to have to retake those classes. I was glad to be done with my undergrad for a reason!!! Monday, I have an appointment with my advisor to go over the test. But I pretty much know how I did. We'll see what he has to say.
On a happier note, got to hang with my girls after the test. All I really wanted was to curl up in the fetal position for many many hours days weeks whathaveyou... but I decided that I needed to move on from the poo depressed stage of post-test. So we had coffee. 'Twas nice. We rarely get to go out the three of us anymore.
Then it was Buffy time! Yaaaay! There has got to be nothing better than "Once More, With Feeling" on the big screen as a sing-a-long (that would be the musical episode of Buffy, for those of you who never discovered the show's awesomeness) with a full theater of fellow Buffy enthusiasts! Who can be depressed after that plus 2 additional episodes in all their cheesy glory? Not me, that's for sure!!!
Back to the test: it covered pretty much what I was expecting it to. Doesn't mean it was easy. By any means. I wanted to rip my hair out of my head, actually. All for the sake of placing me. Stoopid placing me. Can't they just be happy with my freakin' DEGREE????? I am not being graded on it, technically. It's just to see where I have holes in my education. Since we all come from different places, different schools, different curriculums, different educations... makes sense-if you don't have a DEGREE in physics. Which I do. I don't want to have to retake those classes. I was glad to be done with my undergrad for a reason!!! Monday, I have an appointment with my advisor to go over the test. But I pretty much know how I did. We'll see what he has to say.
On a happier note, got to hang with my girls after the test. All I really wanted was to curl up in the fetal position for many many hours days weeks whathaveyou... but I decided that I needed to move on from the poo depressed stage of post-test. So we had coffee. 'Twas nice. We rarely get to go out the three of us anymore.
Then it was Buffy time! Yaaaay! There has got to be nothing better than "Once More, With Feeling" on the big screen as a sing-a-long (that would be the musical episode of Buffy, for those of you who never discovered the show's awesomeness) with a full theater of fellow Buffy enthusiasts! Who can be depressed after that plus 2 additional episodes in all their cheesy glory? Not me, that's for sure!!!
Monday, August 20, 2007
Rebar Girl
Here's something I would gladly go without having to look at for the next 3 days:
But alas, I agreed to help out Fernando again while his bro is in town from NY. Blah. Did I mention I have to be in Napa tomorrow at 5:30 in the am? Blah to the second power.
Wish me luck.
But alas, I agreed to help out Fernando again while his bro is in town from NY. Blah. Did I mention I have to be in Napa tomorrow at 5:30 in the am? Blah to the second power.
Wish me luck.
Wednesday, August 15, 2007
Panther Rock
Everyone should hang out at beaches!
Cuz it's fun!
Especially when there are caves to crawl into!
Cuz it's fun!
Especially when there are caves to crawl into!
Monday, August 13, 2007
Beaches Are Fun
It's getting down to the line, folks! I have 15 days of freedom left before school starts. Freaked out much? Why yes, yes I am. I had orientation on Saturday for the new school and all its grad-iness. Not only do I have to jump through a half million hoops for these people before I can actually receive my degree, but I have to maintain a 3.0 GPA in the process, with nothing less than a C in any class. Not that I am a C student, bcuz I am not and never have been. But it's still a little bit intimidating on paper. Campus is tiny, but I like it all in all. Not much is nearby... within walking distance is Lake Merritt, but that's about it. UCSF and Golden Gate Park are close-ish. So that means that Logan will come have some lunch with me sometimes-yay! I have been thinking about getting a new bike so I have some sort of transportation... but I don't know that it's necessary. Since Daly City is consistently and constantly covered in a blanket of fog, riding a bike may not be the funnest. I remember having to ride my bike in Chico in the rainy season and nothing good ever came of it! So we'll see. I should be spending my breaks studying or working on homework or something equally productive, anyways. It's just that they're so loooooong.
Yesterday was beach day. I so needed it before embarking on this journey! We went to Panther Rock-classic! It always amazes me that we don't go there more often. It's less than 1.5 hours away, it's generally sunny (altho often windy), and there's never hoards of people there! We had a beautifully terrific day lounging about the beach in the waves and in the caves.
Relaxation is key.
Yesterday was beach day. I so needed it before embarking on this journey! We went to Panther Rock-classic! It always amazes me that we don't go there more often. It's less than 1.5 hours away, it's generally sunny (altho often windy), and there's never hoards of people there! We had a beautifully terrific day lounging about the beach in the waves and in the caves.
Relaxation is key.
Tuesday, July 24, 2007
Knights in White Satin
I must say that waking up at the butt crack of dawn for the purpose of working is not fun in the slightest. For the past two days, I have been waking up at 4:30, getting picked up at 5:00, and starting work at 5:30 in the a.m. Yucky! Yesterday was especially difficult, it being Monday and all. I couldn't really get to sleep as early as I would have liked, and then I was so scared I wouldn't wake up at 4:30 or that I would turn off my alarm without getting up that I woke up every 45 minutes to an hour for the duration of the time that I was sleeping. Today was a little better. I set my cell phone alarm as a back-up, and that helped to get me to sleep through the night without waking up. I feel way more rested today! Granted, I have a sore throat and a slight cough, but minor details. I'm ignoring it for now. Just for today. Then I go back to my normal schedule until Friday, when Fernando leaves for Mexico for a week and I take his place getting up early. Yucky!
Friday, July 20, 2007
It's What You Do To Me
Hey! Here are some good pics of testing I do at my new job!
Pretty bizarre looking, eh?
Thursday, July 19, 2007
Black Holes and Revelations
Had to go back to my old job today to pick up a check from San Ramon. 'Twas weird being there on the other side of things - picking up a check as opposed to cutting the check. It was a year ago in April that I moved over to the lab. I'd say that I don't miss that awful desk job pushing papers, but I kind of do. It was definitely easier in the sense that I wasn't lifting heavy things, unless a huge stack of paper counts as "heavy." Everyone who was still there seemed pretty excited to see me. So that was nice. I got some big hugs and good lucks (for going back to school). I even got the latest gossip. Girl/office gossip is so much different than boy/lab gossip! My old Accounts Payable boss wants me to report the happenings described previously about my now old Met Lab boss to the President of the company so that some action will be taken to correct his behavior. Since the big boss here in Oak-town isn't going to do anything drastic himself. She said she'd put something together and show me before she brings it up to the Pres. She doesn't want to do anything I wouldn't agree to. On the one hand, I think it's a good idea. It's awesome that she's got my back, still, even though I left her for the lab... on the other hand, do I want to go over anyone's head that I would have to see everyday? I dunno. She claims it's a law-suit waiting to happen. And she's right. I could probably sue the company for harrassment. I wouldn't, but I could. So maybe getting the President involved is the right thing to do in this case. So it doesn't happen again to someone who might sue the company. Plus, he likes me. If he knew that I was treated badly, he wouldn't be pleased. At all. What do you guys think? Should I do something?
Wednesday, July 18, 2007
See You on the Dark Side of the Moon
I've decided to try to design a workout schedule in the hopes that I will actually abide by it. For the last week and a half, it has worked.
Monday: Gym - Elliptical 35 minutes + Weight Resistance 10 minutes
Tuesday: Soccer with the peeps - 1-2 hours
Wednesday: Yoga with Jessa - 1.5 hours
Thursday: Gym - Elliptical 35 minutes + Weight Resistance 10 minutes
Friday: Work-out at home - arms and abs 10 minutes each
Saturday: Gym - Elliptical 35 minutes + Weight Resistance 10 minutes
Sunday: Off
Plus hiking thrown in there when I'm so inclined to do so. Yoga tonight! If I can push through my sore ass leg muscles from soccer last night - good turn out! 6 on 6 made for an excellent game :)
Monday: Gym - Elliptical 35 minutes + Weight Resistance 10 minutes
Tuesday: Soccer with the peeps - 1-2 hours
Wednesday: Yoga with Jessa - 1.5 hours
Thursday: Gym - Elliptical 35 minutes + Weight Resistance 10 minutes
Friday: Work-out at home - arms and abs 10 minutes each
Saturday: Gym - Elliptical 35 minutes + Weight Resistance 10 minutes
Sunday: Off
Plus hiking thrown in there when I'm so inclined to do so. Yoga tonight! If I can push through my sore ass leg muscles from soccer last night - good turn out! 6 on 6 made for an excellent game :)
Tuesday, July 17, 2007
Yum Yum In My Tum Tum
Make these whence you have time. They are easy and delicious! Thanks, Food Network!
Let me know if you like these recipes as much as I did!!!
Anytime Vegetable Salad
Recipe courtesy Giada De Laurentiis
Show:
Everyday Italian
Episode:
Personal Chef
2 cups shelled edamame soy beans
8 ounces thin green beans, trimmed
8 ounces yellow wax beans, trimmed
1 1/2 cups cherry tomatoes, halved
1/3 cup red wine vinegar
3 tablespoons extra-virgin olive oil
2 teaspoons chopped fresh basil or tarragon leaves
2 teaspoons chopped fresh thyme leaves
1 teaspoon salt
3/4 teaspoon freshly ground black pepper
Cook the edamame in a large pot of boiling water until crisp-tender, about 3 minutes. Drain. Rinse with cold water, then drain well and pat dry. Repeat with the green beans and yellow beans. Combine the vegetables in a bowl.
Add the vinegar, oil, herbs, 1 teaspoon of salt, and 3/4 teaspoon pepper to a glass screw-top jar. Seal the jar and shake vigorously to mix the vinaigrette.
When you're ready to serve, shake the jar again to re-mix the vinaigrette and pour it over the vegetables. Season with more salt and pepper, if desired.
Cheese Tortellini in Light Broth (I used Pesto Tortellini from Trader Joe's)
Recipe courtesy Giada De Laurentiis
Show:
Everyday Italian
Episode:
Weekend Lunch
8 cups low-salt chicken broth
Freshly ground black pepper
2 (9-ounce) packages refrigerated cheese tortellini
2 tablespoons chopped fresh Italian parsley leaves
Pour the broth into a heavy large saucepan. Cover and bring to a boil over high heat. Season the broth with pepper, to taste. Add the tortellini. Simmer over medium heat until al dente, about 7 minutes.
Ladle the broth and tortellini into soup bowls. Top with parsley and Parmesan crisps and serve.
Parmesan Crisps: 1/2 cup grated Parmesan
Preheat oven to 400 degrees F.
Pour a heaping tablespoon of Parmesan onto a silicone or parchment lined baking sheet and lightly pat down. A silicone baking sheet is highly recommended. Repeat with the remaining cheese, spacing the spoonfuls about a 1/2 inch apart.
Bake for 3 to 5 minutes or until golden and crisp. Cool.
Yield: 8 to 10 crisps
Let me know if you like these recipes as much as I did!!!
Anytime Vegetable Salad
Recipe courtesy Giada De Laurentiis
Show:
Everyday Italian
Episode:
Personal Chef
2 cups shelled edamame soy beans
8 ounces thin green beans, trimmed
8 ounces yellow wax beans, trimmed
1 1/2 cups cherry tomatoes, halved
1/3 cup red wine vinegar
3 tablespoons extra-virgin olive oil
2 teaspoons chopped fresh basil or tarragon leaves
2 teaspoons chopped fresh thyme leaves
1 teaspoon salt
3/4 teaspoon freshly ground black pepper
Cook the edamame in a large pot of boiling water until crisp-tender, about 3 minutes. Drain. Rinse with cold water, then drain well and pat dry. Repeat with the green beans and yellow beans. Combine the vegetables in a bowl.
Add the vinegar, oil, herbs, 1 teaspoon of salt, and 3/4 teaspoon pepper to a glass screw-top jar. Seal the jar and shake vigorously to mix the vinaigrette.
When you're ready to serve, shake the jar again to re-mix the vinaigrette and pour it over the vegetables. Season with more salt and pepper, if desired.
Cheese Tortellini in Light Broth (I used Pesto Tortellini from Trader Joe's)
Recipe courtesy Giada De Laurentiis
Show:
Everyday Italian
Episode:
Weekend Lunch
8 cups low-salt chicken broth
Freshly ground black pepper
2 (9-ounce) packages refrigerated cheese tortellini
2 tablespoons chopped fresh Italian parsley leaves
Pour the broth into a heavy large saucepan. Cover and bring to a boil over high heat. Season the broth with pepper, to taste. Add the tortellini. Simmer over medium heat until al dente, about 7 minutes.
Ladle the broth and tortellini into soup bowls. Top with parsley and Parmesan crisps and serve.
Parmesan Crisps: 1/2 cup grated Parmesan
Preheat oven to 400 degrees F.
Pour a heaping tablespoon of Parmesan onto a silicone or parchment lined baking sheet and lightly pat down. A silicone baking sheet is highly recommended. Repeat with the remaining cheese, spacing the spoonfuls about a 1/2 inch apart.
Bake for 3 to 5 minutes or until golden and crisp. Cool.
Yield: 8 to 10 crisps
Friday, July 13, 2007
We're all in the mood for a melody
I start my "new" job on Monday. We had the official meeting yesterday. My boss has yet to apologize to me. He claims that when he gets hot in the head, he doesn't remember the things that he said. Now, isn't that terribly convenient? Why yes, yes it is. Argh. I hate it when I don't get my way. And I don't even think it's so bad to request my way, seeing as how it is just an apology.... but if he wants to burn his bridges, then so be it! We'll just see what happens when they get totally swamped and come to me for help. Am I bitter, you ask? Yep. But at least I'm bitter and not jobless. I really didn't want to look for a new job when I'm about to go back to school.
Speaking of which, Simone and I went to Hot Topic last night for baby shower gifts for Cliff and Aariel and I got an uber cute new backpack covered in stars, weeeeee! Hopefully it's big enough. Cuz if I wind up with 6 HUGE textbooks that I must lug around, then I'm effed. See?
Ok, not the best picture, but it was all I could find on such short notice.
I got for Cliff and Aariel 2 onesies, also from Hot Topic. One is white and yellow with the Sublime logo/sun and the other is gray and says "I listen to Led Zeppelin with my daddy." Too cute! Why is everyone having babies? Should I be having babies now too? Nooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo! I don't want any babies.
Tuesday, July 10, 2007
Free Bird
We have an audit today. I guess we're trying to get re-certified by ICBO, the bigwigs. If we do, then we look good and will get more work. But that means I have to know what I am doing. And I have to care. Neither of which is true at the moment. Well, I wouldn't say that I don't know what I'm doing. Because I do. I just don't know that what I know is what they are looking for, and I have to perform a test in front of them for the audit. Woo, fun! Shouldn't be too bad. Aside from the caring part.
I'm switching departments. As soon as possible. Our camera went missing, and my boss would like to blame the fact that he thinks it got stolen on me. I'm so over it. Here's what happened:
I needed a camera for a special job I was doing for a client. Our old camera is broken (or, this was my understanding anyways), so I asked my boss to use the new camera. He went to his office, got it for me, and handed it directly to me. I then proceeded to do my work as normal, and when I was done, I went to give him back the camera. He was in our new office, moving things around and such, so I held it up and said, "here's the camera, can you download the pictures for me when you have a chance? I'll leave it right here." And put it down. Out of my hands, right? Apparently not. Because when I returned on Thursday (after the fourth of July holiday), the pictures had not yet been downloaded, so I couldn't finish the report. When my boss called me to say he was running late, I reminded him about the pictures and he said the camera was where I left it and he'd do it when he got in. So I went in to do it myself, and no camera. In it's place was our laptop, however. But no camera. When my boss came in, I said I couldn't find it, so he looked all over for it. Couldn't find it. Therefore, he assumes it was stolen. And he says it was MY fault. What the eff, man?!?!? He first says that I shouldn't have been using the new camera in the first place, that he only got it for close up pictures and such (our old camera didn't take good pics of close up things, which we often need). So I'm supposed to use the old camera, which he told me was broken? Then why didn't he say that BEFORE giving me the new one? It's not like I just went in there and took it from his office or something... he brought it to me! So I say, it's not my fault, you can't blame me. And he says that yes, he can. He says I know how absent minded he can be, so I shouldn't have just left it any-old-where because I should have known he would forget about it. I'm sorry, was that in my job spec? To keep track of his things? He acknowledged me when I said I was leaving it there, and never said anything about me needed to put it back away in his office or something. But since I did not take into account his absent-mindedness, it's now my fault that the camera "got stolen" (I still think he misplaced it when he moved the laptop). Mind you, this whole conversation took place over the phone and consisted of me in near tears while my boss is practically screaming these things at me with curse words thrown in to boot.
So he was on his way out of town. And I was on my way out the door. The next day, he wasn't in, so I talked to the big boss and requested a transfer to another department. He said that was fine, he wasn't suprised. Now it's the following week, we're buried in an external ICBO audit to get us re-certified. I do not want to help this guy out in the least, but it's my job so whatever. I haven't mentioned to him what me and the big boss discussed, so I have no idea where we stand in terms of that nonsense. I don't know if big-boss told him already or what. We've all been so busy with this audit, no one's had time to think or worry about much else.
All I wanted was a freakin' apology for him blaming me. But instead I got a lot of yelling. I do not deserve that sort of treatment. No one deserves that sort of treatment. And I won't stand for it anymore. This is not the first time my boss and I have butted heads over his inability to take responsibility for some of his own actions, too.
And I'm done with the vent. Phew!
I'm switching departments. As soon as possible. Our camera went missing, and my boss would like to blame the fact that he thinks it got stolen on me. I'm so over it. Here's what happened:
I needed a camera for a special job I was doing for a client. Our old camera is broken (or, this was my understanding anyways), so I asked my boss to use the new camera. He went to his office, got it for me, and handed it directly to me. I then proceeded to do my work as normal, and when I was done, I went to give him back the camera. He was in our new office, moving things around and such, so I held it up and said, "here's the camera, can you download the pictures for me when you have a chance? I'll leave it right here." And put it down. Out of my hands, right? Apparently not. Because when I returned on Thursday (after the fourth of July holiday), the pictures had not yet been downloaded, so I couldn't finish the report. When my boss called me to say he was running late, I reminded him about the pictures and he said the camera was where I left it and he'd do it when he got in. So I went in to do it myself, and no camera. In it's place was our laptop, however. But no camera. When my boss came in, I said I couldn't find it, so he looked all over for it. Couldn't find it. Therefore, he assumes it was stolen. And he says it was MY fault. What the eff, man?!?!? He first says that I shouldn't have been using the new camera in the first place, that he only got it for close up pictures and such (our old camera didn't take good pics of close up things, which we often need). So I'm supposed to use the old camera, which he told me was broken? Then why didn't he say that BEFORE giving me the new one? It's not like I just went in there and took it from his office or something... he brought it to me! So I say, it's not my fault, you can't blame me. And he says that yes, he can. He says I know how absent minded he can be, so I shouldn't have just left it any-old-where because I should have known he would forget about it. I'm sorry, was that in my job spec? To keep track of his things? He acknowledged me when I said I was leaving it there, and never said anything about me needed to put it back away in his office or something. But since I did not take into account his absent-mindedness, it's now my fault that the camera "got stolen" (I still think he misplaced it when he moved the laptop). Mind you, this whole conversation took place over the phone and consisted of me in near tears while my boss is practically screaming these things at me with curse words thrown in to boot.
So he was on his way out of town. And I was on my way out the door. The next day, he wasn't in, so I talked to the big boss and requested a transfer to another department. He said that was fine, he wasn't suprised. Now it's the following week, we're buried in an external ICBO audit to get us re-certified. I do not want to help this guy out in the least, but it's my job so whatever. I haven't mentioned to him what me and the big boss discussed, so I have no idea where we stand in terms of that nonsense. I don't know if big-boss told him already or what. We've all been so busy with this audit, no one's had time to think or worry about much else.
All I wanted was a freakin' apology for him blaming me. But instead I got a lot of yelling. I do not deserve that sort of treatment. No one deserves that sort of treatment. And I won't stand for it anymore. This is not the first time my boss and I have butted heads over his inability to take responsibility for some of his own actions, too.
And I'm done with the vent. Phew!
Wednesday, June 27, 2007
Every Time I See Your Bubbly Fade, I Get The Tingles In A Silly Place
My back hurts. It sucks getting older. I remember thinking when I was younger that it was weird how adults don't want to sit on the floor anymore and compain about their backs a lot. And now I see myself arriving at that place. Yuck! I decided I needed a break from my manual labor job in order for my back to not completely crumble underneath me while on a ladder. Cuz that would be oh-so-bad!!! Stupid back.
I'm sure it didn't help that I played soccer last night. For a long time. But it was so fun! We had an actual game (sort of)! 12 people came this week, woohoo! Go people! We got our run on for 2 whole hours! On the good field!!! It's awesome when people share. The other team that was practicing was kind enough to let us use half of the field. Oddly, it was chilly last night. I guess our latest hot streak is over for the time being. Unbeknownst to me, of course, who wore soccer shorts and a tee-shirt instead of pants. Oops. For the most part, I kept warm by running as much as possible. But by 8:30, no running was keeping me warm in the slightest. And my back was arguing with me to stop anyways. So I went for another half an hour with my sweatshirt until the rest of the group had had enough. Ah, summer days. Playing until 9 at night is quite possibly the best thing ever.
Monday we buried my grandma. I'm not really sure what else I can say about that. It was nice to have closure. My grandpa is not doing well. I really hope that he can semi-move on before he delves much deeper into his depression. It's a beautiful thing to see someone love someone else as much as he does. But it's a terrifying thing to see what happens when one of them goes. We all miss her. I think about her every day. It's hard not to.
Saw 1408 on Sunday. AWESOME! Go see it.
My friend Aubrey turned 30 on Saturday, and Bobby threw her a huge bash at his parent's house. There was much dancing, drinking, game playing, and swimming. I somehow forgot about my bathing suit, which was left in my car until last night. Now it smells. Bad. Really, really bad. Like, I might have to throw it away bad. I rinsed it, washed it... to no avail. I will rinse and wash once more before I lose all hope.
Let's try this work thing again.
I'm sure it didn't help that I played soccer last night. For a long time. But it was so fun! We had an actual game (sort of)! 12 people came this week, woohoo! Go people! We got our run on for 2 whole hours! On the good field!!! It's awesome when people share. The other team that was practicing was kind enough to let us use half of the field. Oddly, it was chilly last night. I guess our latest hot streak is over for the time being. Unbeknownst to me, of course, who wore soccer shorts and a tee-shirt instead of pants. Oops. For the most part, I kept warm by running as much as possible. But by 8:30, no running was keeping me warm in the slightest. And my back was arguing with me to stop anyways. So I went for another half an hour with my sweatshirt until the rest of the group had had enough. Ah, summer days. Playing until 9 at night is quite possibly the best thing ever.
Monday we buried my grandma. I'm not really sure what else I can say about that. It was nice to have closure. My grandpa is not doing well. I really hope that he can semi-move on before he delves much deeper into his depression. It's a beautiful thing to see someone love someone else as much as he does. But it's a terrifying thing to see what happens when one of them goes. We all miss her. I think about her every day. It's hard not to.
Saw 1408 on Sunday. AWESOME! Go see it.
My friend Aubrey turned 30 on Saturday, and Bobby threw her a huge bash at his parent's house. There was much dancing, drinking, game playing, and swimming. I somehow forgot about my bathing suit, which was left in my car until last night. Now it smells. Bad. Really, really bad. Like, I might have to throw it away bad. I rinsed it, washed it... to no avail. I will rinse and wash once more before I lose all hope.
Let's try this work thing again.
Wednesday, June 20, 2007
Soccer Funtimes
And indeed it was (funtimes, that is)! We had minor setbacks upon arrival to decided on field at Stonebrae School. Setbacks being that the fields (yep, 2 fields of awesome gopher-free goodness) were being hoarded by hoodlums. Okay, okay. They probably weren't hoodlums, seeing how they were playing some organized sports, but there were so freaking many of them! Why do they have to practice on the days that we want to get out and run around? Do we seriously have to organize ourselves into a "real" team onto a league in order to play on the good fields? So, we moved on over to the classics - East Ave School. It would be nice if it were flat, but you take what you can get. All seven of us got out and ran our arses off for about two hours. Sweet! Obviously, we didn't play full field, lest our legs fall off. So we played half (give or take), three on three, with rotating goalie. If you scored, goalie comes out and you take their place. It works out. Except that I never make any goals, so I never get to be goalie (ie, take a break). Hopefully next week we get some more peeps. I miss having a real game! If we got everyone to come who says they are going to come, we could totally do it. But we somehow tend to always have seven people. Not necessarily the same seven people. It's fun! It's exercise! And if you stretch properly before and after, it only hurts a little bit the next day. Or the next two days.
The rebar is calling. I have 76 to test by the end of today. Looks like I'll be here all night unless I have some super powers I haven't yet discovered that will suddenly go into effect right...
Now.
The rebar is calling. I have 76 to test by the end of today. Looks like I'll be here all night unless I have some super powers I haven't yet discovered that will suddenly go into effect right...
Now.
Tuesday, June 19, 2007
To Quit Or Not To Quit...
Welp, I've done it again. Gone back on the patch, that is. It's time, I figure, since I've been gearing up for that back to school nonsense the last couple of weeks. San Francisco State officially accepted me, of course. Orientation is on August 11th. 5 hour placement test is on August 23rd. School starts August 27th. Providing all goes well at the placement test (which is open book, thank goodness), here is what I'll be pulling my hair out over:
PHYS 701-Classical Mechanics-Lagrangian mechanics, rigid-body kinematics and dynamics, theory of small vibrations, Hamiltonian mechanics, and canonical transformations.
Tues/Thurs 935-1050
PHYS 726-Quantum Field Theory-Relativistic wave equations; quantization of the scalar, Dirac, and Maxwell fields. The LSZ reduction formula for S-matrix elements. Path-Integral evaluation of time-ordered products. Tree-level Feynman diagrams in quantum electrodynamics, and an introduction to non-abelian gauge theory.
Tues/Thurs 5-615
PHYS 785-Introduction to Theoretical Physics-Advanced concepts and techniques in mathematics applied to problems in physics. Applications in mechanics, electricity and magnetism, and fluids.
Tues/Thurs 210-325
It's quite a workload, if I do say so myself! But I'm absolutely ready to move up in the world and join the ranks of my fellow physicsts! Scared? Most definitely. But in that crazy rollercoaster-horror movie sort of way that I love. Which is why I needed to quit smoking pronto-ly. Cuz if I don't do it before school starts, then I'll find every excuse to continue smoking for the next 2 years of my program. And that just will not do.
So wish me luck on this next portion of my life. It's not gonna be easy...
PHYS 701-Classical Mechanics-Lagrangian mechanics, rigid-body kinematics and dynamics, theory of small vibrations, Hamiltonian mechanics, and canonical transformations.
Tues/Thurs 935-1050
PHYS 726-Quantum Field Theory-Relativistic wave equations; quantization of the scalar, Dirac, and Maxwell fields. The LSZ reduction formula for S-matrix elements. Path-Integral evaluation of time-ordered products. Tree-level Feynman diagrams in quantum electrodynamics, and an introduction to non-abelian gauge theory.
Tues/Thurs 5-615
PHYS 785-Introduction to Theoretical Physics-Advanced concepts and techniques in mathematics applied to problems in physics. Applications in mechanics, electricity and magnetism, and fluids.
Tues/Thurs 210-325
It's quite a workload, if I do say so myself! But I'm absolutely ready to move up in the world and join the ranks of my fellow physicsts! Scared? Most definitely. But in that crazy rollercoaster-horror movie sort of way that I love. Which is why I needed to quit smoking pronto-ly. Cuz if I don't do it before school starts, then I'll find every excuse to continue smoking for the next 2 years of my program. And that just will not do.
So wish me luck on this next portion of my life. It's not gonna be easy...
Wednesday, June 06, 2007
One Word Survey
One word survey...
You
Can
Only
Type
One
Word
Not as easy as you might think.
1. Where is your cell phone?purse
2. Your boyfriend/girlfriend/husband/wife?single
3. your hair?blonde
4. Your mother?working
5. Your father?retired
6. Your favorite thing?stars
7. Your dream last night?nothing
8. Your favorite drink?coffee
9. Your dream car?celica
10. The room you're in?office
11. Your ex?poop
12. Your fear?drowning
14. Where were u last night?plane
15. What you're not?flying
16. Muffins?breakfast?
17. One of your wish list items?boyfriend
19. The last thing you did?tested
20. What are you wearing?safety-glasses
21. Your TV?off
22. Your pet or pets?purrrrmeow
23. Your computer?on
24. Your life?uneventful
25. Your mood?exhausted
26. Missing someone?yes
28. Your car?outside
29. Your work?lab
31. Like someone?unfortunately
32. Your favorite color?red
33. When is the last time you laughed?yesterday
What happened to 13,18, 27, and 30? I feel totally jipped!
You
Can
Only
Type
One
Word
Not as easy as you might think.
1. Where is your cell phone?purse
2. Your boyfriend/girlfriend/husband/wife?single
3. your hair?blonde
4. Your mother?working
5. Your father?retired
6. Your favorite thing?stars
7. Your dream last night?nothing
8. Your favorite drink?coffee
9. Your dream car?celica
10. The room you're in?office
11. Your ex?poop
12. Your fear?drowning
14. Where were u last night?plane
15. What you're not?flying
16. Muffins?breakfast?
17. One of your wish list items?boyfriend
19. The last thing you did?tested
20. What are you wearing?safety-glasses
21. Your TV?off
22. Your pet or pets?purrrrmeow
23. Your computer?on
24. Your life?uneventful
25. Your mood?exhausted
26. Missing someone?yes
28. Your car?outside
29. Your work?lab
31. Like someone?unfortunately
32. Your favorite color?red
33. When is the last time you laughed?yesterday
What happened to 13,18, 27, and 30? I feel totally jipped!
Thursday, May 10, 2007
Tell me more, tell me more...
1. Can you cook?
2. What would you do if you were stuck in an elevator?
3. What talent do you wish you had?
4. Favorite place?
5. Favorite vegetable?
6. What was the last book you read?
7. Are you Dirty or Clean?
8. Any tattoos and/or piercings?
9. Worst habit?
HERE COMES THE FUN ...
1. How did we meet?
2. What's your philosophy on life?
3. Negative or Optimistic?
4. What was your dream growing up?
5. Worst thing to ever happen to you?
6. What was your first impression of me?
7. Tell me one weird fact about you:
8. What's your favorite memory of us?
9. If you could go anywhere, where would you go?
10. Have you ever kept anything from me?
11. What do you think of me as a person?
12. Do you think I'm sane or insane?
13. Would you cry for me if I died?
14. Would you be my crime partner or my conscience?
15. If you could change anything about me, would you?
16. How do you fall asleep?
17. Ever gotten angry with me?
18. Would you go on a blind date if I set you up?
19. If you had one day to live, what would you do?
20. A million bucks... what would you do with it?
21. What is your worst fear?
22. Favorite thing to do in your spare time?
23. Can you sing or dance?
24. In one word, how would you describe me? Be honest...
25. Will you repost this so I can fill it out?
2. What would you do if you were stuck in an elevator?
3. What talent do you wish you had?
4. Favorite place?
5. Favorite vegetable?
6. What was the last book you read?
7. Are you Dirty or Clean?
8. Any tattoos and/or piercings?
9. Worst habit?
HERE COMES THE FUN ...
1. How did we meet?
2. What's your philosophy on life?
3. Negative or Optimistic?
4. What was your dream growing up?
5. Worst thing to ever happen to you?
6. What was your first impression of me?
7. Tell me one weird fact about you:
8. What's your favorite memory of us?
9. If you could go anywhere, where would you go?
10. Have you ever kept anything from me?
11. What do you think of me as a person?
12. Do you think I'm sane or insane?
13. Would you cry for me if I died?
14. Would you be my crime partner or my conscience?
15. If you could change anything about me, would you?
16. How do you fall asleep?
17. Ever gotten angry with me?
18. Would you go on a blind date if I set you up?
19. If you had one day to live, what would you do?
20. A million bucks... what would you do with it?
21. What is your worst fear?
22. Favorite thing to do in your spare time?
23. Can you sing or dance?
24. In one word, how would you describe me? Be honest...
25. Will you repost this so I can fill it out?
Tuesday, May 01, 2007
The Beginning of the End
I'm going back to school! Well, almost. Just a few more hoops I need to jump through.
Dear Ms. Speckman,
We have receiced your application materials for graduate study in physicsand astronomy at SFSU, and we thank you for your interest in our program.Your application is complete, and currently under review with thegraduate division. Pending this, I do expect that we will be ableto admit you to our program. I hope that you will consider coming toSFSU. I hope that we will be able to process the formal paperwork soon.
Best regards,
-Maarten Golterman
Dear Ms. Speckman,
We have receiced your application materials for graduate study in physicsand astronomy at SFSU, and we thank you for your interest in our program.Your application is complete, and currently under review with thegraduate division. Pending this, I do expect that we will be ableto admit you to our program. I hope that you will consider coming toSFSU. I hope that we will be able to process the formal paperwork soon.
Best regards,
-Maarten Golterman
Thursday, March 08, 2007
Everything About You Is So Easy To Love
Is there a support group for Lost addicts?
Cuz I have a problem.
Cuz I have a problem.
Tuesday, March 06, 2007
It's A New Dawn
I went to the gas station the other day and thought "hmmmm, some water might be nice." You see, it was pretty warm outside (I love California) and I was ever-so-parched. So I walk to the back of the mini-mart and there's a sign posted on the glass for $1 Dasani, 1 pt. Yay! $1. Not too bad of a deal. A small bargain, if you ask me.
To my dismay, the cashier at the front said that it was only $1 after you bought one at regular price. Confused, I went back to the rear of the store to re-read the sign posted on the glass. Nope, nothing on it said anything about having to purchase 2 in order to get the $1 deal.
Is this not misadvertising? What could I do? I made a small hubbub at the counter where the lady and what looked like her manager were talking. It wasn't like an AMPM or some huge chain, just a small gas station. But I feel that it was wrong of them to advertise $1 water when it was not, in fact, $1 at all! Can I report them to some sort of false advertising agency? Then will I get the water for $1?
To my dismay, the cashier at the front said that it was only $1 after you bought one at regular price. Confused, I went back to the rear of the store to re-read the sign posted on the glass. Nope, nothing on it said anything about having to purchase 2 in order to get the $1 deal.
Is this not misadvertising? What could I do? I made a small hubbub at the counter where the lady and what looked like her manager were talking. It wasn't like an AMPM or some huge chain, just a small gas station. But I feel that it was wrong of them to advertise $1 water when it was not, in fact, $1 at all! Can I report them to some sort of false advertising agency? Then will I get the water for $1?
I heart John Cusack
Ok, so here are all the movies John Cusack has made... I've highlighted in red which movies I own. I'm on a mission to own them all, and any help to acheive this feat would be most appreciated. Next on my list to own are The Journey of Natty Gann and One Crazy Summer. Still hoping to find them used, but no luck yet. And no, I don't have a problem ;)
As always, it's been a pleasure.
*S*
Actor - filmography(In Production) (2000s) (1990s) (1980s)
1408 (2007) (pre-production) .... Mike Enslin
Grace Is Gone (2007) (filming) .... Stanley Philipps
The Martian Child (2006) (post-production)
The Contract (2006) (post-production)
Cosmic Banditos (2007)
The Ice Harvest: Alternate Endings (2006) (V)
The Ice Harvest (2005) .... Charlie Arglist
Must Love Dogs (2005) .... Jake
Runaway Jury (2003) .... Nicholas Easter
Identity (2003) .... Ed
Max (2002/I) .... Max Rothman
Serendipity (2001) .... Jonathan Trager
America's Sweethearts (2001) .... Eddie Thomas
High Fidelity (2000) .... Rob Gordon
Being John Malkovich (1999) .... Craig Schwartz
Cradle Will Rock (1999) .... Nelson Rockefeller
Pushing Tin (1999) .... Nick Falzone... aka Turbulenzen - und andere Katastrophen (Germany)
The Jack Bull (1999) (TV) .... Myrl Redding
The Thin Red Line (1998) .... Captain John Gaff... aka Mince ligne rouge, La (Canada: French title)
This Is My Father (1998/I) .... Eddie Sharp, the Pilot... aka Histoire de mon père, L' (Canada: French title: TV title)
Chicago Cab (1998) .... Scary Man... aka Hellcab (USA: video title)
Midnight in the Garden of Good and Evil (1997) .... John Kelso
Anastasia (1997) (voice) .... Dimitri
Con Air (1997) .... U.S. Marshal Vince Larkin
Grosse Pointe Blank (1997) .... Martin Q. Blank
"Frasier" - Our Father Whose Art Ain't Heaven (1996) TV Episode (voice) .... Greg
City Hall (1996) .... Deputy Mayor Kevin Calhoun
The Road to Wellville (1994) .... Charles Ossining
Bullets Over Broadway (1994) .... David Shayne
Floundering (1994) .... JC
Money for Nothing (1993) .... Joey Coyle
Map of the Human Heart (1993) .... The Mapmaker
Roadside Prophets (1992) (as John Cusak) .... Casper
Bob Roberts (1992) .... Cutting Edge Host
Shadows and Fog (1992) .... Student Jack
True Colors (1991) .... Peter Burton
The Grifters (1990) .... Roy Dillon
Fat Man and Little Boy (1989) .... Michael Merriman... aka Shadow Makers (UK)
Say Anything... (1989) .... Lloyd Dobler... aka ...Say Anything... (USA: promotional title)
Elvis Stories (1989) .... Corky
Tapeheads (1988) .... Ivan Alexeev
Eight Men Out (1988) .... George "Buck" Weaver
Broadcast News (1987) (as John Cusak) .... Angry Messenger
Hot Pursuit (1987) .... Dan Bartlett... aka Persecución intensa (Mexico)
One Crazy Summer (1986) .... Hoops McCann
Stand by Me (1986) .... Denny Lachance
Better Off Dead... (1985) .... Lane Meyer... aka Better Off Dead (USA)
The Journey of Natty Gann (1985) .... Harry
The Sure Thing (1985) .... Walter (Gib) Gibson
Grandview, U.S.A. (1984) .... Johnny Maine
Sixteen Candles (1984) .... Bryce
Class (1983) .... Roscoe Maibaum
Filmography as: Actor, Producer, Writer, Miscellaneous Crew, Himself, Archive Footage
Producer - filmography(In Production) (2000s) (1990s)
Grace Is Gone (2007) (filming) (producer)
Cosmic Banditos (2007) (producer)
Max (2002/I) (associate producer)
Never Get Outta the Boat (2002) (executive producer)
High Fidelity (2000) (co-producer)
The Jack Bull (1999) (TV) (executive producer)
Chicago Cab (1998) (executive producer) ... aka Hellcab (USA: video title)
Grosse Pointe Blank (1997) (co-producer)
Filmography as: Actor, Producer, Writer, Miscellaneous Crew, Himself, Archive Footage
Writer - filmography(2000s) (1990s)
High Fidelity (2000) (screenplay)
Grosse Pointe Blank (1997) (screenplay)
As always, it's been a pleasure.
*S*
Actor - filmography(In Production) (2000s) (1990s) (1980s)
1408 (2007) (pre-production) .... Mike Enslin
Grace Is Gone (2007) (filming) .... Stanley Philipps
The Martian Child (2006) (post-production)
The Contract (2006) (post-production)
Cosmic Banditos (2007)
The Ice Harvest: Alternate Endings (2006) (V)
The Ice Harvest (2005) .... Charlie Arglist
Must Love Dogs (2005) .... Jake
Runaway Jury (2003) .... Nicholas Easter
Identity (2003) .... Ed
Max (2002/I) .... Max Rothman
Serendipity (2001) .... Jonathan Trager
America's Sweethearts (2001) .... Eddie Thomas
High Fidelity (2000) .... Rob Gordon
Being John Malkovich (1999) .... Craig Schwartz
Cradle Will Rock (1999) .... Nelson Rockefeller
Pushing Tin (1999) .... Nick Falzone... aka Turbulenzen - und andere Katastrophen (Germany)
The Jack Bull (1999) (TV) .... Myrl Redding
The Thin Red Line (1998) .... Captain John Gaff... aka Mince ligne rouge, La (Canada: French title)
This Is My Father (1998/I) .... Eddie Sharp, the Pilot... aka Histoire de mon père, L' (Canada: French title: TV title)
Chicago Cab (1998) .... Scary Man... aka Hellcab (USA: video title)
Midnight in the Garden of Good and Evil (1997) .... John Kelso
Anastasia (1997) (voice) .... Dimitri
Con Air (1997) .... U.S. Marshal Vince Larkin
Grosse Pointe Blank (1997) .... Martin Q. Blank
"Frasier" - Our Father Whose Art Ain't Heaven (1996) TV Episode (voice) .... Greg
City Hall (1996) .... Deputy Mayor Kevin Calhoun
The Road to Wellville (1994) .... Charles Ossining
Bullets Over Broadway (1994) .... David Shayne
Floundering (1994) .... JC
Money for Nothing (1993) .... Joey Coyle
Map of the Human Heart (1993) .... The Mapmaker
Roadside Prophets (1992) (as John Cusak) .... Casper
Bob Roberts (1992) .... Cutting Edge Host
Shadows and Fog (1992) .... Student Jack
True Colors (1991) .... Peter Burton
The Grifters (1990) .... Roy Dillon
Fat Man and Little Boy (1989) .... Michael Merriman... aka Shadow Makers (UK)
Say Anything... (1989) .... Lloyd Dobler... aka ...Say Anything... (USA: promotional title)
Elvis Stories (1989) .... Corky
Tapeheads (1988) .... Ivan Alexeev
Eight Men Out (1988) .... George "Buck" Weaver
Broadcast News (1987) (as John Cusak) .... Angry Messenger
Hot Pursuit (1987) .... Dan Bartlett... aka Persecución intensa (Mexico)
One Crazy Summer (1986) .... Hoops McCann
Stand by Me (1986) .... Denny Lachance
Better Off Dead... (1985) .... Lane Meyer... aka Better Off Dead (USA)
The Journey of Natty Gann (1985) .... Harry
The Sure Thing (1985) .... Walter (Gib) Gibson
Grandview, U.S.A. (1984) .... Johnny Maine
Sixteen Candles (1984) .... Bryce
Class (1983) .... Roscoe Maibaum
Filmography as: Actor, Producer, Writer, Miscellaneous Crew, Himself, Archive Footage
Producer - filmography(In Production) (2000s) (1990s)
Grace Is Gone (2007) (filming) (producer)
Cosmic Banditos (2007) (producer)
Max (2002/I) (associate producer)
Never Get Outta the Boat (2002) (executive producer)
High Fidelity (2000) (co-producer)
The Jack Bull (1999) (TV) (executive producer)
Chicago Cab (1998) (executive producer) ... aka Hellcab (USA: video title)
Grosse Pointe Blank (1997) (co-producer)
Filmography as: Actor, Producer, Writer, Miscellaneous Crew, Himself, Archive Footage
Writer - filmography(2000s) (1990s)
High Fidelity (2000) (screenplay)
Grosse Pointe Blank (1997) (screenplay)
Thursday, February 01, 2007
How do you own disorder?
My head hurts. And it has for the last two days. I woke up yesterday morning with the headache and it's been sort of in the background ever since. Yesterday I kept myself pumped up with caffeine which actually seemed to help as long as I drank more within 3 or 4 hours. Now, not so much. It's almost to the point of affecting my work, which totally blows. The light is beginning to hurt my eyes, which is definitely a bad sign. I'm not sure what to do about it. My mom thinks I need to go and see an internalist. Perhaps she is right. I do have frequent headaches. And some of them, like this one, make me just wanna curl up in a dark closet with a wet washcloth. I dunno. Could be the weather, too. It's been very blah here... cold and dry. Which, combined with the dry of the heater, equals more dry. Maybe my sinuses are screaming for some humidity. Sinuses? Sini? Sinusi? I drink a lot of water these days, so I doubt it's dehydration. Stress maybe? I don't feel terribly stressed out, but I do have a lot of things going on in my head as of late. But they're all background things. Gotta pack for the move back to Daddy's house, gotta pay rent (tomorrow-after payday), gotta deal with "the boy" and whatever's bugging him that he hasn't managed to talk to me about yet, gotta visit my grandma who isn't doing altogether well right now, gotta get back to the gym before I gain 10 lbs from quitting smoking (day one is today, again *sigh*), gotta finish my personal statement and apply to SFSU. Nothing terribly major or headache inducing, in my opinion. What else could be causing me headache-strife? Any ideas out there?
Here's an idea, shut off the computer screen...
Here's an idea, shut off the computer screen...
Tuesday, January 30, 2007
Don't waste your time or time will waste you
It has been far too long since I have been to a concert! So when Simone reminded me that Muse was coming to town in April, I decided to buy us a pair of tickets. Yay! I lurve concert-going! Should be a good show. Their newest cd is pretty awesome. I would know, as I haven't removed it from my cd player in a month or so. Woo, music! I still need to locate some moolah in order to purchase their previous cd, but I fear not that it will be equally awesome, if not more so.
This whole posting thing is kinda weird. It's been so long since I have updated on a semi-regular basis, I think I forgot how!
Last night I went to sushi with my loverly soon to be ex-roommate Logan and Simoney. We went to Ta-Ke Sushi in Oakland on Grand (or maybe Lakeshore? Not sure). So good! I love that place! It will be a sad day when it's not close to home anymore. I'd better eat there again before I move back home to the CV. Yeah, definitely need to eat there at least one more time. It was good to talk to Logan. I was a little worried about how he was doing. But he seems pretty okay when it comes down to it. He's totally stoked about this new place he'll be moving into with the Dylan-type folk this month. A huge Victorian house in San Ramon, I guess. Like 4300 square feet and shit. I don't even know what I would do with that much space to fill! Aside from that, it seems as though things with the Kristen are going all right with him. They're gonna do the friend thing, which is a definite plus. I hope they can make that work. 2 years is a long time to spend with another human being to not be friends afterwards. Unless, of course, the 2 years was crap like in some situations which I won't mention here but most people know what I'm referring to anyways.
After that, we watched last week's 24 so that I could tape over it with this week's 24. All so we could watch Heroes. Sometimes I wish I watched less tv. But then I remember that I get way too stressed out when I do other things. My brain sometimes needs the tv to stop it from thinking about other silly things that I'd rather not waste my time on. Not a good reason to promote tv watching, I know. But with the school coming back into the picture, I can justify it for the time being. Because once the schooling starts back up, I won't have time for anything except physics, physics, physics.
Speaking of tv, is Lost back yet? I'm having major withdrawls, here! I think it starts back next week and I am oh-so-grateful that it will be 16 episodes in a row with no breaks, repeats, or shenanigans. Altho, this whole waiting 2 months to get my fix is pretty ridiculous.
Ok, done venting now.
This whole posting thing is kinda weird. It's been so long since I have updated on a semi-regular basis, I think I forgot how!
Last night I went to sushi with my loverly soon to be ex-roommate Logan and Simoney. We went to Ta-Ke Sushi in Oakland on Grand (or maybe Lakeshore? Not sure). So good! I love that place! It will be a sad day when it's not close to home anymore. I'd better eat there again before I move back home to the CV. Yeah, definitely need to eat there at least one more time. It was good to talk to Logan. I was a little worried about how he was doing. But he seems pretty okay when it comes down to it. He's totally stoked about this new place he'll be moving into with the Dylan-type folk this month. A huge Victorian house in San Ramon, I guess. Like 4300 square feet and shit. I don't even know what I would do with that much space to fill! Aside from that, it seems as though things with the Kristen are going all right with him. They're gonna do the friend thing, which is a definite plus. I hope they can make that work. 2 years is a long time to spend with another human being to not be friends afterwards. Unless, of course, the 2 years was crap like in some situations which I won't mention here but most people know what I'm referring to anyways.
After that, we watched last week's 24 so that I could tape over it with this week's 24. All so we could watch Heroes. Sometimes I wish I watched less tv. But then I remember that I get way too stressed out when I do other things. My brain sometimes needs the tv to stop it from thinking about other silly things that I'd rather not waste my time on. Not a good reason to promote tv watching, I know. But with the school coming back into the picture, I can justify it for the time being. Because once the schooling starts back up, I won't have time for anything except physics, physics, physics.
Speaking of tv, is Lost back yet? I'm having major withdrawls, here! I think it starts back next week and I am oh-so-grateful that it will be 16 episodes in a row with no breaks, repeats, or shenanigans. Altho, this whole waiting 2 months to get my fix is pretty ridiculous.
Ok, done venting now.
Monday, January 29, 2007
Goodbye, House
It appears as though the time in my life of living in my own place has come and gone. For now, anyways. I received word last night that the future of my roommate's relationship is non-existent. I'm sad that they couldn't work it out, but not extremely surprised. Sometimes it just doesn't work and there's only so much you can do to try and ignore the problem instead of make it better. So they've been on a "break" for the last couple of weeks and apparently decided to make it permanent.
So, what does that mean for little me? It means that my sweet deal on rent is now officially gone. I must say that it was awesomely terrific while it lasted! They were by far the best roommates I could have asked for. Not to mention that I will never find $233/mo rent on a house ever again. I am very grateful to them both for allowing me to share in the splendor that was The House.
I s'pose I could stay... it was offered to me. But the rent will not be so sweet and I would have to find a new roommate to share in the not-so-sweet rent. It sounds good in theory, but unlikely that I could truly afford it at this point.
It's back to the parents. That was my final decision after thinking about it for, oh, about 2 minutes. Heh. I'm going back to school in less than a year, so finding a new place for myself isn't too reasonable either. I was planning on moving back home, anyways. I just wasn't going to do it until much later... but shit happens and you have to take it in strides. I'm sad, yes. For Logan and Kristen. And for me. That's allowed, I think.
I'll just take a deep breath... and exhale later...
So, what does that mean for little me? It means that my sweet deal on rent is now officially gone. I must say that it was awesomely terrific while it lasted! They were by far the best roommates I could have asked for. Not to mention that I will never find $233/mo rent on a house ever again. I am very grateful to them both for allowing me to share in the splendor that was The House.
I s'pose I could stay... it was offered to me. But the rent will not be so sweet and I would have to find a new roommate to share in the not-so-sweet rent. It sounds good in theory, but unlikely that I could truly afford it at this point.
It's back to the parents. That was my final decision after thinking about it for, oh, about 2 minutes. Heh. I'm going back to school in less than a year, so finding a new place for myself isn't too reasonable either. I was planning on moving back home, anyways. I just wasn't going to do it until much later... but shit happens and you have to take it in strides. I'm sad, yes. For Logan and Kristen. And for me. That's allowed, I think.
I'll just take a deep breath... and exhale later...
Friday, December 01, 2006
Thursday, November 30, 2006
I'm a Star
Because my brain hurts today after yesterday's running around.
Note to self: Don't go to 3 different colleges before graduating again. It's just too much trouble!
So, I find it very interesting that the Tarot Card I received is the Star. It gives me some sort of satisfaction at the present moment as I try to gather all of my application materials together for Grad School to study... well, stars to some extent. I'm amazed and impressed by how many schools in California actually have some sort of Astrophysics Program. May not be exactly what I was looking for (which would be Berkeley and Santa Cruz's program... wait, Cruz's? Does that work?), but at least I can get my Masters or Ph.D with an emphasis in Astrophysics. Sure beats trying to find some sort of other speciality I would want to study. Not that High Energy Particle Physics doesn't SOUND appealing, but it's not where my main interest lies or has lay over the past 10 years, you know?
Wow, I am so excited and giddy. Going back to my old schools (CSUH/CSUEB and Chabot/Hesperian High) really got me stoked again. I forgot how much I liked learning! Just the whole college experience is something that I can't wait to go back to. Especially since now it means Research. RESEARCH! That's what I want to do, and I will be doing it in less than a year! WOOOOOOOOOOO! It kind of makes me feel purposeful again. Not that I feel like I somehow don't have a purpose, but I feel like my life is going somewhere... and it's somewhere good! It's what I have been waiting for for so long! And now I am so close it's ridiculous!
Ok, must contain myself. Breathe.
You are The Star
Hope, expectation, Bright promises.
The Star is one of the great cards of faith, dreams realised
The Star is a card that looks to the future. It does not predict any immediate or powerful change, but it does predict hope and healing. This card suggests clarity of vision, spiritual insight. And, most importantly, that unexpected help will be coming, with water to quench your thirst, with a guiding light to the future. They might say you're a dreamer, but you're not the only one.
What Tarot Card are You?
Take the Test to Find Out.
Tuesday, November 21, 2006
Correction/Update
I talked to my sissy last night... and she has actually lost 25 lbs now. That's 10 lbs in the last month! Go Becky!
Monday, November 20, 2006
Where Were We?
Hellooooooooooooo!
I really have no idea what I should blog about. Just know that I haven't updated in a long while so it seems like a good time now. Especially since we are slowslowslow at the working these days. Stoopid rain making construction slow down. It's not even raining right this instant, but it could pour any second now. It rained quite a lot last week. Well, quite a lot in one day's time. It's not raining in Long Beach. That's where my Thanksgiving will be spent this year. It's Becky's last year of school and she can't make it home this time. So we are taking Thanksgiving to her! Weeee! She's on this crazy Becky-Diet which basically consists of working out 1-2 hrs a day 6 days a week and eating less than 1500 calories a day. It's working, though. She looks freaking fabulous. Lost something like 15 lbs already! And it totally shows! She's stoked... as am I, for her. She needs to know she can do it. I think it was 2 months before she actually started to see results, but she stuck with it and now she's losing weight on a weekly basis! Go Sister! However, she doesn't want us to make stuffing for Thanksgiving dinner. No stuffing! I think my mom and I are going to make it nonetheless. Can't have no stuffing! It's just too good to pass up!
So let's see... what else is new? I took the dreaded Physics GRE. I'm so over it I don't even wanna talk about it anymore. But here's a list of schools I am going to apply to:
UC Berkeley
UC Santa Cruz
San Francisco State
UC Davis
UC Riverside
UC San Diego
UC Santa Barbara
San Jose State
One of them should accapet me, right? I'm at least counting on San Francisco State's vote since they don't require the Physics GRE or a Statement of Purpose, thank goodness. We shall see. I won't even get my scores for a few more weeks... 3-4 more weeks. I hate the waiting game almost as much as I hated the test.
I miss Shiva. I have been thinking about her a lots lately. Should she read this-I heart you!
Okay, well work beckons. Happy Thanksgiving everybody!
*S to the arah*
I really have no idea what I should blog about. Just know that I haven't updated in a long while so it seems like a good time now. Especially since we are slowslowslow at the working these days. Stoopid rain making construction slow down. It's not even raining right this instant, but it could pour any second now. It rained quite a lot last week. Well, quite a lot in one day's time. It's not raining in Long Beach. That's where my Thanksgiving will be spent this year. It's Becky's last year of school and she can't make it home this time. So we are taking Thanksgiving to her! Weeee! She's on this crazy Becky-Diet which basically consists of working out 1-2 hrs a day 6 days a week and eating less than 1500 calories a day. It's working, though. She looks freaking fabulous. Lost something like 15 lbs already! And it totally shows! She's stoked... as am I, for her. She needs to know she can do it. I think it was 2 months before she actually started to see results, but she stuck with it and now she's losing weight on a weekly basis! Go Sister! However, she doesn't want us to make stuffing for Thanksgiving dinner. No stuffing! I think my mom and I are going to make it nonetheless. Can't have no stuffing! It's just too good to pass up!
So let's see... what else is new? I took the dreaded Physics GRE. I'm so over it I don't even wanna talk about it anymore. But here's a list of schools I am going to apply to:
UC Berkeley
UC Santa Cruz
San Francisco State
UC Davis
UC Riverside
UC San Diego
UC Santa Barbara
San Jose State
One of them should accapet me, right? I'm at least counting on San Francisco State's vote since they don't require the Physics GRE or a Statement of Purpose, thank goodness. We shall see. I won't even get my scores for a few more weeks... 3-4 more weeks. I hate the waiting game almost as much as I hated the test.
I miss Shiva. I have been thinking about her a lots lately. Should she read this-I heart you!
Okay, well work beckons. Happy Thanksgiving everybody!
*S to the arah*
Monday, November 13, 2006
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)